A Life of Craziness.

Tumblin' along.

2012-01-20T20:13:00.000-08:00

So I've been playing with Tumblr for a while and have decided to start using it more frequently. Anyone remember my old health blog The Quirky Veggie? Well, this tumblr is going to kind of be a spin-off of that, except it will include all sorts of inspirations- not just for healthy eating, but for pursuing your dreams, living well, fashion, etc. Of course, the occasional funny gif will be included as well. ;)

So follow me at http://janinesinspiredlife.tumblr.com/.

Note: I will still be keeping up this blog, but am going to keep it mainly for my personal thoughts/journals and for posting photoshoots and such. My tumblr is more of an outreach, type thing. Sometimes the two may intertwine, but we'll see where this goes.

So follow me! :)

2012-01-08T11:13:00.000-08:00

I've come to the realization that this is my year.
And I know EVERYONE is saying that. But seriously. After this hellacious year of transition, awkwardity, etc., it's time for a change.
I feel like I'm at a pivotal point in my career as well, fresh opportunities are on the horizon, I'm a clean slate relationship-wise, and I really think it's my time to finally REALLY shine.

One thing that I'm extremely excited about is my audition with Fabrefaction theatre company next week for their musical Titanic. I miss musical theatre SO much, and I really think I've got a good chance. I'm excited to introduce myself to the casting people there and I really want to make my mark on the theatre scene here, which is something I haven't really done yet. Of course ultimately, I want to make my mark on EVERY scene there is, because I realized I'm going to be one of those actor/model/makeup artist/businesswoman/clothes designer/etc. type of people. Basically I want to create an empire, but hey- one thing at a time, right? ;)

Of course, I have to find things to focus on one at a time, and I really just go where doors open. Like, a couple months ago I was doing all sorts of film stuff back to back and I got to delve into that. While of course I still want to do that more, lately I've been doing alot more modeling, really because people have been contacting and finding me about it. And I'm really never one to turn down any opportunity, even if I'm not necessarily getting paid because if I've learned ANYTHING since I've graduated, it's that every single person you meet is important and could very well be your ticket to something even bigger than you could of ever imagined. Everyone you meet is a stepping stone somehow, so it's important to literally always put your best self and product forward because it's a VERY small world.

One thing I'm also excited about is the prospect of seriously delving into my make-up artistry. I've got some great opportunities for some big, paid make-up jobs coming up which is prompting me to do what I've been meaning to do for a while, build up my make-up kit. From looking on amazon for different palettes and such I will be able to do so at a reasonable price, which is pretty exciting. That really was the only thing holding me back from really putting myself out there as a make-up artist more than I have been, because of course I want to be taken legitimately. I believe my skills and technique are more than adequate, but I just didn't have the proper materials to execute it. Soon, that will change and I believe that I really could have something there if I market myself correctly. It would at least be a wonderful alternative to waiting tables to pay the bills in the meantime between acting gigs!

Speaking of waiting tables- I'm really trying to be more positive about my job instead of treating it like some sort of abscess in my life. I mean, there is no shame in it. I'm young, I'm 23 years old and working hard towards my goals but I need to pay rent like anyone else, and I'm just doing this temporarily. Sure, sometimes it's hard and I feel like it is slightly degrading, but I just need to suck it up and do it, and make the best of it. It's temporary, anyways. And I feel that in my bones even MORE so lately.

Really, I'm just feeling more confident lately about everything. My life, my career, etc. Also, being free of the baggage of guy problems I was dealing with for months is a wonderful thing. I realized that I was turning into that girl that was looking for a boyfriend at every turn. Like, if any guy showed any interest I immediately turned it into this serious thing in my mind, which I know really is not the best way to go about it. I was so focused on making somebody my boyfriend that I kind of lost myself a little bit and settled for things I don't deserve.

I realized that I'm a pretty cool person. I mean, I've got it together, I take care of myself, I can cook, bake, clean, completely support myself financially and am even able to splurge every once in awhile, I'm emotionally stable, and have got alot of talents and stuff to give to this world. If somebody thinks I'm conceited for saying that then OH WELL. Because you know what? I'm SICK of feeling like I'm not good enough because that's what I've been feeling lately and it sucks. Because I am. I deserve to be treated with respect first of all, and secondly like I am important in someone's life. Like, if I am making an effort, I expect the other person to make an effort as well. If someone is not going to, then obviously they are not worth my time. I'm over petty little "not really sure where we stand" type of relationships. Either you want to be with me, or you don't. If you do, great- let me know. If you don't- don't think that you can just come into my life like some sort of cameo artist whenever you feel lonely or what have you because I'm not standing for none of that any more.

So in the meantime, single I will remain- and I'm really coming to peace with it. Essentially, I'm out to take on the world and I'm gonna need somebody to keep up with ME, and I deserve to be treated better than I have allowed myself to be treated in the past. I mean, SERIOUSLY.

So yeah. Look out, 2012. I'm coming for you. ;)

Earrings to die for.

2012-01-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

The other day I did a shoot with Demetrious of Rious Designs (Check out his stuff here!) for a lovely jewelry line called Lavish Luxe. The shoot was basically pomotional stuff for the designer, like for the website, etc. but it proved pretty beneficial for everyone's portfolio involved. The hair and makeup artist did an awesome job, and I think we came out with some pretty great looks.

I really loved wearing these earrings- they are super duper INTENSE but so FIERCE at the same time. Seriously fashion weapons. Check out some behind the scenes shots and the results:

Check out those spikes! If you love jewelry- you definitely need to check out Lavish Luxe jewelry here.
Just wait until you see the earrings I am getting ;)

So this is Christmas..

2011-12-23T17:56:00.000-08:00

You know, this has been quite the unique Christmas season I have to say.
For one, it's been weird not being in school and having the obligatory 2 week Christmas break period. I have to live in the real world and work and such and it's just...strange.
Oddly, I feel very alone this Christmas. Without being with family, or a significant other or what have you it has been a solitary holiday season. Add to that the fact that I'm working tomorrow from 10-possibly 8 PM, and it is borderline depressing.
It's just the icing on the cake to a less than stellar year. But you know what? The struggles I've had to face have all made me grow as a person and learn SO much than if I hadn't had to go through them.
So what have I learned this year?

Things are not handed to you. When you graduate college, you automatically assume your degree entitles you to every single job offer in the world. Well my friends, that is NOT the case. I mean, I knew I'd have to struggle a little bit, but I didn't think I'd have to struggle THIS much. But yes, things are definitely NOT handed to you. I' ve always been a hard worker, but this year has shown me that it takes so much more to really gain success in any fashion.
I've also learned when it comes to relationships, 1.) I am attracted to the guys that do NOT want a relationship whatsoever and 2.) that I have extreme difficulty communicating. I tend to overthink situations and then blame guys for their actions when we haven't even come to terms with any sort of boundaries or even spoke about how we feel about one another. Which in turn, makes me somewhat bitter. But you know what? It's not even their fault. I guess if you never have the "what are we" conversation, you really can't hold anything against anyone. And when things don't work out, it doesn't necessarily make them a horrible person- you just deal with it and move on. So I'm sorry if I've seemed to put all the blame on everyone else, because my fear of confrontation and rejection has definitely made me afraid of communicating my real thoughts and feelings. And that is something I really need to work on.
I've also learned that friends are not as constant as one may think. It's like- you think your friends are there for you forever. But you move to a different city and keep on going with your life and you see that actually you will lose touch with people. And it sucks. But you just have to find a balance and work hard to maintain your relationships, because your relationships with your friends are important. People are important. Never take anyone for granted.

I may have said that 2011 was a bad year. And honestly, I've had to go through alot of stuff I've never dealt with before, and it really was challenging. But when I really think about it, it wasn't all THAT bad. I think I just grew up. And sometimes, being faced with growing up is difficult.

But thank you to everyone that made this year great and who taught me valuable things that I will never forget.

Although 2021- you better be freakin' amazing. Because I'm ready for things to really turn around. Thanks. :)

Photoshoot!

2011-12-15T11:27:00.000-08:00

I realized that I don't post everytime I have a shoot or something of the sort- that begins now! Starting with my latest photo and video shoot I did with Trey of No Contenders Creative Agency, also known as Maxposure. His work is really great, and he is focusing on building a company marketing towards actors to produce excellent quality headshots and video promo marketing material as well as interactive web comp cards and more.

He contacted me on Model Mayhem and we set up a shoot. Immediately he made me feel at ease, and we had a blast shooting different outfits as well as a promo video. I was grateful for the opportunity as I wanted some more natural sort of photos showing a different hairstyle- straight, with bangs. Here are some of my favorites that I edited myself :

As you can see, my quirky/fun side definitely showed through in this shoot which was alot of fun. We also shot a promo video along with an outtakes video where I did not even now he was filming. It's quite amusing. Those will be edited soon and I will be sure to post them when they are ready!

To check out some more of his work, you can find him at his facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/nocontenders?ref=ts

German girl.

2011-12-15T11:11:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!
So I realized I haven't blogged in awhile.
I'm going to skip the obligatory apologies and go straight to the content of this blog post, however.
You're welcome! :)

So what has been going on with me lately? Well first of all, I'm recently back in the states after my life pretty much took a hiatus for 2 weeks while I was in Germany. I was there to visit my family, as it was my grandma's 80th birthday. (All my mom's side of the family still lives there!) It was my first time visiting for 7 years. While at times it was a bit of a culture shock living in a small German village with no internet, phone access, transportation, etc. - it was good for me, I think to kind of relax for a bit and press the "Reset" button on my life, essentially.

While I was there I had alot of time to think about my life and where I'm headed and what I need to change, etc. and I think it really gave me a fresh perspective that I needed. This summer has been quite tumultuous to say the least and recently I've been realizing just how quickly life, friend and relationships change. It's therefore important to always hold family and your dreams close because those people that you thought would always be there are not always going to be. And that guy you think holds the world in his hand? He doesn't have that strong of a grip. And never take people for granted, because you never know that they just might turn into something special :)

But life lessons aside- here are some Germany pictures!

I definitely ate/drank my weight in bread, cheese, sweets, and beer but I had a wonderful time. :)

What is Love? (Baby Don't Hurt Me)

2011-11-10T09:00:00.000-08:00

As I look back on my slightly deluded love life (or lack thereof) it is really quite humorous when you look at it. I mean, seriously- like every day I get hit on by the randomest of men whose direct bluntness about it all takes me off guard and makes me wonder why it is that I get so much unwanted attention, yet with the guys that I am actually interested in, it's like I'm completely invisible.

Can someone explain that to me?!

I mean, seriously. Not that I'm so incredibly desperate to have a boyfriend or anything (while it would be nice,) I'm just trying to figure out what the deal is.

And then to just further complicate matters, I'm completely hopeless when it comes to reading other guys. Like, there is someone in my life that everyone says is totally into me. But I don't know, to me I just don't get that. We're friends, and while I admit I am possibly toying with the notion of something more- I just don't really get these strong signals that everyone else apparently sees! So basically: I'm retarded and I create signals in my mind from guys that AREN'T interested in me, but when someone may actually be, I literally am oblivious to it. Meh.

The bottom line here is maybe the life of a cat lady isn't so bad? I mean, you have an excuse to just be crazy and wear bizarre sweaters and host tea parties and collect kitschy knick-knacks and have a never-ending supply of incense and potpourri.

On a completely unrelated topic- can I just say that I have literally been OBSESSED with my nails lately?! It's so strange. I used to bite them incessantly and never ever had nice nails and just resigned myself with the notion of having little boy hands and wearing false nails when the occasion calls for it, but I have been taking these biotin supplements and just, well, NOT biting them and now they are beautimus! The thing is, I've gotten really into nail-art and nail trends and what not and it's like this whole new world that has been opened up to me. But then...it also becomes a sort of obsession...like whenever I do my nails, and then they start chipping, I have to immediately take it all off and re-do my manicure completely, instead of just touching it up. It's turned into a hobby. But I like it!

Also, just as a general update on life- my new work schedule is literally amazing and I'm a million times happier than I have been. So that's good.

I leave for Germany in two weeks. Life is grand.

Regaining Control.

2011-11-01T14:12:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months, I realized that I somehow lost control of my life. I was working 50-60 hours a week at a job I don't necessarily care for with no time to devote to my actual career, health, well-being, etc. etc. etc.

Add to that a pretty unhealthy "relationship" (If you can even call it that) and yeah. I was not really too well off. I was in a really low emotional state about a month ago. It took a phone call from the coordinator of the web-series I film for every week saying how I wasn't myself anymore to get me to realize that there needed to be a change, and soon! Literally everything was spiraling out of control in my life. On my days off, I was so tired all I ever did was lay around. I was too tired to even workout, so I was gaining weight and eating unhealthy foods...basically I just felt awful all around. To make matters worse, I felt like my agency was sort of giving me the run around based on some technical issues and it seemed like I was stuck there, too. After realizing my career was basically at a standstill and I was absolutely miserable, I decided in one moment that I was not going to continue to live this way.

So, I basically altered my schedule the way I wanted and told my manager if I could not get those hours then I would have to leave. I also decided to call my agency every single day basically until I got what I wanted.

2 weeks later, I have the perfect schedule, and today I filmed a video audition with my agency to send to the casting directors of Army Wives for an episodic role. I've already lost a few lbs. because of my time to work out again and I feel a million times better.

I'm just so incredibly thankful and blessed that things have worked out the way that they have, and I can't stress enough that if you are unhappy with your current situation in life, there IS something you can do. Always. Granted, it may take a little time, but if you really want a change, you are able to change it.

I've also made another great realization- I absolutely do NOT deserve to be treated the way I have allowed myself to be treated with guys. Obviously, if a guy is truly interested he will make time for you and let you know that. There will be no ignoring for weeks at a time, or keeping you around to make themselves feel better during moments if insecurity or when there are no other girls available. Apparently lately I've been completely deluded into thinking there could ever be more than what there was with a certain somebody whom I really cared about (and still do, but in a different way.) It sucks, because you know when you meet that person that you just click with so well, who shares so many of your same interests and passions, but when you find out that they are not at all what you thought they were? Yeah. I'm sick of that happening. I just feel like I deserve to be treated with nothing but the utmost of respect. So yeah. I'm taking back control in that regard as well.

In other news, I got the iPhone 4s! Basically, I knew I was going to get it for Christmas/bday, but my old phone broke AND I was due for an upgrade, so fate stepped in basically and I decided to get my present a little early since I was completely phoneless for a couple of days. And I'm essentially in love with it. Like, I don't know how I even survived before?! ha. And Siri is fantastic! It's literally crazy amazing.

Anyways, long story short, I'm very content at this present moment. I feel like only great things are coming my way. AND I get to visit Germany in a couple weeks! Ahh! I'm so excited to get on a plane, get out of the country for a while, and get back to my roots. :)

It's time for the tides to turn.

2011-09-10T21:20:00.000-07:00

Fall is here, folks. Can you feel the freshness in the air?! Ugh. It makes me overwhelming happy to be free from the stagnant summer of 2011. You've heard me go on and on about this, but seriously- this summer has just not been the greatest in the world for me. But you know what? In light of recent realizations and with the advent of a new season, I can already feel things changing for the better. For one, I'm making pretty good money at Taco Mac with the beginning of football season! Granted, I'm being worked...alot. (14 hr days anyone?!) But monetarily it's all good in the hood if you know what I'm sayin'. Also, I know it seems minor- but I now actually have a couch and working washing machine in my apartment! This is a huge step to making my apt. feel more cozy and like a living space instead of a dorm. It is a pretty great couch too, I must say, esp. for it being from Goodwill! Now all we need is a coffee table, TV, entertainment center and some dining room furniture and we'll be set for cozy livin'.

In addition to all that, I came across a sort of epiphany with this whole situation that's been plaguing me about this guy. I realized that even though I was getting some positive signals, what it all boils down to is if someone really wants to pursue something with you and see you, they will find a way. It's that simple. It's like that book, "He's just not that into you." It sucks- but once your realize it, it's so freeing! It's like- there's no use struggling and fighting tooth and nail for something that isn't there. So I just gave it up, and I feel great! :)

So yeah, things are definitely on the upswing and I'm very grateful. I'm not letting myself wallow in negative thoughts any longer.

2011-09-04T00:12:00.000-07:00

Because I am trying to not seem like a debbie downer in other social media networking sites- I'll let it all out here.
I'm really not happy right now.
I just got off a 16 hour shift. As in...I got to work at 10 AM and did not leave until like 2:00 AM. With no break. It was the start of football so things were absolutely INSANELY busy...my feet literally feel like they are about to fall off. Ugh. Granted- I made a lot of money tonight, but it all needs to go towards things like bills and paying for my passport, etc.
Lately I feel that is all I have been able to do with my life is just work work work. No time to be social, no time for creativity and anything artistic that actually makes me happy- just work. And I tell you what, I'm weary. Physically. Emotionally. Absolutely drained.
And in addition to that I'm just sad because I'm making realizations that are extremely difficult to come to terms with and that of course is a burden on me.
SO basically right now I feel tired, drained, lonely, and sad.
And on top of that I'm still dealing with the whole post-college transition which if course is still difficult.
Long story short- things have definitely been better in my life.
I'm still waiting on confirmation of certain things from my agent before I can even start booking, too, so that is frustrating of course.
I just want things to turn around. Desperately!
=/

2011-08-31T21:37:00.000-07:00

Guess what I did last week?

Jumped out of a plane.

No, seriously, I did.

Me and some good friends of mine decided to go skydiving, and...can I just say...it was one of the most AMAZING experiences of my ENTIRE life.

Like...I'm almost positive there is nothing more scary than jumping out of a plane and freefalling...but the feeling you get once you've landed is one of utmost accomplishment. It's like- man, I've jumped out of a freaking PLANE. I can do ANYTHINNG!!!

It's like nothing in this world can even scare you because you've just done the scariest thing you could possibly do. At least for me it was. I was in tears on the plane from the general overwhelming fear that consumed me and of what I was about to do.

But I'm so glad I did!

I seriously would recommend it to anybody. It's something I think everyone HAS to experience at least once, no matter how scared they are of it. It will make you feel like an entirely brand new person...seriously.

But you know what's funny? I have the courage to jump out of a plane yet I find that lately I'm lacking courage to just have a singular conversation with someone, because I'm so terrified of the results. Don't you wish you could just say whatever you wanted to say without any repercussions?! Sigh. I just wish I could stop thinking about this certain situation and just continue life as it was before it all came about. But alas. I'm just feeling really conflicted and it's not the greatest of feelings in the world, but I'm a strong girl.

Sometimes, though I get tired of always being the strong, independent one all the time.

2011-08-18T21:05:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, but lately I've felt super emotional. Like way more than I usually am. I don't know what it is, but it's really strange...like...I can cry at the drop of a hat, or get REALLY angry about something small. I usually am so laid-back and can easily brush things off my shoulders, but for some reason things have been hitting me hard lately. It's weird. Meh. At least it may be good for my acting..? Ha!

Anyways, lately life has been a little...well.. not hard. But a bit of a struggle at times. I work all the time at Taco Mac, and while most of the time it's not too bad, I just feel like I live there basically. And it's rough because serving is not always the easiest job. Granted, I make pretty good money which allows me to live somewhat comfortably at the present moment, but it's almost not worth it. I said ALMOST. ha. I do enjoy the funds! :) But it just makes me long for the days when I can operate solely from freelancing writing/acting/playing music. It's hard also because I still have my writing gigs, so sometimes I have to spend half the day writing and the other half at Taco Mac. But it's okay.

So something else that's been going on my life is that there is this guy, right? And it's like...being around him makes me feel so incredibly happy and comfortable and like all is right with the world, but things are not very...definite. And in a way that is good, because I don't think either of us are really ready for something very definite at the moment, but at the same time this whole situation scares me, alot, because I feel like I am at this point where I am allowing myself to get hurt even though we are not even at any definite state. I'm afraid of pushing him away, so I don't want to make things weird by bringing up the "what are we?" conversation...But I just find myself in a dilemma because there are these other guys that want to go on dates with me and pursue something and I just find myself closing them off because I can't really put my heart into it. I just feel like it's almost not fair to them to do so, even though others say I should since I am not in any sort of committed relationship. Long story short- my "lovelife" is very complicated. I'm just letting things flow naturally and see how things go without trying to push anything. The last thing I want to do is push this person away from my life and scare them, as they are dealing with residual issues, which...aren't we all?

I don 't know what I really "want" from the situation per se....maybe just some sort of confirmation that I'm not the only one who feels the way I do. But oh little ole' me is so afraid to rock the boat. Le sigh. Well we'll just see what happens. I can be patient. I've been patient with every aspect in my life for the past few months and I can continue it!

And the summer ends...

2011-08-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this post by saying this:
This summer has put me through the ringer emotionally, physically, and everything in between.
Transitioning from college to "real person" life is very hard, I must say. I had heard others talk about it and thought, nah, I'm sure it will be fine...but no. Seriously I don't think I have had this hard of a time adjusting to situations in a long time. I've had mini bouts of depression, mixed in with some really awesome times as well- so it's just been...weird.

Career-wise- it's been pretty exciting. I've got some cool things under my belt, and I feel like I'm just in this "brewing" phase...like in the next couple seasons I predict some majorly awesome things to happen and I'm just waiting right now. But it's okay- because fall is almost here! Yayy! But yeah, I mean it's been a little slow, not constant acting work or anything but that was to be expected. But with Backalley Strut's marketing material and fundraising campaigns about to start soon and some other projects in the works- I'm really excited about what is to come in the future- but I have to say, this summer has taught me alot about patience, ESPECIALLY when it comes to my career.

Job-wise, I've been through 2 different "survival" jobs. The first one didn't really work out, so I am at Taco Mac now and honestly it is working out so much better for me. I'm making a ton more money than I did before, and am actually pretty financially secure right now, which is an amazing feeling for sure! The only downfall here is that I'm working alot more. Like...I feel like I LIVE there. The good thing about that though, is that it kind of allows me to create friendly relationships with the other people I work with, and it will help me transition from "new girl" quicker. I already feel pretty assimilated, and this week has definitely been easier than the first. My first week I was scheduled for literally 8 shifts including 3 doubles...it was really rough, especially seeing as I'm just not used to that yet! It really drained me. But I think that I am getting more used to it now which is good. I don't foresee myself staying there FOREVER or anything, but it is a pretty positive environment, the clientele is easy-going, and I haven't had any real issues or anything. So that's always good.

Something else that's going on in my life right now that I'm SUPER excited about is that I'm in a band! It has not been officially named yet, however it includes me on the keys, Jonathan on guitar, Drew on guitar/bass, and probably other various people will join in with other instruments. We also all do the vocals so we 've got some pretty cool harmonies and such. We already wrote and recorded our first song. It isn't completely finished so it won't be released yet for a while- however it is so awesome to be able to hear something that you created completely on your own. I mean we all wrote the lyrics and music collectively and I've just been in a creative dreamworld being able to do something like that. I never thought I was capable of it and have always wanted to create music but didn't realize just how I would do it- but sometimes it's so crazy how you meet just the right people in your life that allow you to do all the things you wanted to do. I mean, conveniently, Drew actually owns his own recording studio, so what it would have cost thousands of dollars for others to do, we did...for free. And with Jon's video production skills we can have an epic music video as well. Basically- we have cheated the system ;) hehe. But anyways, I am lovin' our first song and can't wait for it to be released to the world...it's kind of surreal how quickly it all came about but I have a feeling that we're on to something here...
It really does feel good though to feel capable of expressing myself creatively in this new way- being able to write something that I and so many people can relate to! :)

Discoveries...

2011-07-31T08:01:00.000-07:00

DISCOVERIES:

At the grocery store....

Trader Joes' Gone Bananas Chocolate Covered Banana Bites
These have given me a new lease on life...and I know it sounds simple, and it is- but there's something about the proportions/texture of the creamy chocolate and miniature banana bites that aren't frozen like a rock that culminates in a heavenly experience that is unparalleled. Seriously. Get these. They're like, $1.99 at Trader Joes a.k.a the only place I choose to shop nowadays...

Trader Joes' premade pizza dough

Let's add this to the ever-growing list of reasons why I adore Trader Joes: the pre-made pizza dough balls. Yes. for literally A DOLLAR, you get a wonderful pizza crust- not the gross, tough Boboli one that is already "baked" or what have you- no, this is a soft, doughy ball that allows you to be the masterpiece of your culinary creation. I made some pizza the other day with this, and it turned out literally amazingly. Plus- it's always fun to put on some Dean Martin, and pretend to be a pizza dough tosser. I'd never done it before- but somehow I instinctively was a master at distributing the dough evenly in the air. Guess my Italian roots come in handy for some thing, huh? :P
If you are in the mood for some pizza that's not of the Domino's variety- get yourself to Trader Joes, get some pizza dough, sauce, cheese, toppings (I used bell peppers, onions, mushrooms and fromaggio and mozzarella cheese on a whole wheat curst!) And enjoy heaven.
OH also you can use a dough ball to create some amazingly delicoius homemade garlic knots ;)
That's Amore!

On the Internet...
ONE WORD: SPOTIFY.

It's pretty amazing. It's literally like owning all of the music in the world. What it does is it imports your itunes library in an organized fashion- then it allows you to search and listen to whatever you want, streaming in real time. There are minimal ads, and there is virtually no loading time or anything- so it literally is like you own all of the music already! Another pretty cool thing about it is that there is the social aspect- you can "send" songs to friends, and see your friends' playlists and share playlists with your friends as well.
Honestly I haven't dabbled too much in the social aspect of it yet- but it's wonderful for finding new music, as it has "related artists" to suggest to you- and instead of iTunes, where you are directed to merely samples of songs- you get to listen to the whole album! Pretty awesome if you ask me. And I mean Spotify has EVERYTHING. It even has obscure Broadway musicals and karaoke tracks! I can definitely see that coming in handy. And what's more, if you do decide to pay just a minimal price- you can connect it to your iPod or iPhone to play it throughout your house through wifi. And I'm pretty sure you can store it on your mobile device as well, so you can literally own all the music in the world and take it with you everywhere!
I think it's limited/invite only still, like you can get invites from people who already have it, or you just go to their website and sign up. That's how I got mine! :) But yeah. I'm obsessed. Definitely beats having to go to Youtube and deal with ads to listen to a certain song you want to hear. They're all provided here for you already! :)

FoodGawker

Lovers of all things tasty, delicious, and unique will love FoodGawker! Here is a compendium of all the best food blog posts on the web, updated daily. I've found some pretty amazing recipes here that I can't wait to try like Nutella and banana chocolate crepes, and Cake Batter Martinis. the best part is ever single recipe has a stunning picture. It's like the largest recipe book that has the best recipes and best pictures. (Because we all skip over the recipes without a picture- let's be honest.)
So f you love to cook, bake, or just love browsing through food- I'd recommend you to check out FoodGawker, Stat. Tastespotting is another similar site, if you run out of food to gawk at. (You won't. But feel free to waste more time! Yippee!)

In the music world...
Meaghan Smith, "The Cricket's Orchestra."

If you have the "500 Days of Summer" soundtrack, she is the one who did the cute cover of "Here Comes Your Man." Her music is a whimsical, lighthearted mix between Ingrid Michaelson, Sara Bareilles, The Ditty Bops, and She & Him. Definitely worth checking out for sure!

Matt Nathanson, "Modern Love."

You may know Matt Nathanson by the song "Higher," which got some major radio airplay. But this new album is definitely worth listening to. I love the song "Faster." :)

Takin' Charge.

2011-07-27T21:45:00.000-07:00

Okay. So if you read my blog you may have noticed I had not been feeling quite up to par lately.

After having a couple really great conversations with friends and making personal realizations that have put things into perspective for me- I have literally made a mental 180. And it truly is miraculous what can happen when you just DECIDE to make a positive shift- almost immediately I receiged the biggest/most lucrative writing assignment yet (bringing me closer and closer to my goal of quitting the restaurant biz!) and have received some really uplifting encouragement from the most unexpected of places.

Just putting myself out there, taking charge and re-connecting with old friends has really helped alot. I realized that I can't just expect people to bend over backwards to want to hang out with me, I have to put an effort in myself. And doing that has proven to be most beneficial.

It has also helped me tremendously to just count my blessings...be grateful for the great things in my life and to stop worrying and stressing about the things I don't have yet, or that haven't come into place yet. Just accepting what IS...is a very liberating concept. Of course, one should always be making efforts to improve and challenge themselves and further their career- but I think it's so important to realize the things you can and that you can't change, and accept where you are in life, and do all you can to change things for the better. But it's imperative to remember that certain things may not change immediately just because you want them to, and everything has its right timing. So patience is key. It's hard at times, oh is it hard- but making the best of the state you are in at this present moment is going to make you so much happier!

At this point in my life, I feel like I am glimpsing things turning around, finally. I've quit the job that had made me anxious and not very happy, and I am not officially done with training at Taco Mac and start my first shift Saturday. (Which is a double. Ugh. But at least I'll get some monayy! haha) I think it's definitely a more positive environment, and much nicer for my gas tank, too :)

I've also signed officially with Real People Models & Talent. I'm excited to see where this takes me, and with the onslaught of new movies being filmed here, there's no telling just what the industry has up its sleeve for me. Maybe I'll be on your movie screen soon ;) There are also SETC and UPTA auditions coming up and it would be pretty great to get some theatre work, especially musical theatre- seeing as how much I miss it! I actually really miss singing in general. I would love to take some voice lessons but just can't afford it right now, unfortunately...but soon I will get myself a keyboard and I can start my new endeavor of singing/songwriting which I am really excited about- so I suppose then I'll be singing :) I think that I'm going to start out doing covers, mainly until I start writing some songs. That will be alot of fun, I think!

I also think I want to start painting again...in my apartment there is this little sunny nook by the balcony that is tiled that I think would make the most perfect little area to set up an easel and just paint. Granted, I need to get some supplies, but once I have a surplus of money to spend I think I may just slowly build up some art supplies and paint again. We're going to need some decorations for the living room as I have hung up all my old paintings in my bedroom, hehe.

Anyways, I am just feeling generally really good and in a good mood lately, and it's literally because I decided to. Never underestimate the power of positive thoughts- you really have so much more power than you think to control your mood. If you are constantly being swayed by circumstances surrounding you and wallowing in negativity, of course that will always breed negativity and unfortunate situations. So smile more. Do something nice for someone. Just decide to be happy. And you will. :)

2011-07-24T21:29:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is about me lately, but I've been feeling so darn emotional! Why! Why this outpouring of emotions coming at me randomly?!

Perhaps it is all the alone time I have had lately to be able to really think.

I've just been in a strange little funk, and I don't like it.

Sometimes I find myself even, well, sad at times. Granted, I realize my life could be alot worse. I mean, I'm living in my own apartment in Atlanta, pursuing what I love, and experiencing some successes, however minor they may be.
But I do have to say the grandeur of city life is not exactly what I thought it would be. Instead of going out and experiencing fun nightlife and exciting adventures nonstop like I was sure I would be doing, I find myself just sitting around my apartment by myself...watching Youtube video clips of "My Strange Addiction" or what have you. Reading random Yahoo articles. Eating.

And it seems like the people I thought I would be hanging out with alot seem caught up with other people and things, and my ever-so-passive nature just dismisses it and lets it happen. It's weird- I'm so incredibly pro-active with my career and the things I want, yet I can be so amazingly passive when it comes to my relationships with people. And now that I'm no longer in the safety net of college, where I am required to always hang out and maintain relationships with my peers, I find myself just letting friendships melt away...letting myself lose touch with people... which in turn makes me feel well, lonely.

Loneliness is not a feeling I'm used to. At ALL. In college I valued my alone time greatly. I literally don't think there was a moment that I felt bored, or lonely- because in the spare chance I had, say, an evening or afternoon all to myself, I completely relished in it.

However now I'm swimming in alone time, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But it also allows me to overthink situations and realize just how much I think I took people for granted. And realizing something like that always puts a sour taste in your mouth.... =/

Connecting with people on certain levels is something that I struggle with. I mean, it's pretty easy for me to make acquaintances and connect with people on a surface level. However, I've always been the person who has a small, select group of really close friends who truly know everything about me. And that's not to say that I have deep dark secrets and skeletons in my closet or what have you, haha, but I just have a hard time really opening up to people at times. And that's not to say that I haven't met some truly amazing people to be friends with here in the past few months, but I sometimes worry about being invasive on their life-long friendships- me being the "new girl" so to speak.

I guess it's weird because I don't really have any "roots" here, per se. Not that I really did in Columbus at first either- but going into college and especially studying theatre, you create roots easily, and I did have them for the 4 years I attended CSU. And I know that there are people from CSU that are here in Atlanta, but alot of the time I feel like we are doing such different things that I still have a hard time connecting, unfortunately.

Disconnected really is the best word for how I feel right now. From friends, from the world, from myself. I really hope this passes soon, because it is quite the unsettling feeling! And I know I normally am always the cheerful, look on the bright side type of person, so it's weird for me to be feeling a little down...and I feel like nobody really understands exactly what I'm going through so I don't want to just sit and complain about it...hence why I have been having some rather personal posts lately on my blog.

I just miss certain things. Like theatre. I really miss theatre, honestly. I think I miss it because of the connection I felt throughout the whole process- the connection to a character, to my fellow actors in the show, to the story, to the audience during production...it's really a huge collaboration and shared art that it's impossible to not feel connected to anything.

I'm just struggling in this transition phase. And even though I'm technically all transitioned into my new place, new city, etc....I'm undergoing an internal transition which is hardest of all, really. I'm so used to focusing on myself and my needs 24/7 in college and while it paid off, I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of myself. Is that weird? Like, I obviously am still very focused on my career and am trying to make things happen, but at this point I just want more than that.

I don't know what that means exactly, but when I figure it out I'll let you know.

Stagnant.

2011-07-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

I dub this summer "Stagnant Summer."

As much as I love summertime because I truly enjoy frolicking in water, being able to wear rompers outdoors and not worrying about staying warm- I feel as though it is just time for it to be over!

I declared that this fall is when things would seriously start turning around for me, especially career-wise, so I think I'm just getting impatient. I'm just ready to leap! I'm ready to quit serving for good, book some large gigs, and pursue what I love to do full-time, no questions asked. I KNOW it doesn't happen right away. I'm not stupid. But it's oh, so hard to remain patient at times!

I think it's just going to take some risks for me to be really happy. For example, I'm about to sign an exclusive contract with a bigger ATL based agency than the one I'm with now...and while it may be a risky move- I think it may be just what I need to kickstart everything into motion! I'm a huge believer in following your gut and instincts, and taking opportunities when they fall into your lap. Everything is put in your path for a reason, so I feel that it would definitely be a good idea.

Along with taking leaps in my career, I think I may be at this point where I can take leaps in my personal life as well. I'm unbelievably guarded at times, especially when it comes to issues of the heart- I don't want to hurt people and of course I don't want to be hurt as well. (Who does?) So in essence I just don't *allow* myself to feel certain things, constantly upholding my fiercely independent ways to the core. I've always lived with this philosophy that me and my career is of utmost importance no matter what. (Selfish? Maybe. Necessary? Yes.) I strongly believe that I absolutely could not be at the point I am right now if it wasn't for this mindset, especially through my college years.

However, now that I'm settled a bit into my "adult life" and my career is at a point where I feel like I have control of the reins, so to speak- I can almost begin to see myself dissolving a bit of that brick wall that usually surrounds me. I actually find myself craving companionship more than my alone time sometime, which is highly unusual for me if you know me.

Granted, this personal transition and realization is absolutely terrifying to say the least. Being one that can honestly say I've never experienced my heart broken by another person completely- the notion that this could happen if I start to allow myself to open up is so extremely scary. I'm so afraid of putting myself out there and literally run the other direction at the first hint of rejection. I'm so afraid of being "that needy girl" that I probably can seem cold-hearted at times, but it's just really my way of protecting myself, from, well-myself.

Really, I wish I wasn't so darn awkward.

Odd Things I've Done.

2011-07-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

One day for Halloween we were allowed to go in the costume shop at school and try on the craziest things we could find. Of course I went for the sparkles! Interestingly, I actually got to wear those gaudy shoes in a show eventually.

This was one of my birthday parties. I magically attracted angry cylindrical balloons to my face through sheer will!

The summer after my freshman year in college, I taught theatre to a group of children at an arts camp called Midsummer Macon. One of my ideas was for them to make masks...this was my example. Bizarre.

While preparing to decorate our new apartment, my roommate and I came across these picture frames at Target with Alien-esque babies. Hence, the "Alien Baby Trio" was formed.

I don't. even. buh. We decided to have a Top Model day. We ended up taking these random pictures for some reason...and this is what came out of it. I obviously cut and pasted in MS Paint..if you couldn't tell.

I turned myself into a man once. John Stamos?

I decided to turn myself into a Christmas present! Wee!

One day I decided to sponge-curl my hair on a whim. I literally looked like Shirley Temple for 3 days.

HELLO KITTY PAJAMASSSS

Posing with cats (preferably clothed) is a popular pastime of mine.

I let Robin "dress me up." This was obviously a bad decision.

This was me before a performance of Crazy For You... We had some cake beforehand. I decided its home should be my head.

I just decided that paper would make great facial hair for some reason.

Posing with life-size donuts is always a fun time.

I turned myself into the Bride of Chucky for a costume contest. Pretty craycray.

Me and my friend Megan wrote a parody song of Ke$ha's "We R Who We R." It was about baking and some of the lyrics included "I take it nice and slow... when I'm kneading my dough...Don't you wanna know ....my secret recipe?!"

My honest and uncensored thoughts on...

2011-07-11T07:34:00.000-07:00

Planking.
OMG YOU'RE SO COOL BECAUSE YOU LAID DOWN FACE FIRST ON A RANDOM OBJECT LOLOMG
I'm sorry. You're dumb.

The Casey Anthony Case.

In the great words of Antoine Dodson,

That is all.

Hair Feathers.

Um...I'm sorry. Gluing fishing bait into your hair ala Steven Tyler and Ke$ha just creeps me out. I have no idea how/why this is such a huge craze right now but I just feel like it's dumb and those feathers just look gross for some reason...like...ehh. No feathers for me, thanks.

Post-College Life.
There are some parts about my post-college life that are super awesome: No class for example. Or having to deal with financial aid. Or knowing I don't have to study for an exam. Or write a paper. (Hmm. Well as a freelance writer I still kind of have to do that...although instead of a grade I get money. So I guess that's an upgrade of sorts!) Although there are some parts that are just straight up weird/annoying at the moment. For one, at the moment I'm feeling really disconnected/detached form friends that I used to be attached at the hip with. It's just...odd. I mean I understand it's naturally going to happen, but it's weird to get used to. And I mean I have other new friends that I've gotten closer to over the last few months which is nice. But I just feel like I keep detaching myself from people and I don't know why! I mean...yes...I'm independent and I have always been. But I see myself involuntarily detaching myself more and more from people. I don't know why I do it! But that's something I just need to figure out. Meh. /endtherapysession.

Boys.
Hey boy! It's painfully obvious I like you! If you like me too...awesome. You should let me know. If you don't...not awesome, but I still need to know so that I can stop feeling like some weird anomaly! I just want to know if we're on the same page, that is all.
(I'm too chicken to address this because I'm scared and severely lacking in courage at the moment.I refuse to be judged. You know you all do it too. )

Shadyness.
Stop being shady, people. It's not cool.

Help me!

2011-07-05T20:01:00.000-07:00

Hello friends!
Feeling like a good Samaritan? Well, there are a couple ways that I can use you guys' help right now.

Why would you want to help me?

Well, 1.) It would help me get a little bit of an income so that I can live my life not having nervous breakdowns about paying bills, 2.) All those warm fuzzy feelings you get from helping people will be rampantly coursing through your veins, and 3.) You may get a chuckle or two and/or actually find something useful!

So how exactly can you help me? Well there are a couple projects I've got going on that can take maybe 5 minutes total of your time.

The first one is for this modeling casting call that is relying on promotion from their facebook page in order to choose their models. It is for a jewelry line called Shore Side Jewelry Co. and the selected models get a pretty great (paid!) shoot/opportunities. All you have to do is "Like" their FB Page by clicking here and then subsequently "Like" the photo of me here. That's it! Just a few seconds of your time. I know all you are doing is watching youtube videos of cats, anyways. So just take one second to help a sistah out and I would be so very grateful!

How else can you help me?

Well, I actually work for this site called Best 5 Everything which is basically a compilation of lists created by the users. Through the site alone you can win points which can be redeemable for Amazon giftcards or the proceeds can be donated through charities- however I'm working for a separate client, albeit through this website. Essentially, I just need page views on my lists! Some of my favorites/most helpful include:

and many more! So check out my lists, tweet/Like them if you find one or more amusing, and it would actually help me out alot :)

Thanks everyone so much!

Swimwear Lust.

2011-07-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

I want.

Lamebook

2011-06-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

I love this site. Here are a few gems:

EXCITE.

2011-06-22T10:39:00.000-07:00

So....

I just booked a commercial that will be aired on Cartoon Network for a year, for a very popular brand name product that I'm not really allowed to mention yet. I'm actually filming it tomorrow and I'm BEYOND EXCITED.

I'm playing the role of "Hot Girl." Apparently it's comedic and it's going to be a fun group so I really can't wait. It's going to be so cool to be on a big-scale production set and not actually be an extra but something legitimate for once!

And that's not all- I also got a job working as a freelance writer for a company that produces web content for clients. At first I won't be getting paid much, it's on a per article basis- but there is lots of opportunity to move up to bigger projects and who knows- if I keep booking acting stuff and make decent money with the writing thing, eventually I'll be able to quit my restaurant job which would be SO AMAZING. Now don't get me wrong, I really don't mind working there, and I actually like it- but it's just the flexibility that is the huge issue. I hate how hard it is to get shifts covered- I mean, that is why I wanted a serving job in the first place and not an office job, so that is a major obstacle in my way. I've already had to pass up several opportunities because of it which is frustrating, but again, it's all in the timing so I have to try to not get too upset about it all. It's just hard right now, but hopefully soon I will be able to quit.

But anyways, I'm waiting to hear back from production to get more details about the shoot tomorrow. I'll keep you posted how it goes! :)

A Typical Day in My Life

2011-06-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

9:30 AM: Alarm goes off and I awaken from my slumber. Most of the time I'm woken up by the obnoxious buzzing my phone makes when I receive an e-mail before that, and the curiosity of what that e-mail may hold forces me to get up and check it on my computer. And by "get up" I mean reach down to the floor where my laptop nests and lift it up to my bed where I proceed to check it.

9:45 AM: I realize that it's the next day and it's time to eat breakfast! I get really excited when I realize that I bought groceries so I can eat a real breakfast instead of a slice of bread and an orange, which is what I've been eating for the past week. I make a bowl of vanilla greek yogurt with chopped up banana, and eat it in front of the computer, on my bed, as I have no furniture in any common spaces of my apartment.

10:45 AM: I see that I've spent an hour on the computer checking e-mails, facebook, twitter, all the other social networking sites that I use, as well as checking casting calls on various sites and doing networking/career things. I bemoan the passing of time and wonder where it went! I know that I need to get up and go work-out before it gets too late and disrupts my day but I usually find something else to do instead. (Things such as writing a blog perhaps...?)

11:30: I finally get around to going to the gym. And by "gym" I mean, the large walk-in closet sized fitness center located in my apt. complex that includes 4 machines total. But hey- I can get my run on! I play mind games with myself to make running 3 miles on the treadmill a more pleasant experience, and just get it over with. I sweat about 5 gallons of water and wonder why the small fans on the treadmill seem to be blowing air but not in any particular direction that I can control. After my run, I feel very accomplished and check myself out in the large mirror lining the wall to see if I've lost 10 lbs. yet.

12:45: Time for lunch! I get very hungry after working out so I make something to eat. I haven't brought all my cookware in from my car trunk yet (it's such a heavy box!) so I stick to things that don't need extensive preparation. Today I'll probably eat a salad.

1:30: Shower time!

2:00: I wonder where all my time has gone and scramble to get ready so that I can do something productive before work. Lots of times this includes going to the bank, going to Kinkos, cleaning, running around Atlanta, etc.

3:30: I head out for work and hope I don't run into too much traffic on 85. Usually I'm fine at this hour, though. Thank God I live RIGHT by 285, because Roswell Rd. is craycray busy!

4:00: The restaurant doesn't even open until 5, so all the servers have to do things like polishing glasses and cleaning for that first hour. It's also a sort of a social hour, where we catch up and talk as we clean. Sometimes it goes by pretty fast, but other times when people are in particularly blah moods, it can go by really slow... this usually tells me how the rest of the day is going to be.

5:00: The restaurant opens, but most of the time things are very slow until about an hour later so we all go fold our obligatory napkins in the back and wait until we are told we have a table. This is also a social hour-type thing.

6:00: Woo! A table! I go do my server thang and charm my way to a good tip...that is unless you're that table that left me $2 on a $150 check when everything went smoothly....darn you!

6:10: I make myself a glass of water at the bar and continually fill it and sip on it throughout my shift. This causes me to use the restroom about 20 times and proves inconvenient when it gets busy at around 7:30-8ish and I am double-sat.

6:30 I get another table...and this goes on of course until the end of the night. Depending on how busy it is, I can spend alot of the time at the bar hanging out with the fellow servers bemoaning how slow it is on this particular day, or I can be running around and wondering where all our bread is, or trying to find a manager to run a coupon trough the system.

10:00 If it is a weekday, this is when the restaurant closes. However, since I somehow ALWAYS end up with the lingering tables, we'll say the restaurant actually closes at around 11 for me.

11:00 I do all my closing out procedures and head home. Yesterday I worked out with a couple of my coworkers- one of who is a fighter and is super hardcore. I literally felt like I was going to die at certain points but it's good for me! I'm going to try to make this a weekly thing. But usually I just go home.

11:30: I'll grab a snack and do more computery stuff. Catch up on all the fun things I missed while I was at work and submit myself to extra work and other casting calls and what have you.

1:00: Around this time I realize that I'm tired but somehow I end up facebook stalking someone completely insignificant.

1:30: I realize that I'm stupid and I just need to get to bed. So I do.

2011-06-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

I want so many things in life at this particular moment but one of the hardest things is just waiting everything out. Never before have I felt so...I don't know...antsy..? In many aspects. While I am absolutely loving being graduated and feeling like the world is open to me, I feel like I am up against some unknown resistance, otherwise known as "incorrect timing." I feel like in April I had all these opportunities throwing themselves at me while I was still having to leap through hurdles to graduate- but now that I am actually available for them all- they have disappeared! While I know that is not completely true, as all this Backalley Strut stuff is about to get set into the marketing frenzy soon (I saw a near-final cut of the last "episode" or promo video we will be showing to potential investors and it's so awesome!) it's still something I will have to wait on technically.I feel like I"m playing this huge waiting game with my career. Waiting for audition submissions from my agent. Waiting on replies from auditions from theatre companies. Waiting until I make more money so I can get new headshots taken so I can submit to more agencies, and wait on them to respond.

But you know what, it's what I signed up for. You don't get a degree in theatre and expect to be a full-time actor immediately. It just doesn't happen. And sure, it may be a little frustrating right now but I know, I KNOW in the future it WILL pay off! It just sucks to have to be in this phase of uncertainty while everything else catches up to line into place. But it's cool. I will prevail, and life could DEFINITELY be worse. I mean, everything has fallen into place before and it will continue to do so, so I can't fret! :)

In other aspects of my life...I think ole' Cupid may be teaching me a lesson which is cool but frustrating. I really don't want to seem conceited at all when I say this, but normally I have pretty good luck with guys. That is before this past year where I feel like I've morphed into this clueless ball of awkward who doesn't know how to handle herself in situations with guys. And the irony is that I get hit on so much and so many guys are interested in me that I have absolutely NO attraction to whatsoever or that it would never work with at all. It's simply ironic. Yet frustrating! I get really awkward about guys hitting on me and asking for my number, it's literally one of the most uncomfortable situations for me to be in. Like, I am just a bad liar for one thing, and I feel like guys don't take the answer "I'm just weird!" very well when I don't give them a real reason I don't want to give my number. But I mean, it's true! I just get so weird about it. I don't want to have the pressure of them having my number at their disposal and wanting to hang out or whatever, but then I have a hard time of being mean to them at the onset, I just tend to go along and converse with them and be nice, and they mistake that for "a connection" which makes them really surprised that I don't eventually want them to call me all the time. Meh.

Oh, boys. Get it together!

Totes loving this song right now.

2011-06-14T10:53:00.001-07:00

2011-06-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

So life as of lately has been pretty cool. Yesterday I had my audition at the Alliance Theatre for their original new show: "The Real Tweenagers of Atlanta." There's a funny story about how I actually GOT the audition:

So, I'm just at work, serving tables, and I get one table that was particularly chatty and it was slow so we got to talking. It's really interesting how many people are actually interested in their server's life, particularly in a restaurant like Dolce, where it's not a "get in, eat, get out" type of place. But anyways, I told them I was an actress and they kind of chuckled a bit. Well come to find out I was serving the table of 2 of the staff members of the Alliance Theatre, which is basically the best theatre company in Atlanta. They do lots of collaborations with celebrities and produce new plays as well as old ones, and are just super respected and well-known.After some more chatting they told me to come in to audition for a show that they are doing on Monday and asked for my information. I received a confirmation e-mail today!
It was just totally CRAZY...because normally you have to send in your headshot and resume to even get an audition with them at all, or go through Unifieds or something like that. But just by simple going to work at my completely unrelated to the industry serving job, I ended up scoring an audition. The irony is that I was planning on submitting my headshot and resume to them the next day in hopes of being called to come audition.
I never realized that my serving job could be an important networking tool- mainly because my last serving job was in Columbus, GA where there is nobody that can really do anything for me. But here in Atlanta, the odds are much greater of meeting influential people I suppose! Last week I also served a staff member of Actors Express who was cracking me UP. We ended up getting in a conversation about my love life, baha. I don't think he was as influential in the casting arena as the people I served from the Alliance, so no auditions there- but I'm sure he would recognize me if our paths crossed again at an audition!

As far as other career things go, once I get some new headshots taken, I'm going to be represented by another non-exclusive agency here in Atlanta which is pretty cool! I have been meaning to get some new headshots done anyways but I just gotta get the money saved up first. Thankfully I've been making more money at Dolce here recently and hitting my nightly goals which is nice! :) I'm glad business has been picking up, even if somehow I tend to end up with the lingering tables at the end of every shift...literally...I'm like the LAST server to leave. Every time. But it's okay! I've been making some pretty good tips considering the amount of work I actually do, haha. It's pretty much the easiest serving job ever.
Also last night I went out with a few of the people I work with and it was so much fun! I'm glad that I work with some pretty cool people. It definitely makes it less like "work," ya know?

I'm just ridin' out this whole post-college thing and while sometimes it is hard to be patient...I definitely like it. :)

Matrimony!

2011-06-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends from high school, Brooke Summers got married last month, and I was a bridesmaid. The wedding was absolutely beautiful and I had a wonderful time! I was grateful that I actuall had the opportunity to make it at all because that was right in the midst of all the craziness of my life- trying to graduate, do schoolwork, and I was filming alot. In fact, the day of the rehearsal dinner I had been filming the Wingless Butterfly trailer from 8 AM right up until 3:30...and then I had to leave immediately to drive 2 hours to Augusta from Lawrenceville, GA. I got dressed in the car and subsequently ripped my skirt, causing a wardrobe dilemma for myself in which I ended up having to wear my jeans. I actually remember being really worried that Brooke would get mad at me, but in the grand scheme of things I think that was probably the least of her worries the night before her wedding day, haha!

Anyways, everything went well and the reception was a blast. Here are some photos from the wedding, shot by the wonderful h & d photography:

Congratulations Brooke and Ryan! :)

Excitement.

2011-06-04T08:33:00.000-07:00

So things have been going pretty swimmingly, here lately! :) Yesterday in particular was a great day for my career,

I secured interviews with 2 agencies, Modern Models and About Faces Models and Talent, they are both Atlanta based full-service agencies. I think they are non-exclusive which is nice because that way you can be represented by several at the same time, thereby increasing opportunities to be seen and submitted for work!
I found out I get to film for lcdtvbuyingguide.com next week, which is great because that is a nice little income supplement for me! :) The review I did of the HP Slate 500 is now up on www.tabletbuyingguide.com, too- check it out here!
I got a submission notice from my agent for a lead in a SAG Feature Film! I still have to wait to see if the casting director wants me to audition- but it's still exciting. The character is a "21st century Laverne/Shirley/Jersey girl so it will be...interesting bahaha

I've been submitting to other various sundry acting gigs here and there as well. Really, right now it's all about sowing the seeds! However I AM getting frustrated with my actual job...it doesn't seem as flexible as I thought it would be in the beginning- for example every Saturday every server is scheduled, so I basically can't get out of any Saturday night which is not really going to work for me! =/ Although I do enjoy the laid-back nature of the job and the people are really cool...I just don't want to risk opportunities that will be important for my career for the sake of a restaurant. But right now I need to be there and build some money up so I will remain!

Lately I've been working myself back into shape again, and I feel great. This past month, while I've been in a strange sort of limbo, I've found it really hard to work out regularly and stay healthy, however now I'm very motivated to keep on top of it. I realized that I had gained a little weight, and we all know the saying- "the camera adds 10 pounds!" It's really true! While I have no desire to be anorexically thin by any means, I do realize that it is important for me to stay in optimal shape. I definitely have fallen off the wagon so I'm jumpin' back on! Woo! Thankfully, living in Atlanta makes it alot easier to get a bigger variety of healthy food and things- today I went shopping at the Dekalb Farmers Market which is honestly a bit overwhelming, but I got some really great deals on things! They have so much produce there that there were things I'd never even seen or heard of. There is basically everything you could ever want. It was pretty packed so it was a mildly bit stressful, but I conquered it! I'm excited to start cooking alot again, now that I have more time to do so.

So yeah, that's my life right now basically. I'm still trying to get used to this free time that I have in my life but I think that I'll get used to it soon enough ;)

Hurrah for Acclimation!

2011-05-29T16:07:00.000-07:00

So, I am officially a resident of Atlanta, in my own apartment, and not in training anymore, but an official employee at a pretty great restaurant.

I'm so happy! Moving was quite the arduous process overall, but I got through it with the help of my friend Drew, who is a SAINT for coming with me, since it took pretty much all day and was not the funnest task in the world for sure.

Besides work, I've just been enjoying life in Atlanta with new and old friends alike, meeting new people, making connections, and just enjoying NOT being in school. :P

The other day I attended an event called the Get Connected Entertainment Industry Mixer which was held in downtown Atlanta and is basically a compendium of filmmakers, production companies, modeling/acting agencies, etc. They had booths set up as well as mini-studios and people were constantly asking to take your picture and things. Of course, I obliged:

(BTW I got this dress at Plato's closet for EIGHT DOLLARS.)
Anyways, it was alot of fun, and we also got to see a screening of an indie film short which was...interesting...that's all I'm going to say about that :P But it was cool to see what other people are doing. I've been doing alot of work with Acosta Productions lately and we are going to try to get our own booth set up at a mixer in the future. (They happen once a month!) Even though I'm an actress, I'm a somewhat unofficial "member" of the team, I suppose :P

Anyways, right now I'm just looking up casting calls/auditions and doing as much as I can, trying to market myself and just do my thang. Now that I'm done with the graduation transition- I can finally start putting all my energy into my career which is such an amazingly liberating feeling I can't even describe to you!

I'm excited to see what life throws at me :)

What I want to accomplish in life.

2011-05-25T18:16:00.000-07:00

I want to make a living doing what I absolutely love to do more than anything else, acting. Contrary to what people may believe, my ultimate desire in life is NOT to be rich and famous. I could care less if people on the street know who I am. And money is just money. (Although it WOULD be nice to be able to buy some Louboutins every now and then!) But really, I just want to be able to support myself solely from my acting whether it be theatre, film, or both. My logic is if other people can do it, so can I.
I want to encourage and inspire others through my personal discoveries/struggles. As some of you may know, I actually have a health blog focused on vegetarian/veganism as well as a tumblr devoted to positive body image. (I actually need to update the health blog more as I've been slacking on it!) But there is no greater feeling than somebody messaging me or telling me in passing how much they enjoyed an article of mine or that I have encouraged or helped them in some way. Being healthy and learning to love my body are things that I struggle with everyday and some days are easier than others. Writing is such a great outlet to help myself and others at the same time and I just want to make some sort of impact, which leads me to my next point:
I would love to write a book aimed at college-aged girls addressing issues, such as keeping healthy, financially stable, fit, and emotionally in check. Not that I'm the expert on these things- but I have learned so much these past four years and have many stories to tell that I think would help others. Who knows when I'll actually have it done, but I think I may start on it soon...
I want to travel. Alot. I thrive on change and I just am hungry for new places and experiences. Some of the places I want to visit: L.A., NYC (again), Italy, France, Greece, England, Hawaii, Japan, etc. Really I just want to go everywhere! I'm super excited because I actually may be visiting Germany with my mom in November to visit my grandma for her birthday...and one of the things I want to do is just take a train to Paris by myself and write while sitting under the Eiffel tower. Maybe grab a crepe or two and just revel in the place I am, reveling in a different culture and lifestyle that I'm used to. That would be perfect :)
I want to produce a singing album and have a live show. No, my life goal is not to be a pop star singing sensation- but I just want to start writing my own music and getting back into playing piano and just record an album. Having friends and contacts that actually own recording studios makes this dream more of a possibility in my life and I've been thinking of it more and more. I actually wrote the beginning stages of a song today which is something I've never really dabbled in before...but was surprisingly easier than I thought. Of course, I always have my dream of singing 1940s jazz standards in a glamorous gown in a smokey lounge setting. And you may think I'm joking...but seriously...that is a dream I've had for a while. And one day it will happen :)
I want to design clothing. I've always had an eye for fashion and drawing and used to actually do this when I was younger...but I think it would be amazing to team up with someone who can actually sew a little bit better than I can and turn some designs on paper into an actual tangible garment that I designed. I mean, I suppose could always just learn to sew myself but who has time for that?! :P But seriously, going along with that whenever and if I do get married, I think I want to design my own wedding dress as well. Who knows, maybe I'll pay and commission my costume shop administrators from ole' CSU into making it for me :)
Ultimately I never want to lose my sense of openness and spontaneity, and I just want to just enjoy life's every opportunity that is thrown at me. While I have a general plan for my life, I honestly have NO IDEA what I'll be doing 5 years from now. I mean, if you told me the things I was doing right now about a year ago, I wouldn't even believe you. A year ago I told myself that I would probably never be a Shakespeare actress, or wouldn't ever do film and here I am, the last theatre production I did being a Shakespeare show, and I've landed several paid film gigs and now have an agent. I'm not tooting my own horn or anything, but just making a point that it's amazing what can happen if you just open yourself up to new things. I obviously have a lot to learn still in this crazy world of acting especially, and there are constantly things I can improve on and learn. I think it's important to NEVER think you know it all, because the moment you think you've got it made and have all the answers- life throws an anvil on your plans and says "Nope!" I've learned this first hand and I'm sure others can attest to this as well. I hope that I never come across as braggadocious or arrogant. I know we actors sometimes have the tendency to just post everything that we are doing and go off about our "craft" but people just have to realize that it's such an unstable and insecure life we lead, and we are constantly faced with people doubting our abilities. I mean, if someone tells their great Aunt Milly that they are a business major in college, they'll get a "Oh, wonderful! So glad to see you doing something smart and productive!" Whereas a theatre performance major will get an "Oh, that's nice...well good luck with that." with a concerned gaze. So anytime an actor actually lands something, especially a paid gig- it's just a "HEY WORLD, YOU WERE WRONG!" type of move, really. We are constantly fighting for that seal of approval from our peers, from our family, and from ourselves. Any ounce of validation is a major accomplishment, so don't roll your eyes at us, just realize that it's hard to pursue a career path that most people think is a pipe dream. And well I just went off on a major tangent here, but sometimes when the words come out you just can't stop them! :P Now on to my next bullet point of life accomplishments:
I want to not go off on tangents. Hmm...well that may be the hardest bulletpoint to accomplish so moving on... :P
I want to be able to financially give back to my parents. They have helped me so much over the years in many ways other ways besides just financially- but I want to be able to at least give back in that regard. I'm not sure exactly how or when, but it will. They deserve nothing but the best in life. Now that I'm edging on 23 I'm seeing more and more just how much my parents have sacrificed for me and I'm more and more grateful for everything that they do. Their selflessness and positivity is inspiring.
I'd like to meet a man who challenges me to be a better person; who tells me when I need to slow down in life and just live, and also when I need to get it together and push forward. Someone who shares my same belief systems and who is not afraid to be proactive. Someone who doesn't mind cats and thinks my quirks are endearing and not strange. Someone who realizes that I am not expendable and who doesn't think my career path is dumb. :)
Ultimately I want to spread positivity in this world. I absolutely can't stand it when I see people repeatedly tweeting and posting negative facebook statuses and are just a drag to be around. I'm just a huge proponent of the notion that if you don't like your current circumstances, CHANGE THEM. Only you have the power to do so. Also, negativity breeds negativity. It's so crucial to find positivity in your situations. And I mean, I'm not 100% happy-go-lucky all the time, I definitely have my moments when I am sad or feel frustrated and angry, but I choose not to dwell on them. I really don't like sympathy and I just like to solve problems instead of focusing on them.My father who battled leukemia for 7 months is probably still the biggest inspiration in my life. I may have mentioned this before in earlier blogs, but literally throughout his entire battle he never complained once. Through chemo, through bone marrow transplants, through endless treatments causing him to age about 20 years, losing almost all of his physical strength...he never lost his faith. He is the strongest person I've ever known and even to the end, he never ceased to amaze me with the endless stream of positivity that flowed out of him. This has always stuck with me and I just have a hard time really sympathizing with people when they complain about petty things. And I know I'm not the only one that has had to deal with situations like this and people have gone through even worse things- but the difference is this: do you let the situation turn you into a bitter, angry person, spreading negativity and animosity or do you accept the cards you're dealt and allow them to turn you into a stronger and wiser person? Some choose the former. Take my father's side of the family, for example. Most of them refuse to speak to my mom to this day because she got re-married. They harbor so much bitterness and anger that it's unbelievable and it manifests itself continually. None of them are happy in their own lives and they are dealing with horrible issues on a daily basis that probably would not be there if they took initiative to better themselves and turn their situations into something not steeped in resentment, but into situations that enabled them to deal with things in a more positive manner. But again, that's something I cannot control and I don't intend to speak badly of my relatives, as I do love them and wish the best for them, but I just hate that they can't look past these things and just accept life, really.
Did I mention that I needed to stop going on tangents? :P
There are many more things I would love to accomplish in life, but I think I'll stop for now. There is always more I will wish to do and experience and learn, so this list will never end.

merp.

2011-05-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

So I'm almost finished with training at my new job, Dolce. Today I pretty much took charge of all the tables, with my trainer following me and it went rather swimmingly. I'm finally getting back into the "server" groove which is nice! I just have to say that not working for a corporate chain is pretty great. It sucked because we actually made some pretty good money but since I'm technically still training I only kept a very small percentage of them....which is understandable as I AM getting paid by the hour. Regardless it definitely made me feel good to know that everything ran pretty smoothly.

The only bad thing is it is seeming as though things may not be AS flexible as previously thought...I may for awhile have to just focus on building up a nice cashflow and get some savings going before I can really delve deeply into theatre specifically, because it's just a time commitment that I'm not sure this job will be able to work around, especially seeing as they are only open on the evenings. But if another door is meant to open it will be, and for now I'll stick with it and see how it all pans out. I have no worries, because I'm finding more and more that the more I believe and just have faith that things will work out, even if I am stressed or anxious- they ALWAYS do. Literally, every time. So I just have to stop fretting! Case in point: I was super stressed out because I thought I wouldn't know my work schedule until tomorrow when I would "skill out," or be certified to begin serving, and I was worried about not getting a day off to move my stuff from Columbus to my new apartment in ATL.

However- apparently the manager who is supposed to be there to officiate this skill out can't even do it until Saturday, SO...I now have the rest of the week off and I am going to be able to move in on Friday! Also, I am now able to attend this industry mixer that is a super great networking tool on Thursday, AND...I get to go on a boat outing tomorrow and get some sun and just relax! :D

I'm seriously loving life right now and I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of this transition phase which is wonderful. I just can't wait to just be in my new place and just soak it all in...I'm a college graduate and now able to fully pursue my career! Wahoo! :)

However when it comes to my personal life I'm still plagued with uncertainty and fear but it's hopefully something that will work itself out. I'm in such a strange place, I feel when it comes to matters of the heart and relationships and the like. I don't even know what I want, really and that may be the problem, in fact. Because most of the time when I want something, like, REALLY want something- I will do whatever it takes to get it (within reason, of course!) But I just always find myself meandering and not really "going for" anything when it comes to guys, and I'm not sure why. I feel like I have this constant sort of wall that is built up around my heart that has just gotten bigger and thicker the past couple years and in some ways it's a good thing, because I'm able to easily get over bad relationships and unrequited crushes with ease, but then I worry- because the one day I actually really get my heart completely broken there will be much more destruction and rubble...

But time will tell. I'm not completely miserable being single or anything. My fiercely independent self thrives on being able to not answer to anyone or have to do anything other than watch funny cat videos for hours if I so please! :)

Wingless Butterfly!

2011-05-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

Last month I had the pleasure of filming the book trailer for the upcoming author Casi McLean's new book, "Wingless Butterfly." I am so grateful for the opportunity as I almost wasn't able to do it- but I was and am so glad. I am just so pleased to be able to promote such a positive inspirational message. To quote the author for the synopsis:

A powerful memoir, Wingless Butterfly—Confessions of a Recovering Jerk-Magnet, unveils a true story of hope and inspiration. In her compelling manuscript, Casi McLean uncovers an elusive secret past—and changes her future. Her mother’s ominous warning about her mysterious birth father haunts her: “He’s the kind of man who pulls wings off of butterflies.” Eerie dreams of a faceless man combine with repeated failed relationships to propel her through a portal in time on the roller coaster ride of her life. When she stumbles upon sinister secrets, Casi confronts dark shadows lurking in her soul that hold her captive in psychological bondage. As the mystery of her mother’s metaphor unravels, she realizes that to save her future, she must find the power to destroy the wall of fear, betrayal and deception that looms large and foreboding over her life.

It was so much fun working with Jonathan Acosta of Acosta Productions and Drew Gibadlo of Downstairs Studios on this (Otherwise known as the Kuldesac Kids :P ) and with the other actors as well. Casi is a delight as well to work with! I hope the trailer inspires you to purchase her book when it comes out on amazon.com as well as local bookstores!

Anyways, here is the trailer! I'm pretty proud of the work done by all. It turned out great. :)

Check yes or no.

2011-05-17T19:47:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else noticed how much more difficult relationships are now that we are adults? Even the overall "courting" process is so much more complex and confusing, no wonder I've been single for about a year. And with the advent of social media, it's become more perplexing than ever before. Even something as simple as a facebook "like" can incite questioning and wishful thinking. I admit it, sometimes I long for the simplicity of young romance, back in the days when you knew someone liked you simply by the fact that they chased you, or they check-marked the box "Yes" on your crinkly, scribbled note that you wrote on the bus.

In elementary school things were so easy. While the definition of "dating" meant that you tended to sit next to each other at lunch or simple that you acknowledged the others' presence, it was still a huge rush when the person you like fancied you as well. Looking back on it, it seems so humorous- but back then it was all we knew.

Fast forward to the abysmal post-college dating scene. I look on my life and wonder- HOW is it that I'm so unsuccessful to get a guy to ask me on a legitimate date? Like, I see so many people around me engaged, married, in serious relationships, with boyfriends, etc. and I just wonder why it's so hard for me. I mean, I'm a somewhat attractive girl, right?! I take care of myself! I have nice teeth! I have a degree!

But I'm constantly playing the "should I text? should I wait a day? should I wait for him to text first? Have I liked too many statuses in a row?" game and it's a vicious cycle because I suppose even if they are interested- I'm SO worried about coming off as too clingy or what have you that maybe they just take that as a sign that I'm NOT interested. (At least that's what I tell myself.)

Or maybe I've set my standards too high? I mean one of my new requirements for someone that I will date is that they have to be as fast-paced and driven as I am. I mean, I need someone that can keep up with me and that can perhaps even challenge ME. I just don't have it in me to act as a sort of mother-figure- to drag someone along through their lives and try to give them direction. I've done it, it's not something I'm good at, and it just ends up badly for both of us in the end. I've got so much going on in my life that I need someone that can keep me on my toes, but it's just so hard to find! And while I have come across guys with that necessary quality- I'm just finding it so impossible to turn it into anything concrete, as much as I would like to. I'm never going to be that girl to force myself on anyone and if I get even the slightest indication that they are uninterested, I immediately back away. Maybe I read too far into things and back off too soon? Who knows.

I just feel like I've reverted, or entered this state where I'm undate-able. Like, all I want is to date someone where I won't be expected to spend every waking moment with them, but that after really hectic days I could snuggle with and just sit and do a puzzle, or someone that will make me get up early to go running. Or that would surprise me with a date night to see a show at the Fox or something.

I mean, I think I'm a good catch! I'm probably as genuine as you can get, I am emotionally stable, I graduated top of my class, and can cook! haha. But I guess you just can't force anything. There's a time and a place for things to fall into place. But as much as I enjoy and have needed to be single this past year, I feel like it would be nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of and to have as a companion, now that I actually have time for something like that.

I've just lost all ability to read guys' heads. And I'm too much of a chicken to outright ask anything so my "romantic" life is nothing but a state of disillusion, essentially. A constant flow of "what does that mean?" "I have no idea how he feels!" and "He's so confusing!" runs through my head when it comes to guys nowadays and I just feel so lost! But it's whatever. I'll be single until makes everything make sense, I suppose :)

We really like the looks of this TV.

2011-05-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

Just got back from my first day of training at Dolce! It is apparent that it is a much more laid-back and pleasant atmosphere to work than my previous serving job, for sure. Not to mention between me and 2 other girls, they prepared us NINE full-size pasta entrees for us to taste test. Oh yeah and a full-size tiramisu and cappucino at that. So that was nice! :) I train all the rest of this week, and will be eating more free food at that, I'm sure. Which I can always appreciate.

In other news, the TV reviews I did for lcdtvbuyingguide.com are finished and up on Youtube! I had a great time on the shoot. I felt so super professional in my glasses and business-wear :P

Be sure to check out the company's facebook page here and support!

an evolution of love

2011-05-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

I've started a Tumblr!
No, that does not mean I am abandoning this blog- I just decided that the functionality of Tumblr melds better with my new blog concept that I'm starting about loving your body and positive self image, something that I've struggled with for years. I've decided it's time for me to stop this vicious cycle and possible help others in the process that go through the same things that I go through...

Check it out here!

It's overrr!!!

2011-05-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

Well, folks- I did it. I am officially an alumni and graduate of Columbus State University!

Naturally, it feels a little odd but moreso it's extremely exhilarating to be free from the confines of academic life. I mean, I have been taking classes during the summers and Maymesters as well, so it's like I literally have not ever gotten a break from school! It is truly a liberating experience, especially now that I'm free to really pursue the things I want to.

So what's been going on with me lately?

Well, right now I'm temporarily living with my wonderful friend Summer who is an angel for allowing me to reside there as I begin working. This past month I've been going back and forth from Columbus to Atlanta job-hunting, interviewing, auditioning, etc. and it's so nice to now have a home base right smack dab in Atlanta. I mean, Atlanta's been treating me very well lately, I must say!

My first official day out in Atlanta I landed my "real" job that I so desperately needed. Technically I pretty much had the job at On the Border, but I really knew that I wanted to work somewhere that I could make more money, preferably in an upscale environment. Well, I had an interview at Dolce Enoteca , an Italian restaurant in Atlantic Station yesterday and ended up getting hired right then and there which was wonderful!This place is gorgeous and I'm super excited. I start training next week!

On top of my real job that I'm super excited about- I have as of right now (I will hear later if I get another for another show) but I have a callback for Thoroughly Modern Millie at the Atlanta Lyric Theatre! I'm so happy because there were a LOT of people that auditioned, and I would literally...kill.....to be Millie. I mean, I just love the show and the music so it would be absolutely amazing to get that. I'm gonna go rock it out at this audition and show 'em what I got!

Yesterday was a successful networking day. Now, more then ever, I'm seeing really just how important networking is. And yes, everyone says that, but REALLY....it's true! Always have business cards on hand because I've given out more cards in the past few weeks or so than I ever have. I mean, I literally had a chance to network and meet a photographer while I was in Sephora and we exchanged information.

Later that day I had the opportunity to do make-up for a TV pilot show with my friend Jonathan at Acosta Productions in union with Pinon Tree Productions and Bright Forest Productions that is going to be pitched to stations such as Turner Classic Movies and AMC. It's called Back Alley Classic Movies (NOT to be confused with Back Alley Strut! :P), and is essentially a talk show based on old film-noir type movies where there are hosts who talk about the details of the movie before and after, including a Q and A session with the live studio audience. It was actually pretty interesting. Even though I just did make-up, I had the chance to meet with directors/writers and the like who are casting films and such and who now know me as an actress as well as a make-up artist.

The other film projects I've been working on such as Wingless Butterfly and Back Alley Strut are currently in or are soon to be in post-production. I will be sure to post some clips whenever I get the chance! :)

I should be starting filming for the football talk show that I'm a part this Sunday actually. I'm a tad bit stressed, as I need to catch up a bit on some football so I can jump in at pivotal moments, haha, but it IS scripted. So, that's always nice :)

I'm also excited because I received my first submission notice from my agent! While I was not actually selected to audition by the client, it was still an exhilarating experience and really solidifies it for me.

It's a little crazy because I already feel like I'm playing the juggling game- trying to work with the training schedule for my new job in addition to the other projects and callbacks I've got going on is a little overwhelming, but I know it will all work out just fine in the end, it always does.

I'd rather be having to deal with conlicts than nothing going on at all!

I'm so grateful for all these opportunities I've been given, and feel extremely fortunate to have some great roots planted already and to have such wonderful people help me out. Even though I've been spending gas money out the wazoo, and those last few weeks of college were super stressful and I'd been lacking a social life, it seems to all be paying off now.

I feel like I'm right where I need to be. And that feels nice. Just got to get my own permanent apartment and I'll be set!

It's almost over...

2011-05-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

I graduate in literally ONE. WEEK. AHHH!!!

I'm beyond excited about this fact, I must say.
Of course, things are still a bit crazy around here, this past weekend I was a bridesmaid in one of my best friends from high school's wedding, and I also filmed a book trailer for a new book called Wingless Butterfly by Casi McLean that is being released soon. It was so much fun filming it and it is so nice to start being a working actor! :) Working on a film set is so unique and cool, while I love theatre, I can see myself doing alot of film work as well, definitely. It's been nice that I've been given the opportunity to actually do some real acting as opposed to just cheesy commercial type stuff, too. I'll be sure to post the trailer once it's done with editing!

Also, you can check out some behind-the-scenes stuff from Back alley strut here. MUCH more stuff to come with that, so be on the lookout :)

Another thing- I'm now officially signed with Legacy Talent Management! I sound so official.:) Tomorrow I've also got an interview at Houstons' which is a super nice restaurant in Atlanta. Keep your fingers crossed that I get that job! While I already have On The Border as a back-up, it's only for hostessing/catering and I know that I will make so much more money as a server in an upper-class restaurant. If I get that job, than I will literally be set. Still have to figure out living situation stuff, but I know it will all work out, it always does :)

I'm just generally excited about life and what is to come. Graduation is so close I can taste it. I'm done with all my classes and only have one exam to really worry about, so all is well! Tomorrow I'm meeting with the Talent Network, interviewing at Houston's and finishing up some scenes for the Wingless Butterfly trailer. On the 7th I'm filming a commercial, and also auditioning for the Atlanta Lyric's season. In the midst of that I'm packing, cleaning, and preparing. I'm ready!!

This is my life, living up to my blog title.

2011-04-27T21:41:00.000-07:00

Crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.
Those of you that know me know that lately I've been ALL over the place, super busy and somewhat elusive...
I've got alot of really fun projects in the works and the timing of everything is lining up quite nicely with graduation which is exciting.
So what's going on with me? Well first of all, I've recently begun landing some film bookings by freelancing alone which is nice!
       This past weekend I actually started filming pilot webisodes for a new indie film called Backalley Strut, directed by a a friend of mine who owns a production company in Atlanta. He and a friend of his have been working on the script for years and are finally at the right time to make it happen. I play the Barmaid, which is actually a supporting role and have a really juicy scene where I narrate the goings-on of a shooting and such as it plays out!
       But anyways, what we are doing is releasing it in 4 webisodes in order to get financial backing (There are apparently already investors interested in backing it up- we just needed to film something to show first!) and then once we have that, we will begin filming the entire movie over the summer. An of course financial backing means the actors get paid too, so that's always nice! :) This past weekend we were on location in Savannah and St. Simon's Island, and the whole process was so much fun! Since it is being produced by an actual production company, it's pretty good quality and I'm super excited for it to be released soon! I was excited to work with some very talented actors and network. You will definitely hear more about it- we have an entire social media marketing campaign including a website that will give more information as it comes. So stay tuned on that!

     I mentioned this earlier, I believe, but I shot for lcdtvbuyingguide.com this past weekend and it was alot of fun, actually. I got to wear my glasses and be all official and talk about TV's and play with the HP Slate which is kind of like a Windows version of the iPad. (It's really not that great though as you will see in the review!) I read off of cue-cards, which seems like it's totally easy, and it is on shots where its just straight-up talking, but when you have to mess around with the item and then read off the cards at the same time it can get tricky. Especially because I was only given the script the night before :P But at any rate, this is going to be a nice ongoing little gig that is pretty low-stress and actually alot of fun believe it or not!

Another project I have going on is doing a commercial for a local Atlanta based television show. Yes, it is FOR a show. But I'm pretty sure that I will actually be on the show itself as well based on the audition situation and other factors. But get this- it's for football sports reporting. Thank God there is a teleprompter, haha! But they made it clear that for the girl's part in this show, it's more about jumping in and being funny than really knowing millions of details about football. I mean, it's also scripted so it's not like I would be completely lost! I shoot the commercial on May 7th, and I'm sure I'll find out more solidified info soon.

I'm also doing a book trailer on Friday with the same production company as Backalley Strut- (They recently did the music video for a new song featuring Ruben Studdard of American Idol fame) which I just actually found out about. It's going to be crazy because I have to start shooting at 8...then I have to finish by at least 3:30 PM and then rush back to Augusta for Brooke's wedding rehearsal. The next day is Brooke's wedding, in which I am a bridesmaid, then Sunday I have final dress for this sound design show I'm doing which his going to be completely ridiculous.... needless to say I have a LONG weekend ahead of me again but I'm so excited to be landing some paid acting work and expanding my work into film so soon! It's definitely alot different than stage work, but it's actually pretty fun and rewarding too- just in different ways! It's nice to be doing something beyond extra work, too which had really been my only experience in film before recently.

   So, The other day I received a call from an agency in Atlanta that was interested in representing me, which was super exciting and I meet with them next week to interview! However, come to find out, after talking to some people who know more about Atl agencies and have networked with more people in film/commercials/modeling and such- apparently this agency is not really the best one, and the owner has been known for some shady behavior. There is just a general dissatisfaction with the agency for the most part, although I have heard of success in the voiceover division. At either rate, it's an exclusive agency, which means I wouldn't be able to do any of the freelance stuff I'm doing now really, and then it's a 2 year contract which is a little long in my opinion. I'm going to still meet with them- but I definitely will not sign anything off the bat. Essentially I was advised to hold off on signing an exclusive contract until it is with a more reputable agency, especially with the other reputable non-exclusive agencies that will work to get me jobs while at the same time allowing me to pull in my own work which I seem to be doing pretty well at this point in time! I definitely don't want to do anything that seems like it would not be in my best interest, and I literally haven't even graduated yet- so I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to get signed with an agency I have absolutely no doubts about.

        However- the good news is that there is a newer agency, Legacy Talent NC based in Wilmington, N.C. that is going to represent me! The great thing about them is that they are non-exclusive, and I've heard nothing but great things about them from people whose advice I trust, as well as sites like Backstage.com and other actors on message boards and things like that. So that is definitely exciting. :) I think that will actually work out much better for me in the long run than signing my life away on a 2-year contract for a company that I feel a bit uneasy about. But like I said, I still am going to meet with them and find out for myself, as I mean it definitely is a legitimate agency, but if it's the best one for ME, well that's still to be figured out!

On top of filming, auditioning/ etc., I've been busting my butt trying to find a legitimate "real people" job. Thankfully, I am 99% sure I have a job at On The Border in Buckhead hostessing/catering! I've been through 2 stages of the interview process already and I just need have the final interview whenever I move, apparently. However, it's a little frustrating because I kind of need the job before I can sign a lease on an apt...ha. But I'll figure it all out! I'm also going to interview at a fancy shmancy restaurant that a couple of my friends that are already graduated work at and I've been told that I would easily get hired. That interview is next week. I'm actually hoping that I end up getting that job because I would make way more money serving at a fine dining restaurant than hostessing at a chain. But a job is a job and I need anything at this point. I've applied and interviewed at other places, too but I'm really thinking it's one of those 2 places that I'll be working at!
        I'm also going to be auditioning for the Atlanta Lyric Theatre next weekend which is doing plays such as Thoroughly Modern Millie, Gypsy, and A Little Night Music! It's really a great season and it would be absolutely AMAZING to be contracted for their season. But we'll see what happens with that.
Oh yeah and I'm in a wedding this weekend! And I have finals! And a radio show to do on Monday! Ay.
       While I'm completely busy right now, it is really exciting to finally graduate. And especially because I feel like all my hard work that I've put in is finally starting to come through and I see my career taking shape, which is exciting! I'm telling you, these last 2 weeks are going to be so amazingly hard to get through. Graduation is SO CLOSE and it's so exciting to be in a new place soon, with a new environment, people, and experiences. I just feel like I've been going nonstop, cramming in homework, not having much of a social life, spending hours upon hours looking up castings, networking, building up my modeling portfolio, etc. and it feels like things are falling into place. It's weird, because I feel like I should be a little scared at least, or feeling sentimental about leaving- but to be completely honest, I am just so ready to leave. That's that. I feel stifled and suffocated here right now and I just have put complete faith in myself that things will work out the way they're supposed to! And I honestly believe that things will work out. Like, even though I don't technically have an apartment yet, I know it will come together! Things always do! Alot of situations tend to fall into place with no problems for me because I just believe that they will. It's the law of attraction, of which I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE believer in. It's all about the power of positive thinking, and constantly having your mind on your goals and not worrying about the details of how they will come about. If you literally believe it will happen, and you are disciplined and willing to put in the work to make it be, then there is no reason for you to get what you truly desire out of your career and life in general. You have to literally "block" negativity out of your train of thought. It's become a thing where if I catch myself thinking a negative thought or think about a pessimistic "what if" situation I consciously stop myself. You have to! I've come across alot of "I always think of the worst that will happen in every situation" types of people and you know what? They usually get themselves into the craziest, difficult, and awful situations. I think one's mindset is so extremely important and I have no doubt it had something to do with it!

        And I know that I definitely do NOT have all the answers or am just the pinnacle of success or what have you, but I think that I've accomplished enough to prove that the power of positive thinking and having faith in yourself and in what you want out of life is a completely valid notion. I sincerely recommend everyone read the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. It seriously alters the way you think, in the best of ways. And no, it's not some crazy New-Age philosophy- it is really simple. The law of attraction. Visualization. Positivity. Just go read it!

Sites that I check DAILY for work and that I recommend:
The Southern Casting Call
Model Mayhem (I have gotten paid modeling AND acting gigs form here!)
NowCasting
Craiglist - Before you scoff- companies that are not familiar with the agency/acting world but that need actors for projects use this site! That's how I got my reviewing gig. But be careful- I submitted for this "dating show" and met with someone who turned out to be a creeper. I'm not sure of the legitimacy of the whole thing. Nothing happened in our meeting, but later on he started texting and sending me weird messages so that is that. You just have to chalk things up to experience but always be careful! But you're bound to run into some characters anywhere you go. Just always be on guard!

On Facebook (Most of these are for extra/stand in work, but occasionally you get calls for very featured extra roles or small speaking parts!:
Extras Casting Atlanta
Last Looks Casting
Bill Marinella Casting
Cherrix Casting
Extra Bad Group

GIRL, GIMME DEM DIGITS!

2011-04-22T19:10:00.000-07:00

Now, I'm all about "seizing opportunities" or what have you- but what is it about guys that they think that after not even talking to you at all, they can ask for your number out of the blue and expect a positive response? Am I the only one that is extremely turned off by this?

The annoying thing is, it's always with guys that are the opposite of what I would actually date- the "gangster" immature fast food workers, the middle-aged men, or the super-cocky, arrogant meatheads.

Whatever happened to striking up clever conversation? Personally, just RANDOMLY asking a girl for her number just because you think she looks cute is completely impersonal, and just annoys me instead of flatters me. It seems to come across as forced: "Oh, here is a girl I find attractive. I need to ask for her number in the slight chance that she may agree before I lose my chance."

Now maybe I'm just really shy and don't know how to approach guys really, but if I see a guy that I think is attractive, I'm not going to force things to come together. Either something will happen that will create a natural conversation between us, or I will come up with a clever way to introduce myself or break the ice. (The latter rarely, if ever, happens as I'm incapable of being clever unless I'm forced to be. And I'll never force myself on my own terms because I know I'll probably end up saying something completely stupid.) But if we never end up actually meeting, I just chalk it up to "that wasn't meant to be."

I mean, even if a guy is the pinnacle of attractiveness to me- if he just comes up to me randomly and asks for my number, I still probably will be wary in giving it to him. I'dbe skeptical. I just think the whole ritual is completely asinine and dumb to be honest! Now, if he makes a funny comment on a book I'm looking at in a bookstore, or playfully insults my drink order at Starbucks, that's another story. I mean, it shows the tiniest bit of effort, and that goes a long way!

The trouble is, it's never the guys I think are attractive that have ever asked for my number. No, it's always those guys that are on the complete opposite polarity of desirability that feel as if they are the answer to my prayers.

Meh. At least I finally figured out that lying and saying I had a boyfriend was an effective repellant towards this attack. It makes me seem like the noble girlfriend for denying their approach, instead of having to awkwardly say how I don't like to "give my number to strangers," and have to scramble for different variations of saying so as I try to maneuver my way through a barrage of desperate attempts on the guy's part, making them feel embarrassed. Sure, it's lying, but at least it's saving both of us humiliation and it just seems to nip it in the bud.

Now here's the question: do many girls actually respond to this? I mean, they'd have to, if guys continue to do it on a daily basis. I just can't even fathom giving my phone number to a guy I've spoken maybe one word to and picturing any sort of relationship forming from such.

Maybe I'm just too skeptical or am asking too much. Girls- what do you think? Do you agree with this or am I just cold-hearted?!

Progress!

2011-04-13T15:26:00.000-07:00

So As You Like It is over, which marks the last rehearsal process of my college career basically. Not accepting a role in the One-Acts or doing alot of dances for Dance Extravaganza this year was probably one of the best decisions I've made. It feels weird in a way but I'm going to be spending these last couple weeks preparing for graduation and my real life. Here is my checklist of things I need to get done:

Get a Job. More than likely some sort of full-time "survival" job that I can start immediately so that I can pay the rent! I'm planning on going to apply at restaurants and places like that these next couple weekends.
Get an apartment. I have a place in mind,the thing is- I can't secure the apartment until I get a job so I can let them know that I'll be able to make the payments which is annoying. So, the sooner I get a job, the sooner I can get the apt.! Good thing I have a home base I can stay in for a few days or a week or so until I get my own place if need be. I'd rather move directly from Columbus to Atl though, so I'll try to do whatever it takes to make that happen for sure!

I feel like I should add more to this list but honestly that's all I really ABSOLUTELY need to get done. Of course I should be networking and looking for modeling/acting work but I'm already doing that. Speaking of- I have some pretty cool and exciting things coming up:

I've got a paid modeling gig on Friday! It is for a waxing salon's website and print ads and possibly a car wrap. (Yes, there may be a car riding around the Atlanta area soon with my face on it, haha!) Even better- it's a retro pin-up girl/Bettie Page type theme which I love, of course! So that's pretty cool
I'm now going to be doing on-camera reviews of plasma TV's and tablet PCs for the websites http://www.lcdtvbuyingguide.com/, www.plasmatvbuyingguide.com, and http://www.tabletbuyingguide.com/. This is paid work, too which is nice. But yeah I'm essentially going to be filmed giving in-depth reviews of the items for use on the websites, which are pretty high-traffic and one of the highest ranked on Google and such. So major exposure for me and monetary compensation as well. Technology is only getting better and better and more products keep coming out so the nice thing about this is that it is a job that keeps on going. Of course, it depends on how much they like me ;) I start filming my first review on the 22nd!
I got cast in a pilot for an original screenplay that is being put on by an Atlanta production company that produces commercials, music videos, etc. in the Atlanta area and have had some of their videos on MTV2!. I film in Savannah on the 24th. It's not paid initially but once it is financially backed by investors and clients it will turn into paid work for me. So yay on that!

I'm of course still working on getting an agency- but I have found that if you know how to network, meet people, and respond to casting calls and basically constantly put yourself out there, you will be surprised at the opportunities! Work is definitely out there. Some websites that have helped me so much are www.modelmayhem.com, the Southern Casting Call (http://excoboard.com/THESOUTHERNCASTINGCALL), Craigslist (believe it or not!) And "Like"ing casting FB fan pages such as Extras Casting, Last Looks Casting, Bill Marinella Casting, etc. While most of the calls are for extra work- sometimes it can turn into featured extra work or a small role. I got called to go to an audition through Extras Casting once, so it is definitely possible.

But anyways, it's just a nice feeling to feel like things are coming along slowly but surely. :)

I need your help!

2011-04-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

Okay. I have a couple things that I want people's opinions on.

1.) I have been toying with the idea of dying my hair darker like this:

As opposed to the way my hair is now, which is not terribly different, I know- but it's more of a reddish brown:

It would be a way of sort of "re-marketing" myself. I think I look more exotic with darker hair because of my light eyes, and it may help me stick out more in piles of headshots, or in my modeling portfolio. (This question is both from an actor and modeling standpoint so I want opinions from both!) For reference- I HAVE had my hair pretty dark like that before, but it was a different look altogether because then my hair was cut in this funky kind of way, whereas now my hair is longer and more feminine. Also, my hair was pretty damaged at the time, coming straight from blonde hair so it would definitely look much better this go-round if I did! Also, if I decided to go dark, it would be very easy to keep up since my hair naturally is brunette, and I could probably do it from home. Here is a picture of me when I used to have it dark: Another thing to note is that I will be getting tanner now that summer is coming, whereas in this photo I am pretty pale? haha. Anyways. I just thought that because I'm going to be getting new headshots whenever I move to Atlanta and things that I should make this decision soon if so. So just let me know what you think! :P

2.) As some of you may have noticed...I like to be present in the social media/internet world, and I wouldn't say I'm trying to market myself as a "brand" per se- but I do alot of things. Acting, modeling, blogging, etc. So I'm thinking- instead of bombarding all of my facebook friends that may or may not care to see photos from shoots or what have you with pictures, should I create a facebook "Page?" Alot of models/actors have them and I was thinking it may be a good way to keep followers up to date on little things relating solely to career-related things as well as post shoots and what not. I don't know. It's something I'm toying with, but I am aware that it may seem a little self-indulgent. Howeer, it could also be an easier way to network with photographers and such without having them privy to my personal facebook necessarily. I don't know! What do you think? Would you "Like" it? Would that seem pushy to ask? Is that weird? I need to know!

muh.

2011-03-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

I don't know why- but I've felt very emotional lately. As in, just really in touch with my emotions and more volatile than I usually am which is weird. I don't know why specifically. Just little things affect my mood than they usually do and I hate it!

I feel lately as if I have alot of pressure on me and sometimes it just feels overwhelming. And it's like once I finish one thing- I move right directly into the next without a break. For example- I finished my Sr. Acting Recital (woo!) But now As You Like It goes into tech after tomorrow's rehearsal and it's just CRAZY to think about...and today was a horrible rehearsal for me. I was completely in my head the entire time and kept flubbing lines and even completely forgot one- it was super embarrassing because this never happens to me! I'm not sure where my mind was, but it seemed as if alot of people were having an "off" day as well. Ugh. I just hate myself because I just feel like I need to be perfect at everything which is a frustrating feeling.

I don't know why I put so much pressure on myself! At times like this it really weighs down on me, though. I just feel like certain mistakes are just unacceptable when in reality I should give myself some slack.

In other news...I have found myself feeling kind of a little bit lonely? Which really doesn't make sense as I have NO time to even entertain the notion of a relationship of ANY sort... but idk. I just feel like sometimes it would be nice to have some sort of support and somebody to just do sweet things for me and that I could do sweet things for, you know? I just start to wonder if I'm really capable of a relationship anymore and I know I've said this before, but it is a scary thought. I get frustrated sometimes because lately whenever there is a guy that I AM interested in- I am not taken seriously and things just don't work out, but it's not ever because I haven't made the effort. Maybe I subconsciously stop things before they develop, who knows. I just feel like such a walking contradiction because I really love being single, and independent, and not having anyone to answer to- but it at times it does get lonesome and wearisome always being the strong, independent, somewhat bitter girl.

I just think my social life as a whole is very much lacking.
I feel like I never make an effort to really hang out with people and just come home after rehearsal/class and work on things in my bedroom. But I'm just kind of like- if I have anything that I feel like I need to get done- I can't allow myself to relax or just hang out with anyone until it's done. Even on the weekends I do this.
Meh.
I think once school is over I will learn to be social again, haha. I just get so wrapped up in the minutia of projects/assignments, and of course I get distracted super easily so everything takes forever for me to finish!

Idk. I'm just in a weird place right now. I just want a break, really.

How to win my heart.

2011-03-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

Apart from the obvious things like 1.) be a good person and 2.) don't be a creeper, there are other perhaps silly ways in winning my heart. None of these are guarantees. But essentially this is just a list of random things that I find extremely appealing in all you male-folk out there. hehe ;)

Goofiness. There is literally nothing more unattractive to me than a guy who tries to come off as having "swagger" or what have you. You know, the jock-y types that try to always seem so tough and hard, boasting about the 10 hours they spent lifting weights or what have you. It does nothing for me. It goes AGAINST you, even. But if any guy is unafraid to be completely crazy and goofy and just do something really out there- you've got more of a chance of winning me over. Because I can't be the only weird one in the relationship!
Glasses. Seriously, if a guy is wearing glasses, 9 times out of 10 he is instantly more attractive. By alot. I don't know what it is about them, especially thick rimmed glasses just get me everytime! It may stem from my strange love for Spiderman/Peter Parker and his adorable dorkiness, hehe. So guys- if you wear contacts but have glasses...you should definitely consider wearing the glasses more often. Because I think they're cute. That is all.
Wittiness. I love word-banter, especially over text-messaging and internet conversations. I spend alot of time on the internet and on electronic devices so I love when a guy can hold his own and be clever in that regard. Having a good vocabulary is also really attractive. Well, I guess smarts in general- but if you have a way with words it helps :) I think it's because I like words as well and I don't like having to explain what words mean, haha!
Adventurousness! I love a guy that's willing to try anything even if it seems odd or out of the box. I love a little adventure and spontanaiety and if a guy is afraid to try some of my "weird healthy food" or doesn't like trying new activities then I'm not sure if you'll be winning my heart anytime soon. I especially want to be challenged myself- I like to be out of my comfort zone so if someone is able to get me to stretch my limits (within reason of course!) Then it's even better!
Stylishness! I love when a guy knows how to dress himself well, it's one of the most attractive things about a guy, honestly. You can take a universaly physically attractive guy with a 6 pack and what not but if he wears things like huge baggy clothes, or outfits made entirely out of camo- it's not going to do it for me. Conversely- you can take a guy who may not seemingly be a Brad Pitt look-alike but put him in a dress shirt, skinny tie/vest, and some slim fitting jeans- and that's someone I'll have my eye on! haha. And it's not even about being dressy really- sometimes just a slim fitting black tee and jeans is the most attractive outfit to me.
Confidence, but NOT cockiness. There's a fine, fine line here that many guys cross. just be confident in yourself! If a girl tells you you are attractive to her, then just accept it, move on- don't question it. Also- don't parade yourself around like you're the answer to every woman's prayer, because I hate to break it to you- but you're not.
Subtletly, not sketchiness. If you are interested, it's obvious (most of the time.) There's no need to bombard me with texts, messages, etc. I get the picture! If a girl is not responsive then just take it as a hint. On the other hand- if you are interested in someone- don't hang out with a girl then completely ignore her for a couple weeks and then keep doing this over and over. It is just confusing, and sketchy, and makes no sense. Make up your mind and go with it. Personally, if I get even the SLIGHTEST sense that someone is not interested in me like I am with them, I completely back off and let them initiate everything. Maybe this isn't normal- but I will never be the girl to chase after a guy because I know I don't want to hang out with anyone who is not on the same page with me.

Now get to it! I expect to see more sharp dressing goofballs with glasses and less cocky jerks who look like they just woke up in the male population! :)

Things I've Learned in College- 1.) Create your Own Opportunities.

2011-03-14T22:53:00.000-07:00

As I'm nearing the end of my college career- I'd love to document some of the things that I learned these past four years that I think will be helpful to others out there.

One of the most important lessons I've learned is that you have to just create your own opportunities in this world.
The bottom line is that things are NEVER just handed to you.
I don't know why people think that's not true, that they can just slide through life and somehow things will just fall into place without any work? I see so many people complaining about their situations in life yet don't do anything pro-active about it. I mean- if you are not going to be the one to create and seize every opportunity given to you- someone else will.

I've learned this first-hand. My very first day of college here in the theatre program was also the first day of General auditions for the Fall season. Me, being unprepared, memorized my monologue a few days before, thinking that I could fly by the seat of my pants and obviously I would get a great part because I had just come from high school where I was the lead in shows for years. I thought I had it in the bag.
WRONG!
I completely bombed! I got through about 3 lines and stammered and stalled, realized I would not be able to finish, said "Thank you," and walked offstage, completely devastated. It was a real low point for me, especially because ALL my friends were cast that first semester. But you know what- I worked my butt off on my next semester's audition package, was super prepared, and then I got cast on tour. Also, when I wasn't cast that first semester I did freestages, directing scenes, and anything I could get my hands on in order to get myself seen and show that I was a hard worker. I did tech work out the wazoo, tons of directing scenes, and freestages galore for the first 2 years of college, in fact. It wasn't until my Jr. year when I realized that I didn't need to break my back in order to gain credibility- although I still worked hard, other opportunities were finally coming into place and I started getting cast in mainstages in good roles more often.

I wholeheartedly believe it was all the small, little things I did the first couple years in college that have built me up to where I am now. (Not that I'm at any sort of utmost pinnacle of perfection or anything, but you get my point!)

And this is not true just in theatre- I believe it can be applied to any field. Every single opportunity, even if it may not seem like it is worth it in the short term is so critical to your success and could be at the very least a learning experience, and at the most could be a vital stepping stone to a much larger project or goal. The important thing is to just not expect things to be handed to you. You have to go out there and make them happen. And if you're not willing to put the work in to make things happen, then there may need to be some re-evaluation on why you are studying what you are studying in the first place. Now I know not everyone is a super work-aholic and anal retentive student like I am, but there is something to be said I think for putting everything you have into what you do. And sure, to some it may seem like I'm taking things too seriously or what have you. But hey. I'd rather take things too seriously and immerse myself in my goals and do what it takes to be successful than to waste my time on frivolousness and regret not doing what I needed to do in order to make my goals and dreams fully realized.

So to all you freshman/sophomores out there especially theatre majors- don't be discouraged if you are not getting cast in everything initially- or if it seems like nobody is noticing your work. Because I guarantee if you stick with it, work hard, take your classes seriously, and are respectful and professional, things will naturally fall into place! Visualize your success- positive thinking is one of the most important things you can do. Worrying about things you don't want to happen only attracts those bad things to happen. Thinking of the worst that can happen in every situation will keep you in a rut of negativity that will take longer to get out of than if you did the opposite and decided how you can make every negative situation a better one and taking advantage of any positive opportunities you come across. And yes, we will all make mistakes, and we all will fail at some point. But all you can do is learn from it and move on. Those who dwell on their failures and incapabilities (which are usually non-existent anyways) will obviously never get where they want to be.

You are in control of what you want. You create your own priorities and opportunities. Don't let anyone ever tell you different or make you feel incapable because we are all able to achieve greatness in whatever we decide to do so just get out there and LIVE. Pursue your passions whatever it may be. Don't let the world pass by you. That's just something I've learned over the past few years :)

The Quirky Veggie

2011-03-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

I haven't been very good about updating my health blog "The Quirky Veggie!"
But now I will be using it in a slightly different way- whereas before it didn't really have a main focus necessarily, I will not be using it as alot of other food bloggers do and posting everything I eat- with pictures! :)

Why would I do this? One, to keep myself accountable, two, to show others healthy vegetarian meals and to lastly perhaps inspire people to continue or start eating healthy!

Keep in mind this is also the place where I may rant about things that seem crazy to others but just bear with me! hehe.

Check it out here!

Sometimes

2011-03-12T21:35:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I facebook stalk.
Sometimes I obsess about my weight.
Sometimes I can be selfish.
Sometimes I am messy.
Sometimes I tell the same stories over and over.
Sometimes I can be indecisive.
Sometimes I can be an uber perfectionist.
Sometimes I can come across as aloof and cold, but I really just don't know the right things to say.
Sometimes I can be too harsh on others.
Sometimes I judge people by how they text and type.
Sometimes I am jealous of others around me.
Sometimes I obsess over not seeming like a "needy girl"
Sometimes I can be too harsh on myself.
Sometimes I hate the way I look.
Sometimes I feel vain.
Sometimes I want to shut myself off from everyone.
Sometimes I want somebody to read my mind and come bring me ice-cream and tell me everything will be all right.
Sometimes I pretend to not see somebody I kind of know because I want to avoid awkward small-talk.
Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much about the things I care about as it would make life easier.
Sometimes I talk too much about other people.
Sometimes I feel really awkward when complimented.
Sometimes I let people walk all over me.

But don't we all?

Revamp!

2011-03-11T14:09:00.000-08:00

As you can see, I lightened up my blog some. You like?
Hope everyone's Spring Break has been coming along nicely.
Mine's been pretty busy- as you can see from my earlier blog entries I had alot of stuff planned! And it has all come along rather swimmingly I must say. Just got one more thing to do and that's an overnight shoot as an extra for MTV's Teen Wolf- it starts at 10 PM tonight and is supposed to go for 10-12 hours...this will be interesting...haha! :P Hopefully I can get some good networking in. That's really the best part about doing extra work anyways as it is usually not quite as glamorous as it may seem (Lots of sitting around, basically.)

I hope they provide us with some energy drinks!

I don't know about you guys but I'm totally not ready to go back to school. I'm just not in a school mindset anymore, especially after being here in Atlanta for this past week. Lots of exciting career-related things happened which I hope come to fruition- but we'll see! :)

Photoshoot- Behind the Scenes!

2011-03-08T14:59:00.000-08:00

http://anniesweettee.blogspot.com/2011/03/spring-time-beauty-behind-scenes.html

Check out this link to a Behind-The Scenes video of a photoshoot I did a couple days ago, made by one of the models at the shoot! (I'm towards the end) I can't wait to see the finished photo from this- the photographer, MUA and hairstylist was amazing. A great team.

Spring Break!

2011-03-03T15:59:00.000-08:00

And so today Spring Break officially begins! :)
I'm currently at Starbucks in Little 5 Points, relaxing before I go see Dog Sees God at Fabrefaction, I have some friends that are working on the show so it will be nice to go see some theatre! :)
Earlier I registered for SETC, and I am starting to get really...EXCITED. It's like, this year I know what to expect and if I continue my track record of getting great results on the second time I do anything- things should go really well. I'm weirdly not feeling that nervous at all- it's like I just want to go rock it out! I'm just hoping most of the companies are still here by Saturday- sometimes they start leaving once they find what they're looking for- but hopefully I'm just perfect for some company out there. (Preferably a cruise line. That's what I really want to do right now haha! Free vacation! Getting paid to sing and dance! Sign me up.)
But I know there is some work for me out there- just gotta go get out and grab it!
After registration, I decided to traverse to Little Five Points- which I love! It's such a kitschy collection of randomness and vintage wonders. I also stopped into Sevananda Natural foods...which is amazing and I'm sure a place I'll be frequenting alot once I move here.

In other news, I've got alot planned this week which is exciting, I love to be in a different environment and just explore and be busy.

What am I doing you ask?
Friday March 4: Preparing my callback audition material. I'm going to be just polishing all my material and prepping for my audition on Saturday.

For those that aren't sure of how SETC works- first you do a minute and a half audition in front of the large room of professional companies. (This is material I've been working on since this past Fall, so I'm very comfortable with it and it's not really THAT nervewracking.)
Once that is done, you go and see what companies called you back. You then must schedule interviews/auditions with these companies and attend them at whatever time you sign up for. The odd thing about it is that this is all taking place in a hotel, so these callbacks are literally taking place in hotel bedrooms. It's super awkward actually. Like, you walk in there, meet a casting director and there are 2 king size beds and a video camera set up. It seems really sketch but the whole thing is very professional and sanctioned by SETC so it's really not- haha it's just the most functional way to have individual auditions with around 100 companies or however many there are. But anyways, in these callbacks most of the time you are asked to repeat your audition material that you did earlier, but they will be taping it for their records, or sometimes you are asked to do something else, like a pop song, or a Shakespeare monologue or what have you. This is what I'm going to prepare! I have a whole book of material, but I feel like I just need to be polishing and working them. I'm glad that I have a full day to kind of relax and really mentally prepare before the big day though!

Saturday, March 5: I have to be at the hotel at 8:30 for a briefing- and then the auditions start! The callbacks can last all day long, and then there is also a dance call at around 5ish if you are asked to attend that. Bring it on!

Sunday, March 6: Today starts the job search! I'm on the look-out for a survival job that I can start working as soon as I move to Atlanta in mid-May. If all goes well, I will have a performance job lined up- but I have to play the waiting game on that. It's always good to have a plan so I just want to make sure I can be financially stable once I move.

Monday, March 7: I have an appointment with ProMove, who helps you find the perfect apartment in Atlanta. It's a pretty great free service (they work through referrals and compensation from the apt. you eventually buy!) and they seem like really great, helpful people. After the meeting I'll be going out and looking at apartments, and then I have a photoshoot with Nai, an Atlanta photographer that I've been meaning to get together with for awhile but just haven't had the time.

Tuesday, March 8: Early in the morning I've got a shoot with Jeff Marsh, who is a photographer in Atlanta as well. This is going to be a Sophia Loren themed/vintage shoot which will be really fun I think! You know me and retro stylings. Love it. After that, you guessed it- more apartment and job-hunting goings on.

Wednesday, March 9: Another photoshoot with Bryant of Shooterfoto magazine- of which I am currently the March cover girl for! :) The magazine is geared towards aspiring models and those working in the modeling industry, and you can order it online. www.shooterfoto.info is the website that you can order it from, and here is the cover:

I have a feature and spread which is pretty neat! It's also pretty cool to see yourself on the cover of any sort of publication. After the shoot, you guessed it- more job searching! I'm actually planning on maybe going to some open-calls for some agencies in the area as well, just have to research when those are.

And that is it as for my planned out days- although I'm hoping to maybe grasp onto some extra work at some point as well and make some money while I'm here. If not, and I feel like my job hunting went successfully- I will probably visit Augusta for a few days since I'm halfway there anyways.

So that's my Spring Break in a nutshell for ya. It's mainly working and preparing for my future, but I'm excited for that. It's hard for me to *just* relax, anyways. I've got to put all my energy into something! Might as well be something productive! Can't wait til I graduate and I don't have to focus my energy onto things like studying for Midterms and projects and the like. Because I feel like I always tend to over-do everything, the perfectionist that I am, and it just carves away at my time but I just feel like I can't slight over anything and do it half-way. Even though I have Senioritis something awful!

One thing I am really excited about is As You Like It, though! I got to try on most of my costume already and have finally seen the renderings- our costume designer has placed it in Napoleonic France (Think: Pride and Prejudice but kicked up a notch- my character is a princess- the daughter of a Duke) and I have the loveliest gown with white lace and ruffles and pink brocade, white gloves and a TRAIN! I feel like such a pretty pretty princess! It is just going to make Celia even more of a diva than she is already, haha! :)

I'll keep everyone posted on the results of my SETC audition- everyone out there in cyber-land keep your fingers crossed for me and the rest of the CSU students auditioning this weekend! Here's hoping to employment for all.

MY WEBSITE!

2011-02-25T14:35:00.001-08:00

I've been working on this website for months- tell me what you think! :)

www.janinedemichele.com

Realizations.

2011-02-24T21:34:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or did Spring and Midterms appear out of thin air? It was like, I went to bed one night, cold, with lingering feelings of Christmas and holiday cookies still in the air and woke up and it was 75 degrees, and I'm right in the middle of the semester. It's....scary. But MORE than scary it is so exciting. It's so close now, graduation. Spring break is coming up and during this time I'll be in Atlanta, job/apt. hunting and just taking care of business. My wonderful friend Liz is providing me with a place to sleep at night so I can stay however long I need which is absolutely amazing. I'm just so over the minutia of college life. I am just weary of alot of things. The classes, mind-numbing theatre practice, the guys- the list goes on! '

One thing that is exciting- The show I've been rehearsing for months now is finally going up tomorrow! Tonight was our final dress, and to be honest it was a little rough. But I feel confident that tomorrow will be great- that is always a common occurrence anyways, that the final dress is bad and the opening is awesome. You've got to have a little dip to create a peak performance! And I'm positive that will happen. However, my knee has been acting up which is weird because I never ever have knee problems. I think it's just the strain of dancing so hardcore nightly. When you see the show you'll understand what I'm talking about- it's intense! But it's so much fun. I'm excited about my mom coming in town on Saturday, too. :)

As You Like It is going well- our offbook date is Saturday, but we were encouraged to be off book the week before so I'm pretty golden. It's great because that was the one thing I was worried about the most- I just knew for some reason I would be struggling with the Shakespeare text and memorization but the funny thing is- I'm actually having an EASIER time with this than with other things I've had to memorize! This show really has one of the most wonderful rehearsal processes I've ever been a part of, even though it's a little bizarre at times. It's hard to explain but we all just have such a cameraderie that I think is unique to this show and the experiences we've all had to go through with it. But I think it's going to come together quite wonderfully and I really love the show and the process so far!

Musings of my Senior High School self

2011-02-23T14:46:00.000-08:00

I was in a nostalgic mood and perusing old myspace blogs again. But this time I decided to read some of my thoughts as a Senior in high school. Interesting seeing as now I'm a Senior in college!

COLLEGE CRAP IS ANNOYING. Juniors and below, relish the time that you have in which you do not have to be constantly plagued by due dates, application forms, auditions, and anxiously waiting on scholarships. ADKJASD. Everytime I turn around there is something else that I didn't realize I needed to do such as today I had to go get shots that I didn't know I had to get, which suspended my application even longer. It's so retarded it's ridiculous. Geez. I will be glad once I am just IN college. (Ah, janine of 4 years ago- just wait until you are about to graduate college and the real world sets in! Scary!)

I know it seems petty, but I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN A PROM DRESS =[
I want to go to the Lennox mall in atlanta and go to Betsey Johnson. Seriously. Or else- Burlap sack, here we come!

I want to do my nails but I can't because concentration camp victims cannot have french tips! Alas it must wait until Sunday.
(I was in a Holocaust show. Go figure.)

I hate winter. I wish it would die. I'm sick of looking like a hobo everyday. I want to wear cute things, but I cannot because of the cold weather, and I'm reduced to wearing the same brown coat with the really loose button that flies around when I walk. That or the wrap sweater which makes me look 10 lbs. heavier.
(Some things never change!)

I just want a day off. A day off from school, from rehearsals, from church, from my parents bugging me about random stuff, from everything. But like my character Erna says, "Isn't it a wonderful fairy tale?"
(Obviously I was always a workaholic.)

On a happier note, I just want everyone to know that I have the pimpest boyfriend ever.
(I'm judging myself for using the word "pimpest." Hardcore.

Throwback photo! This is me as Miss HHS! I still have the crown. it's pretty "pimp" (That is the word I apparently used for every freaking thing in high school.)

And to top off this post: A day in the life of my Senior year of high school self:

"Monday. My cell phone alarm goes off at 6:15, but I keep snoozing until about 6:30 then I shut it off like I'm about to get out of bed, but then I drift back to sleep and wake up about 5-10 minutes later spazzing out because it's late. So I rush, groggy eyed, to the bathroom, take a shower then get dressed and do makeup/hair. Very quickly, I might add. Which usually results in my hair feeling all weird because its straightened while being damp which makes it feel frizzylike. So then I get my lunch together and rush to school to make it on time in Mrs. Weimar's class. French class is a breeze. Then it's drama where Mr. Lewis tells us random things to do that usually don't make any sense. Then AP Lit, which is pretty easy most of the time. Anatomy=easy, then there is art which is an awesome class because I get to paint. Then its alg 3 and then off to the theatre. Rehearsals last until about 5:30ish. Where I now am going to have to rush from school to get to church to put together this children's christmas play. After that I do homework or senior project stuff/ get online and dawdle. Then I have my much needed call to Sean and end up getting to bed later than I need to. Tuesday is a nice day, because I don't have any extraneous activities besides rehearsal. Then Wednesday, I have rehearsal then rush to church to teach my 3-4 year old class. Which is stress in itself. Thursdays, I have to rush from school to ballet at 5, then I have a couple hours to hang out with Sean before our Salsa class at 8. Then it's already Friday. Which is my date night/hang out night, after rehearsals that is. But this weekend is Harlemfest so it's booked for the most part. Somewhere in there I find time to do senior project stuff, read, do my journals for ap lit, attend meetings for the 20398 clubs I'm an officer of, and alot of other crap. Aside from my extreme busyness and stress, my life has been going pretty good. I have the most awesome boyfriend I could ever ask for who helps me out so much, and is 100% supportive in everything I do. I don't know what I would do without him! My senior year has been going relatively well so far, and let's hope this is an ongoing trend.Anyways. I just need to take a day off for myself sometime, I think, I tend to feel overwhelmed sometimes, but its ok. I'll survive!
Ok now I want to go on my soapbox about healthy food: Everyone needs to make sure they get their daily portion of WHOLE GRAINS and WATER a day! Where do whole grains come from? Well, the best form of whole grains are triscuits. They are amazing. I eat them like potato chips. Those and wheat bread. And not the lame wheat bread thats like white bread with brown food coloring. I'm talking about 12 grain bread with the whole seeds. It's so good. And you should drink half your body weight in ounces of water a day. (Here, I"ll do the math: if you weigh 110 pounds, thats 55 oz. of water a day.) And yes, I actually do drink that much water a day. And it helps me survive and makes me feel better and makes my skin clear and GLOWY! =]
SODA AND WHITE BREAD ARE THE DEVILS TOOLSSSSSS
haha
I hate soda and white bread. So much. Especially DIET soda. GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
WATER is the best
I am starting to get delirious.
So maybe I'll stop.
OH and you need your fresh fruits and vegetables a day too! Yum yum!
Ok so everyone promise me you will have at least on eserving of WHOLE GRAINS, FRUIT& VEGETABLES and drink one extra bottle of WATER a day!
And you will feel healthy."

Bahaha. Oh, my Sr. year self.

What's On My Mind?

2011-02-20T21:04:00.000-08:00

I'm proud of myself for stopping biting my nails. They are, dare I say- PRETTY?! Weird. I used to have little boy, chewed up nails. Now they're nice :)
As You Like It rehearsals are so much fun. I never thought I would enjoy Shakespeare as much as I do! I'm loving my role and my part in this fun story and I absolutely love our director. I can't wait for everyone to see the show in April!
I'm also super excited for the opening of In Dreams/Nightmares this weekend! It's been a challenging process and I am doing things I never thought I could do and have really been stretched (literally! :P ) as a dancer, and I am so grateful for this opportunity. I've come a long way from the first rehearsal of "Toxic," where I was so discouraged I thought Robin cast me out of pity because I'm her roommate/best friend...lol.
I'm really excited about my career and life outside of college. It's SO SO SO strange how close I am and how fast this semester is going by- it's by far the fastest of any semester. I think it's crazy that soon I'll be living in Atlanta on my own, away from the safety net of a collegiate atmosphere. I can't wait to have the time to pursue my goals and just really make my mark on this world.
I am feeling really insecure lately about my body and I'm not sure why but I feel like I've been gaining weight? Although I may be the only one who notices. I just literally feel like my weight and body are on my mind probably 75% of the time, and it's so annoying.
I'm literally in love with this weather we've been having lately. It's perfect.
I want to travel. I want to get out of GA and just get on a plane and fly somewhere.
I feel like every day a new person is in a relationship, engaged or married. It's so weird. I've been single for a long time now, probably the longest I've been in years- and have realized that as much as I enjoy being single, I kind of miss a relationship a little bit. Just little things- like being on constant texting terms with someone- or what have you. But things will come in due time. It's good timing anyway- as this is my last semester in college which essentially means..CRUNCH TIME. Can't let nobody break my stride!
I miss having a kitty :(
I want a new pair of jeans.
I have an obsession with Chobani greek yogurt...it's..SO GOOD. Crush some almonds or chop up a banana in vanilla/plain flavor and it's just to die for yummy. I look forward to breakfast every night! haha!

A Personal Update.

2011-02-12T11:56:00.000-08:00

So as you know (if you read my blog) recently I went to Daytona to compete in ACTF. It was tons of fun being by the beach in Daytona! Plus the weather was gorgeous- a nice reprieve from the chilly winter we've been having. (Although it's pretty warm, today!)

But yeah, I didn't get passed on to the finals but it was still a great experience and if anything it was a mini-vacation, a calm before the storm if you will before the craziness that is to come of this semester.

In other theatrical news- As You Like It is FINALLY cast and we have already have some rehearsals which have been a blast so far! I really enjoy working with our director, Jeff Watkins from the Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta. And I'm absolutely loving my role so far- I play Celia who is a princess and is the over-dramatic female co-star of the show. It's going to be really funny, I think! :P

Robin's show, In Dreams/Nightmares is going to be super awesome, too. We're SO close to almost finishing all the choreography finally! (There are 15 songs total. Killer!) But I'm really enjoying the process and it's fun to improve as a dancer as alot of it is pretty challenging. I think the theatre department will be pleasantly surprised at the ability of alot of the cast-members to be honest!

My Sr. Recital is moving on along. It's really more annoying than an enjoyable process at the moment but hey- it's something everybody's gotta do. My pieces are from My Fair Lady and a show called Othello Undercover- and I'm doing the song "I'm a Star" by Scott Alan. Larry mentioned that since my pieces were short I may do another monologue as well...? But I'm not sure about that quite yet!

(Side note: WHY is my apartment so freezing?!) Okay, moving on.

So in other news of my life- I just did another shoot with Bryant from Shooterfoto magazine. I just got some shots back from the last shoot and they turned out pretty cool! They are all original designs by a local Atlanta designer, Ben Almonor:

I'll be sure to post some from the new shoot as they come!

The Single Girl's Guide to Valentine's Day

2011-02-12T11:28:00.001-08:00

So, unless you’ve been living in a world with no access to television or advertising of any kind, it’s obvious that Valentine’s day is coming up. What does that mean for us single girls? Well first of all, it means we get to bypass treacherously long restaurant wait times, obnoxiously huge, fluffy plush dogs, and chocolate of questionable quality that comes with maps. But best of all- it’s an excuse to do whatever the heck we want! Use this day to pamper yourself. At a loss for what to do? Have no fear- as I’ve compiled some suggestions to help you realize that Valentine’s day as a single girl is not as bad as it may seem! (And perhaps even better!)

1.) First of all, you should start the day off with an extravagant breakfast. Stuffed French toast? Nutella crepes? Omelettes? Fruit parfaits? Go scouring the internet for some truly decadent breakfast recipes and eat something divine to start your day off right. You may need to wake up a little bit earlier for this but I guarantee it will be worth it! Gloat to your classmates about how wonderful of a breakfast you ate as they nibble on their dry pop-tarts.

2.) Secondly, use this day to look super cute. If you’re usually a sweats and jeans type of gal, use today to put on a dress and break out the curling iron. Normally don’t wear make-up to class? Throw on some hot pink lipgloss or try a smokey eye just for the heck of it. Got some high heels that you save solely for going out? Wear ‘em. Because today is your day! And if dresses and heels aren’t your thing- then just wear whatever makes you feel the most beautiful and just rock it!

3.) So classes are over, and it’s time to get home. Bubble bath time! Run a steaming, hot bubble bath and fix yourself a glass of sparkling water with a squeeze of lime, or pour a glass of wine/champagne if you’re of age, and just relax. Play your favorite relaxing music in the background for an extra dose of atmosphere. Of course- you’ve also gotta have on a therapeutic face mask while soaking in your bath chamber of luxury. I especially love the Montagne Jeunesse face masks you can buy at ULTA - these $1.99 individual packs are truly glorious and come in different varieties to suit your skin. Use this time in the bathtub to soak, and just relish in being a girl!

4.) Now that you’re all soaked, give yourself a manicure and pedicure in your favorite nailcolor shade. Perhaps get one of those nail-decorating kits and paint something ridiculous on one of your nails, just because you can. It’s Valentine’s day! Anything goes!

5.) One word. Fondue. Melt some chocolate chips on the stove and dip your favorite fruit (strawberries, anyone?) in it while watching a super cheesy movie. You know, that one movie that you feel guilty for loving and would be embarrassed about people knowing you loved so much. It’s gotta be that one. No Oscar-contending emotional historical dramas here- only pure fluff is acceptable for this occasion!

6.) Feel free to include your other single friends to these events and turn it into a party if you wish. Not feeling fondue? Order in your favorite food or get together and cook a gourmet meal. The point is to completely indulge yourself for a day in whichever way you wish.

7.) The day after Valentine’s Day- go to your local CVS and purchase as much half-off V-day candy as you want. Okay, I know what you’re thinking. I’m supposed to be this healthy-eating guru and shun anything with a high calorie count. But there are some days when you just want chocolate, and there are some things that are just too good of bargains to pass up. And the day-after-Valentine’s day chocolates are just one of those things. Plus- who am I to deny a girl, single or not, chocolate on Valentine’s day! But please try to not get those mystery filling chocolates that you need a map to eat. Stick to the good stuff like Lindt, Godiva, and Ghirardelli for some true chocolate bliss. But hey- if mystery mapped chocolates are your thing then by all means go for it.

At the end of the night, realize that being single is pretty awesome, Valentine’s Day or not! In these crazy times where we’re now old enough for our friends to all be getting engaged and married, it can be hard at times, but just realize that these are the only times in our lives to find out who we really are- and just use this time to have fun, pursue your passions, and discover!

A kick-start to eating right.

2011-02-12T11:27:00.000-08:00

Want to get healthy but not sure where to start? Let me help! One of the things that will help you out the most in trying to be healthy is learning to cook. Even those of you that say you can’t- it just takes some practice and spending some time on Youtube tutorials. Don’t sweat it. But some basic skills in the kitchen will allow you to create much more than just Ramen Noodles and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese! And when you cook, you’ve got to keep it stocked with a few basics.

First of all, throw out your butter, Crisco, and lard and replace it with heart healthy olive oil. Also, spices are absolutely essential. Oregano, basil, cumin, red pepper flakes, chili powder, garlic powder, Tony’s seasoning, curry powder, salt, and pepper are the spices I use the most. To create exciting, flavorful meals, spices are the key.Another necessity? Fresh produce. Now before you say, “I can’t afford it!” Hear me out. The key is to REPLACE. Stop buying things like potato chips, cigarettes and Little Debbie cakes, replace it with fresh fruits and veggies and trust me. Your body will thank you immensely, and your health is worth it. It’s all about priority, and I don’t know about you, but living a long life free of prescription medicine and hospital bills is a heck of a priority.

Something else that deserves to be in the trash and not your body is refined white bread. It’s devoid of nutrition, flavorless, wimpy, soft, and essentially turns into a paste in your stomach. Gross! However, a full grain bread such as Ezekiel bread (in the freezer section) or a 15 grain bread is crunchy, flavorful, and can hold up to a sandwich while providing countless health benefits. Wean your way off of white bread by building up to whole grain with other lighter breads if need be- but for your health, I really think it's necessary to throw out the white bread.

So what are the types of things I love to eat? One of my favorites is black bean burgers. For one can of black beans at around $1, you can make about 3 or 4 burgers without the fat, grease, and growth hormones of beef! (Plus not having to deal with raw meat is always nice!) All you have to do is mash them up, mix some bread crumbs, a little flour, and some spices such as cumin, salt/pepper, red pepper flakes, and whatever else you want, form them into patties, and pan-fry them in about 1 tbs. olive oil on medium high heat for about 5 minutes until they’re browned on both sides. I eat them with my whole grain bread as a bun, and top with fresh avocado slices and spinach, or ketchup with curry powder. I love these because they’re so customizable, delicious, and are very filling as well! Another quick and easy lunch idea? Put some oomph in to a blah PB&J with peanut butter and jelly wraps. I spread some natural peanut butter (the Fresh Market makes some amazing fresh peanut butter right in the store that is not too expensive and is super yummy!) and some natural jam or fruit spread on a whole grain tortilla, and roll it up. Pack that up with a banana and you’ve got a filling, portable, and delicious lunch! You can always spruce up Italian night with some whole grain pasta, and adding your own sautéed, fresh veggies to a pasta sauce or make your own! Put some oregano, basil, garlic salt, and pepper in a shallow dish and add some olive oil and you’ve got a lovely dipping sauce for some whole grain bread!

For snacks- munch on fruit- spreading peanut or almond butter on a banana or apple is a nutritious and extremely energizing snack that's healthy and delicious. Or of course hummus with veggies is another great option.

When you feed your body right, it helps in all areas. It prevents cancer and disease, your energy skyrockets, (no need for a midday nap=more productivity in your day!), you can be more focused in class, your skin and hair looks better, you lose weight- and the list goes on. Now nobody’s perfect- and being healthy is a journey. But if you determine to get healthy, it’s the best decision you will ever make, I promise.

Staying Hot...in the Cold!

2011-02-12T11:22:00.000-08:00

Cooler temperatures often bring some challenges when it comes to looking your best! I mean, we have all dealt with the super chapped lips, flaky, dry skin, and the monotony of throwing on the same winter coat day after day. However, just because it’s cold doesn’t mean all hope is lost and we are relegated to a season of alligator skin and clothing boredom! Here are a few tips to keep in mind to keep you looking’ hot all winter long.

When it comes to dry skin, I know, it’s obvious, but moisturizing is key. Even if your skin is usually oily- get a non-comedegenic moisturizer and make sure to apply it to your face morning and night in order to protect your skin from the chilly winds and to keep it glowy and supple. There are lots of affordable moisturizers out there- I honestly use a CVS brand knock-off of Oil of Olay moisturizer and it has lasted me months and months and keeps my skin from drying out. Wintertime also takes a toll on your hands, cuticles, and nails. So in order to combat that, it helps to get an intensive moisturizer for extra-dry skin, slather it on at night and rub it into your cuticles, nails, knuckles and all over your hands, and let it sit overnight. You can do this in the morning as well, for extra moisturizing and protection. Just make sure the lotion has glycerin in it, as it acts as a protective shield for your skin. But the absolute best tip in the battle of dry skin is to stay hydrated. Drink lots of water! I know you may feel beat over the head about drinking water, but this is just another great bonus. I guarantee you will tell a difference.

Another great tip to combat that creepy, scaly, dry skin that you can get on your legs during this time of year is to use a scrub to exfoliate the skin daily. And the best part is you can make it yourself, in your own home! All you need to do is get about a cupful of sugar or sea salt, add about ¼ cup olive oil (not vegetable oil!) and some cocoa butter if you want some extra moisturizing, and mix it together. Use it before shaving and you get the added bonus of a smoother, closer shave. It’s also very customizable- you can pretty much add whatever else you want, some lavender essential oil for a relaxing bedtime scrub, or some lemon juice for extra exfoliation and a citrusy scent.

Do you ever feel like you can’t really express your style in the winter time? Personally I go through that in the winter as I hate to cover up my outfits with a coat 24/7. So in order to combat that, I accessorize, accessorize, accessorize! Winter is a great time to incorporate fun, funky scarves, hats, gloves, etc. to help you stand out in a sea of black pea-coats. One of my favorite things to do is to wear a faux flower on my lapel. You can buy these at stores such as Claire’s or make your own, like I do! Just glue some felt to the back of a faux flower and affix a brooch pin to the back. (You can find these at craft stores.) It’s so simple and cheap to make, and can add a whimsical touch to a boring coat or jacket. You can also find cute vintage brooches at antique stores and arrange them artfully on your lapel instead of flowers if they aren’t your thing.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to wear some bright eye-shadow colors or throw on some red lipstick in order to spruce up your look. Since most of winter outerwear is drab and consists of dark colors, winter is a great time to experiment with colorful make-up! But at the very least- make sure you have some chapstick, as cracked, dry lips are never attractive.\

With these tips, you can brave the cold with confidence. And hey, it’s Georgia- which means that you’ll have some days where it will be 65 degrees anyways! Gotta love the South. :)

It's ACTF time!

2011-01-28T05:12:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited because Tuesday I will be headed off to ACTF!

What is ACTF you ask?

Well, for each production the theatre department puts on, we have an adjudicator which is just another theatre professor from colleges all over the southeast who come and gives us feedback on our production, as well as choosing one student that stood out to them in some way. The director of the show picks another, and those two students compete at ACTF (or, the Kennedy Center American College Theatre Festival.)

We compete in our region- against many other students from other universities, and we have to perform 2 scenes and a monologue with a partner. This year the festival is in Daytona Beach, Florida so that is super exciting!

I feel really good about my material, I am doing a scene from Jason Miller's "Lou Gehrig Did Not Die of Cancer" and a scene from "In The Heights" (it's a musical scene- the end of the song "When You're Home!) As well as my good old tried and true "snowflake" monologue those that have seen my audition packages over and over have come to know well.

Today we are performing our ACTF competition packages in front of the entire theatre department as a sort of showcase type thing- it's a little nervewracking, but I feel really confident in my material and it is exciting to get to show off the hard work we have done.

A student from CSU has actually WON ACTF the past 2 years so needless to say we all feel a little pressure to continue the pattern. (If you win, you go on to Washington, D.C. to perform at the Kennedy Center at a national level.) Winning ACTF entails prize scholarship money, as well as other awards including professional acting jobs! So it's pretty exciting.

But whatever happens- I'm just glad to be able to get out of Columbus for a week and to be in wonderful moderate weather (the temps are in the 60s/70s!) and to just enjoy the experience. I'll keep you posted as to what happens. :)

Taco Bell?

2011-01-25T17:29:00.000-08:00

So, there is a Yahoo article out about the validity of Taco Bell's taco meat and if it in fact, counts as "meat" what with all the fillers and additives they add. (What's more- did you know the USDA standard for a meat product to even be called meat is a mere 40%? Scary, huh?) I know you are probably thinking why I even bothered reading an article based on meat as a vegetarian- but sometimes I like to just observe the general landscape of the populace by reading the lovely reader comments on the bottom. Some of them are downright scary. This one for example:

"who really cares?? i mean it taste good, as far as i am concerned it could be people, just very tasty people lol"

Um....I mean I realize that this guy isn't saying he is going to revert to cannibalism- but I think it reflects a consensus of people that they don't care about what goes into their food, as long as it tastes good... you DO realize that these mega food corporations capitalize on that mentality, right? At the expense of your health? This video proves this point quite nicely:

It's pretty sad.

Here's another comment- which shows the transformation of the food industry (And gives a hint as to how the obesity rate has skyrocketed along with the cancer rates:)

"I worked for Taco Bell for 13 yrs. When I started there, in '89, they did cook their own meat. Which was cooked in a large pan & then a mixture, which we prepared ourselves, was added. Back in, about '95 (or before) it started coming prepackaged so all we had to do was put it in 200 degree water for 30 minutes. So it's coming from the plant partially cooked. Back in '89, also, we use to shred our own lettuce & cheese; use to core, slice & dice our tomatoes & onions & green onions! Now everything is prepackaged."

Oh and here's a lovely sophisticated response:

"Who cares. IF IT IS GOOD, EAT IT."

Hey! You know that in other parts of the worldyour little doggy is treated as a delicacy? Well, to them it's good! If you visited Korea and were served a plate of dog and you objected- you know what they would say? "Who cares. IF IT IS GOOD, EAT IT."

What if we used this mentality in our day to day lives: "You know it feels so good to be on heroin! It's a wonderful high! But WHO CARES?!" "Hey! I'm pregnant! WHO CARES?! At least I felt good!"

Now obviously I'm not against things that taste/feel good by any means...but you get my point. Oh and it IS possible to eat food that is good for you AND that tastes good. I do it everyday! I LOVE to eat. I mean, I look forward to my meals. You think I would enjoy life if all I ate was celery sticks all day? No!

Some More Truly Asinine Comments:

"i don't care what they are made of. they taste good. ever thought that all those extenders that are in fast food are extending your life.?? you should be thanking them."

"I don't care whats in it. I would eat Taco Bell from a skunks A$$."

Bottom Line:

"If people knew what was in all fast foods and processed foods we would all be vegetarians."

Mean Girls 2- a recap.

2011-01-23T19:16:00.000-08:00

Out of morbid curiosity and in the midst of doing other things, I'm watching Mean Girls 2 on abc family. Here's my running commentary/thoughts as it plays.

Why is the girl who is playing the lead so mousy looking? I mean, They plain jane-d LiLo up for the original in the beginning, but I mean she is(was) still a pretty girl. But this girl?! Awkward.
Why is the head "mean girl" dressed like a Limited Too mannequin circa early 2000s?
Tim Meadows must be struggling for work.
"Food Area"?!?!
I'm pretty sure last time I checked, chihuahua's weren't allowed to roam around school lunchrooms.
Since when is "Don't ever look at me again...better yet, don't breathe the same air" an acceptable insult!?
I don't like the timbre of this lead LiLo character's voice.
This scene with the faux LiLo character and her dad is AWKWARD CITY..
FRENCH REVOLUTION THEMED HALLOWEEN PARTY. WHAT?!
Why does this Mandy girl dress like she's perpetually 12?!
I feel like people are unnecessarily mean to this grungy awkward Abby girl.
um..... is this girl being paid to be sad Abby's friend? Awkward plot point. THIS MAN IS WILLING TO PAY FOR THIS GIRL'S COLLEGE EDUCATION so his daughter has a friend. Bizarre.
Kitti-let.
Their social networking platform is strange.
Of course, Mandy is dressed like a 10 year old on Easter Sunday.
"I'm a benevolent dictator."
So...many...ugly..blue..plaid..shirts...
This "lead" girl (I forgot her name because her character is really boring) looks like she hasn't washed her hair in about a week.
Oh wait. I think her name is "Jo"?
The way this girl is hobbling around is awkward.
Um.... this crazy white bearded man named Mr. Winkle?!?! WHAT.
Mandy...is wearing...2 colors of polka dots
Um...why is there a huge plasma video screen replaying this "Jo" character falling down on her bike? Is this necessary? Plausible? No.
Again with the plaid! Ay!
I gotta admit this guy's pretty cute.
This chick's hair is really ugly. I can't get over it!
Why is this 90s esque pop song playing during this awkward kissing scene between perpetually 10 year old Mandy and her boy toy? In her pepto bismo room!?
A photo montage....really? You couldn't have just shown their date like normal?!
Everytime I see the principal I feel sorry for him.
Again with the schoolwide video screen showing all of Jo's life?! This is not normal! Public school systems don't care about your personal lives!
Okay. I'm all for obnoxious flower headbands. But this girl is NOT pulling off this horrible blue flower headband. Can somebody PLEASE fire the wardrobe head for this movie!?
Who sends "Hottest Couple" text messages to everyone in the school?!
......these camo outfits....too. much.
Literally the only thing this girl's dad does is hang out in the garage.
Thanks, cute boy for pointing out the painfully obvious!!
(Okay. So if you haven't guessed by now...this movie..is...awful.)
These colored hair extensions are absolutely horrid. Somebody please fire the hairstylist.
Who just carries ipecac on themselves?!
What is this kid doing with the houseplant?
Okay. So. Since when do horrible blended synthetic neon hair extensions make you instantly invincible?!
This blonde girl is unnaturally slutty.
Why does the 'Jo" girl think that all of a sudden she can pull off denim hot topic dresses like she's fashionable or something?!
Um...THE BLONDE GIRL LOOKS LIKE A CHIQUITA BANANA.
I wish I got paid $50,000 to be a girls friend! And then some spare cash for books! (Unreasonable circumstancessss)
I see leggings as pants...unnacceptable
Mandy's boyfriend's hair looks like plastic Ken-doll hair.
um.....a powderpuff football challenge?!
General note: the writing for this movie leaves much to be desired.
When did Jo have time to come up with creating Abby's portfolio FOR her?!
Again with the photoshoot montage!
The word awkward continually pops up in my brain.
"Football is a religion, and you are now in church." WHAT.
I'm still trying to grasp how this powderpuff football game is the crux of the story.
Look at them GA pine trees! Obviously this was not filmed in L.A.!
I enjoy how EVERY single audience member at the football crowd received this HD video on their smartphone.
this slow-mo scene. so. ridiculous.
this homecoming crowning ceremony is very anti-climactic.
flower accessories are grossly over-used in this movie. Coming from me....that's saying alot.
....swine flu is not valid anymore
Jo is an incognito inventor and raised her money for college by selling birdhouse/spycams? Deus ex machina!!

Okay. So. I watched the entirety of this movie. I'll never get these 2 hours back. Sad thought. It was truly awful but I felt like I had to watch it for some reason. Mean girls is just not something that needs a sequel! Seriously!

LISTS

2011-01-23T17:51:00.000-08:00

My day is dominated by lists. I literally make a detailed list every single night of what's to come for the next day- and often times I do several days at a time to make myself feel better (yet I always revise it nightly.) There's something satisfying about just getting everything down on paper that I need to get accomplished- and living my life by a set schedule is the only way I get anything done it seems. But today I feel like making lists of just random things for fun. Enjoy!

I like people who...

Inspire me.
Emanate positive energy.
Are not afraid to be themselves.
Are not afraid to be a little weird.
Aren't lazy.
Are open-minded and non-judgmental.
Make an effort to brighten someone's day instead of bring them down.
Are grateful.
Are creative.

I like guys who...

Are a little bit nerdy/dorky.
Know how to dress and groom themselves
Are a little bizarre.
Are proactive with their lives.
Are artistic in some way.
Are adventurous and willing to try new foods/places/things.
Care about their health and well-being.
Wear glasses.
Are goal-oriented.
Don't try to act "macho."
Know there's more to life than football and steak.
Who realize that revving their car engines next to me makes them look retarded.

My favorite foods of the moment:

Guacamole
Pita Bread sandwiches with cucumber/tomato/onion and hummus
homemade hummus
Lara Bars
Clementines
Frozen fruit.
Veggie spring rolls
Cucumbers in general
Almond Butter
Steel-cut oats with agave nectar, crushed almonds, and banana
Spinach

My Guilty Pleasures

Chill frozen yogurt
Jell-O pudding snacks
Wasting hours on Youtube
Techno dance music
Britney Spears
Zumba class
Hello Kitty paraphernalia

Things I'm thinking at any given moment

"I want Chill!"
"What am I going to eat for lunch/dinner?"
"I hope my jury goes well on Friday!"
"I'm so stressed out!"
"I wonder what it would be like to have a normal social life."
"Graduation is going to be glorious!"
"Only (insert number) days until the weekend! Oh wait. I have rehearsals/homework to do all weekend. Oh well. [Refer back to 5th bullet point]."
"I wish my (face,stomach,thighs,butt) were smaller."
"I wish I was on a relaxing beach right now."

Dream Roles:

Nina in "In The Heights"
Eliza in "My Fair Lady"
Cathy in "The Last Five Years"
Belle in "Beauty and the Beast"
Marcy in "I Love You Because- a Modern Day Musical Love Story"
Glinda in "Wicked"
Anita or Maria in West Side Story

Random things I want to do in my life

Travel all over the world.
Perform on a cruise ship
Host lavish dinner parties frequently
Be a jazz lounge singer in a 40s tribute style
Walk on a red carpet at a movie premiere

Things that annoy me

Laziness
incessant coughing
babies and toddlers
Applebees
driving
unpreparedness
being attacked for no reason
the FDA
the medical industry
the food industry
being hit on stupidly
pumping gas
redneck southern culture
closed-mindedness
judgmental people
when people are contrary just to be contrary

Things that make me feel awkward:

meeting someone in a public place that you kind of know but not well enough to have a meaningful conversation with
being asked for my number
babies/small children
exes
talking on the phone
maintenance men coming in my apartment randomly

Eh. I'm done for now. I like listing things so perhaps I'll have more lists in the future!

New beginnings

2011-01-13T05:20:00.000-08:00

So the New Year and new school semester is underway! Today is our third day of classes, and honestly, I am very pleased as my classes definitely do not seem like they will be hard at all. The hardest/most time intensive class will probably be Theatre History, which is alot of work- but nothing I haven't done before. Then I have sound design, which is based on design projects involving sound, which will be kind of fun I think, especially as I don't have to do a One-Act! That definitely was stressing me out. But since there aren't actually enough One-Acts to go around, some of us were spared! Haha. My only other real class is Intro to Poetry Writing, which I think will definitely be...interesting. There are no tests/quizzes/exams- it's solely a workshop based class, but I have to say it is a little bit intimidating, as I'm a little out of my element. I mean I'm a hugely artistic/creative person and have dabbled in everything from singing, dancing, acting, painting, drawing, writing, etc., yet poetry is one thing I don't have any experience in, really. I'm also not a huge poetry reader. That's not to say I don't like it, I always enjoy sections on poetry in my English classes and the like- but I've never gone out and just read a book of poetry in my leisure time necessarily.
Needless to say, I'm going to be reading alot of poetry this semester just so I don't seem stupid- and produce trite, old fashioned work, as everyone will be critiquing all of our poetry. Which stresses me out because I'm such a novice...but I'm sure it will be alright! Poetry is such a subjective thing, anyways. I mean there are some poems out there by accomplished poets that are like, "Huh?" haha. So I shouldn't really think too hard about it I guess. I just don't want to be like that one main campus major in an Acting 1 class who is like " OH I KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THEATRE WICKED IS THE BEST OMG!!" haha
It will all work out though, I'm sure. I mean the type of person I am, I feel like I have to "conquer" everything I attempt- so I will conquer you, O world of poetry! :P

Maybe I'll share some on my blog!

But anyways, on top of classes I'm rehearsing for my ACTF scene as well as Robin's dance show so my time is pretty occupied. Thankfully I started this new thing where I wake up at around 6:30 every morning and just take my time to leisurely make breakfast, pack, finish up homework, do a workout, etc. so I am finding that I actually get things accomplished. It's a habit I'm planning on keeping up too as I really feel good about my day once I've gotten everything done in the morning!

Well, I hope everyone has a great start of the semester :)

My Master Cleanse Experience.

2011-01-07T11:34:00.000-08:00

Around Christmas Eve-ish I started to just feel really, really bloated and heavy. An endless supply of Christmas cookies and unabashed holiday eating are to blame, surely- yet I just couldn't shake that I just needed to do SOMETHING about it. Somehow I came upon the Master Cleanse and was intrigued so I kept researching. What is the Master Cleanse? Well, it's a sort of fast/diet that involves abstaining from any solid food for a minimum of 10 days while drinking only a concoction of purified water, fresh squeezed lemons, Pure maple syrup, and cayenne pepper along with laxative teas and a daily salt-water flush. It is supposed to totally detox and cleanse your body of toxins that have been built up, totally reset your system, and leave you with a renewed state of health. It also can cure caffeine, sugar, alcohol, and cigarette addictions as well. I did it to knock out that horrible sweet tooth I have and to end my bad relationship with food. I tend to overeat and eat when I'm not hungry and I hoped that doing this will teach me some self control! So in case you are curious how it works, here is a daily journal I took while on the cleanse:

Day 1: I started today! Yippee! I felt really excited and good until about 7 PM when I felt myself getting grumpy because I hadn't really eaten anything. I found the drink to be mildly unpleasant, but nobody else around me did really. I may have put too much cayenne pepper? Not sure. But at either rate, I could easily get it down. Later on I found that reducing the amount of maple syrup in half was a better solution for me because it was too sweet. I did find that whenever I was hungry and I drank some of the juice I actually was satisfied, weirdly! I don't think I ended up drinking the required minimum however, (6 glasses) as I went to a movie then hung out at a friend's house for a long time after with no access to my drink (note to self: Carry it with me.) and by that point it was like 3 AM when I got home so I just crashed. So I'll probably counter-act that by drinking more than 6 glasses tomorrow. But 1 day down! 9 more to go!

Day 2: ....the salt water flush. Is. not. pleasant. But so necessary! I actually don't feel like I'm starving or anything today upon waking. I was busy all day, walking around and went out and stayed out late with friends and I really never felt bad. The only time I got a little annoyed is when the friend I was with wanted to go eat Moes...and I sat and drank my water. I LOVE Moes so it was a little bit hard- but not nearly as hard as one might think it was. I had alot of energy all day too and really didn't feel any different than usual. I feel very "light"..which is a nice feeling actually. Like opposite of how you feel after eating Thanksgiving dinner haha!

Day 3: Again...salt water flush is probably the hardest part of this process. Only because it's SO hard to get down a liter of salt water. A LITER. But this is a very necessary step in the cleansing process so you can't just skip the things that are hard. I've found that if I drink a 1/4 liter every 5 minutes or so it helps me. I cannot just down the whole thing in one sitting. But other than that, I feel great! I've got energy and everything. This is becoming quite easy. And everytime I do feel hungry I just drink my drink and I'm satisfied. Really! I know it sounds impossible. But it's true.
Later on in the day, I started to really feel the hunger. And I started craving things alot. However the things I was craving were not necessarily ice-cream and chocolate- but I just really wanted a salad and some fruit. These specific oranges that are on our kitchen table. Stuff like that. I found myself fantasizing about the things I'm going to make once I am off this cleanse. It will be a great day! I also realize that there has been another side effect of all this- I am really, really cold. Like even more than I usually am. My hands and feet specifically just feel icy all the time. But a GOOD side effect has been my skin! It's so clear and nice! I like that. I also have this white coating on my tongue that I hear is the elimination of toxins- and you're technically not supposed to stop the cleanse until it turns pink. We'll see!

Day 4: Tried a new way to take the salt water flush by making the salt like a shot and then following it with the rest of the liter of water- didn't work. I immediately threw it up. I'm feeling especially queasy now so I just decided to skip the salt water flush altogether and drink some laxative tea instead. I feel a little hungry/weak but I think I just need to drink my juice! Gotta drink the tea first though...
Like I thought, as soon as I drank my juice I felt immediately better. The desire for food was not as bad today, although I find myself searching raw vegan recipes that I can't wait to make once I'm off the cleanse! I really just miss the texture and experience of eating more than anything. I don't feel like I'm being starved, I just really want to eat!

Day 5: I woke up feeling really really good!! I have alot of energy and taking down the salt water flush is alot easier. (I went back to the old way. NEVER AGAIN will I try the "shot" version!!) But yeah. Like I don't feel hungry at all. I feel energetic. It's great! However I just realized that I am PMSing so I won't truly be able to tell the weight I've lost because I bloat up like a balloon at this point- however I can still tell I've lost a little weight. Hopefully all this water I'm drinking will help with that anyways.

Day 6: I'M OVER HALFWAY THROUGH! WOOO!! Exciting! I'm so proud of myself for actually going through with this. Wee. So, I survived an alcohol/food free New Years celebration and you know what?! I had a great time. I had to endure going out to eat at one of my favorite restaurants as well as post-party Waffle House with some friends and I had my water and I was perfectly fine. Going through this experience is helping me SO MUCH with self-control and I think it's really going to help me with my problems of eating when I'm not hungry. I used to just eat no matter what, if we were going to Waffle House and even if I wasn't that hungry I would still order food anyways. It's like I felt obligated to eat. And that of course has definitely added to my weight gain recently. But through doing this cleanse I've had to do that literally every time food has been nearby- which is ALOT. For example, before I went out with friends my mom had made some of my favorite things- spinach dip, salsa, cheese dip, a Mexican chip casserole with black beans, veggies, chocolate cake, etc. and it was annoying to not be able to eat it just because I missed the flavors of everything. That's really what I miss the most...the FLAVORS of food. Not the food itself if that makes sense. I know that definitely once this cleanse is over I'm going to eat a lot slower and truly enjoy my food instead of just inhaling it like I used to do. But besides that, I feel pretty good today! I'm full of energy and I feel just great. Very clear-headed and light. I'm way past the point of "hunger" if that makes sense haha!

Day 7: And so it goes. Things are routine now. I actually just feel normal. Everything is pretty routine by now, and I'm getting sick of drinking the drink. You want to know what's really bizarre though? Like...even though I can't eat...I love watching cooking shows recently, more than I ever have! Haha. It doesn't even bother me! I think I just have been taking food for granted before this and I just am antsy to get in the kitchen and whip up something yummy! I also got a food processor today which is awesome. I'm really going to incorporate more raw vegan dishes into my repertoire so a processor will be very helpful. Homemade salsas, hummus, nut pates, and a myriad of sauces and chopped salads will all be mine soon! hehee...

Day 8: Ugh. Things I won't miss: The salt water flush. SO DISGUSTING. EVERY SINGLE TIME. It's so hard to get down! But you do it because it's so necessary to the cleanse. But I swear. It's difficult. =/ Not to discourage anyone wanting to possibly do the cleanse...but...I am just bemoaning it at this moment.
Later on in the day...I'm feeling good, just growing weary of the same old same old. Everything is soo routine and I just want something different to ingest besides disgusting salt water, or mediocre lemonade juice. On the bright side- I've lost around 7-8 lbs.! I didn't weigh myself right before I started, but I'm basing it off of the last time I weighed myself, which was before Christmas break. I know I definitely lost 5 lbs. since a few days ago when I weighed myself here. So that is pretty encouraging. Also my pants fit bitter, my face looks slimmer and I'm just really enjoying that! :) My nails and skin look great! I just have to stick this out 2 more days! TWO MORE DAYS! I know some people feel like they can continue on the cleanse for weeks after...but I think I'm definitely ready to get off of it. It's not that I feel awful or hungry or anything. Like I said- I just want a change. I can't wait to experience eating again for the sheer joy of it!

Day 9: Ho hum. It's the day before I'm done! YAY! I can't believe I've gotten this far. Wow. I went on a celebratory grocery shopping spree at Earthfare which is kind of like a Whole Foods store and reveled in all the wonderful things I'm going to make. I may or may not have splurged on a vegan brownie at the bakery and vegan asian dumplings from the deli counter as well :) hehe. As much as I am excited about eating super healthy again and am craving fresh fruits and salads and the like, my sweet tooth has definitely not disappeared- although I can't say 100% yet how it will taste. Things that I used to love may be a bit too rich for me now (which I'm hoping actually happens!) But we'll see. Also can I say I'm pretty sick of the lemonade? While I've warmed up to the taste significantly- it's still pretty tiresome. I'm just ready to eat solid food again. 2 days..2 days... (the first day off the cleanse I am supposed to only drink orange juice and then the next day I can only have soup and then I can finally have all my goodies! yay!) OH and I can fit comfortable into a pair of jeans I could barely button up before the cleanse! Score!

Day 10. I'm on the last day! The last day! I've got a pitcher of Simply Orange in the fridge and a box of clementines that are ready to be devoured! NOM! It's pretty exciting. This whole thing has gotten pretty monotonous. But I just weighed myself and I've lost a total of around 10 lbs. Crazy, right?! I also still haven't bitten my nails or cuticles so they actually are starting to look like normal people nails which is super cool :) So what did I learn by doing this?

That not eating solid food for 10 days is surprisingly easier than I thought.
That we take eating for granted and just shovel it in instead of utilizing all the senses. I tended to want to smell, touch, and just look at food since I couldn't eat it and it was (almost!) like eating it! Seriously! So from now on I'm really going to treasure each meal and eat slower, taking my time to relish in the flavors and textures.
That you can really do anything you set your mind to- even if it is not partaking in any New Years Eve festivities.
That people are surprisingly supportive of things that may seem weird. I didn't want to make a huge fuss about it because I'm sure people that have not really researched the Master Cleanse would be quick to make judgments, saying this is a "starvation diet" or something like that, but the few people that did know about it were very supportive and I've even influenced some to go on it themselves!
That the human body is very able to sustain itself readily without food. We think sometimes that if we go 5 hours without food we're going to keel over and die!
That food does not have control over me anymore. (best part!) That was the whole point of doing this for me, personally. Along with kick-starting my super-healthy eating and cutting out of other things. But I just always succumbed to food instead of using it to nourish me solely. I ate when I wasn't hungry and in social situations alot- and I learned that it is easy to just drink water at the table even if others are eating. It's not a big deal!

Day 11: So today is my "ease off" day and I can only have orange juice and maybe some orange slices here and there...I have to say I'm drinking orange juice as I type this and it is absolutely amazing. Just wonderful! It's literally like drinking liquid candy. I also ate a clementine and it's phenomenal as well. It's just really nice to have SOMETHING different. Even though I technically can't have 'real food' until a couple more days...it is a nice step up. I could just drink this orange juice all day! (Good thing that's what I"m doing...lol)

Day 12: Today I can incorporate soup along with my orange and clementines that I've been eating! (Although I must admit I've snuck a few bites of other things here and there...shhh!) But it's nice to be able to eat again. Now that I've been intaking more calories, I did a short workout as well and it feels so nice to get my body and muscles movin' again too! I've already planned out my workouts and I'm excited about getting in the best shape of my life this semester. :)

So overall, this cleanse has been a positive experience I would say. Would I recommend it for everyone? Probably not. It's something you really have to be in the right mindset for, and if you lead an unhealthy lifestyle it will be alot harder for you than it was for me, probably as you will be dealing with caffeine withdrawals on top of it and the like. Also, if you are somebody who likes to bend the rules, this is not for you as you really need to do it pretty much to the letter to do it safely and to get the maximum benefit of the cleanse. Also, it's not something you can just up and decide to do one day- I carefully researched and then set a date and focused on that starting date. However, I don't want to discourage anyone, and if you are relatively healthy and really want something to jump-start an even healthier lifestyle, I would definitely recommend it. However make sure you are not under requirement to do strenuous movement/exercise as you would probably be too weak. (However I did shake my booty on the town with no problems on several occasions! haha) But if you are considering it, just make sure you do some research and go for it! :) http://themastercleanse.org/ is a wonderful resource and helped me alot. Youtubing others' experiences on the cleanse was very inspirational for me as well! There is alot of information on it on the web, and I also read a book on it in Barnes & Noble (Look under the Alternative Medicine section to find it!)

7 Ways Guys Try to Act Aloof & Mysterious.

2010-12-26T23:00:00.000-08:00

Ah, gotta love the writers at Yahoo. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not writing for them and jerks such as the guy who wrote this article are. Here is the article in question. (My thoughts in italics):

"How (and why) should I act like I don't care about someone that I'm interested in?

I can understand the rationale. I'm attracted to women that are gloriously unavailable.

It is this aloofness that I strive to master. I can't seem to get the mix right: I'm either not aloof enough or (when I try to be aloof) I look uninterested.

In addition to creating "a chase," aloofness creates mystery. The person might wonder, just who is Rich Santos (even though it's clear I'm just a dumb guy who likes the Ravens, Ramen, and chicken tenders...and sleep).

My main weakness is my tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve and remain honest with my affection and intentions.

Here are some aloofness tactics I've tried:

Sending Mixed Signals

One moment, I'll be affectionate, totally paying attention to you. The next minute, I'll be a little distant.

Sending mixed signals is a timeless tactic employed by both genders. Not only does it create a riddle for the other person to solve, but giving little tastes of good vibes, mixed with a confusing vibe intrigues people.

[Okay. I can understand this a little bit because I can't say I have NEVER done this. But honestly I'll only do it if it is done to me first. It's a "two can play that game" reasoning. But to be honest, purposefully sending mixed signals first is kind of annoying. I'm like...if I get the feeling that you're not into me I'll just move on. ]

The Classic Ignore

This one is quite immature and can be downright mean, but sometimes you just have to do it.

You don't have to be that obnoxious, but making the person long for your attention by makes it that much better for them when you actually give them that attention later on (once you've decided the punishment has gone long enough). [WHAT?! Once you've decided the PUNISHMENT of not being graced by your presence has gone long enough?! Like you're God's gift to women or something?!]

Walking in to a party and talking to everyone but her, not going right over to her right away, keeps her in check and makes it look like I've got a lot going on.

[It "keeps her in check"?! Well, hope I don't get out of line so I don't get punished later!]

Surrounding Myself with a Crowd

Holding court the middle of an impenetrable circle of cool, attractive people is intimidating, but effective. Your person of interest will want to be part of the circle. It's especially magnetic if you can keep the crowd laughing and nodding in agreement, like a politician on the campaign trail.

[Make sure you kiss alot of baby's foreheads too. That's a real turn-on!]

Putting Down Your Cool Things

Due to the fact that women like jerks, when I put down something she thinks is really cool, I have success.

I am always telling women how much I hate Lady Gaga when they trump her up, and I once told a girl she'd "never make it in New York," while she was bragging about her plans. A few weeks later, we were hooking up. I guess putting all that stuff down makes me look too cool for school.

[I literally don't even know where to begin with this paragraph. A waiter at Cheddar's once told me "good luck with that" when I told him I was a theatre major. He later friend requested me on Facebook. He was denied. Let that speak for itself. Also the fact that the phrase "too cool for school" was used in a serious context makes me seriously question this. Like I feel as if this could be a parody of itself. ]

Making Myself Look Busy

Sometimes when I text a girl that I can't meet her because of "cool social engagement A, B, or C," I'm doing so lying in bed in boxers watching Lifeteime movies before passing out. It's all about creating the image. If you use this tactic, remember not to leave a Facebook status trail saying that you're actually staying in and watching bad movies.

[There is a fine line between fibbing about plans because you need alone time and faking "cool social engagements" to make yourself appear like you are popular. Also- the "Lifeteime" typo is in the original article...haha ]

Sharing Occasional Deep Thoughts - AKA The Starving Artist

The occasional deep/tortured thought makes me look so distant and emotionally unavailable. Who doesn't want to try to solve that riddle?

[Um...I don't have time to solve your "occasional deep thoughts." Nor do I have the time to listen to you ask about the meaning of life while holding a straight razor dangerously close to your wrists in an attempt to seem "tortured." Plus I'm already a starving artist myself. I need an emotionally stable guy!]

Limiting My Attempts

After she's blown enough chances, I move on. It makes it look like I've got more going on.

I wish I didn't have to fake aloofness. It's part of the game. It's immature to employ these games, but it's also immature for men and women to be attracted to aloof people.

Shouldn't it be as simple as trying to spend time with someone you like, showing that you're available for them because they are special? I've been burned too many times doing this-perhaps it's boring because I'm "too easy".

Or maybe I'm supposed to be aloof until we are dating/committed- at which point I'll start getting in trouble for being too aloof.

Do you find it more attractive when a guy is aloof, and what do you think of my tactics above? Do you try to act aloof with guys? Why do you think aloofness is attractive-is it the thrill of the chase, or the mystery and their independent appearance?

[How about this. Don't act aloof on purpose. If you like me- I want to know. Don't purposefully send mixed signals. We are not in fourth grade anymore and it's not attractive. Even if it seems to be working a girl will get fed up with it. Trust me! So Guys: Please don't take this nitwit's advice. It's annoying. Thanks!]

Cleansing.

2010-12-24T22:53:00.000-08:00

You know when you have a complete reality check? I totally had one the other day. And it was about my weight. Before you go all cray cray on me just hear me out. I was trying on a dress that I wanted to wear for Christmas Eve events today, and it was pretty darn tight and hard to zip up. So hard, in fact, that the zipper completely broke and it ripped my dress. A pretty distressing moment to say the least! And lately I've just felt so...puffed up I guess you could say. It's like I don't even enjoy getting dressed in the morning because of the way my clothes have been fitting me. Which is unfortunate because if you know me, you know how much I love clothes! It's just becoming like an annoying task more than anything and I just want to stay in my PJs as long as possible.

I'm just SICK of feeling this way.I've absolutely had it and decided that I want to cleanse my body and start anew.

So I have decided to do the Master Cleanse starting on December the 27th. (That allots for 2 days of Christmas leftovers/cookie eating!)

What is the Master Cleanse? Also known as the "lemonade diet," it's a cleanse where you basically only drink a concoction made out of fresh lemons, purified water, cayenne pepper, and grade B maple syrup. You also supplement it with herbal teas and laxative teas. It sounds bizarre, but a LOT of people have gone on the cleanse and had wonderful results. You can lose alot of weight fast, obviously- but what people don't realize is that it isn't really starving yourself- as this lemonade concoction does have calories that can sustain your body. One girl did the master cleanse for 40 days and she had super results from it. The main reason that I want to do it is not to lose weight necessarily- but to use it as a catalyst to change my eating habits. Most of the people that are successful with the cleanse drastically change their eating habits and start eating healthier again, mostly raw vegan which I have dabbled with in the past as well but lately have not so much been doing. So, these people have lost a good amount of weight on the cleanse and have actually kept it off by changing their eating habits.

I just need a good kick in the butt so I think that now being home for Christmas break before I go back into the harsh grind again would be a great opportunity to try something like this so that when I return back to Columbus I will be even more motivated to stay very healthy and get back on track. The main reason I want to lose some weight is for my career. As you know I'm going into acting/modeling, and while I am by no means considering myself overweight- I definitely have some toning and weight loss to do! So this cleanse will kind of help to jumpstart me into a better lifestyle. (Not that I'm necessarily unhealthy right now- I eat pretty healthy meals- although lately I've been using that as an excuse to pig out on things such as margaritas, cookies, frozen yogurt, etc...and that adds up!)

Thankfully, most of you guys that are around me won't have to deal with how grumpy I inevitably will be the first few days of this cleanse and I will be fresh for when school starts which is nice.

I'm super excited because I just really think this is going to be what I need to get me started back into a wonderfully healthy lifestyle again! I'm just sick of making excuses for myself and ready to kick it into high-gear.

I'm planning on documenting my cleanse through Youtube videos which I may post here so you can see a Before/After as well as my thoughts while I'm on the cleanse so keep yourself posted.

Also- before you call me certifiable insane- just do a little bit of research on the cleanse. Just look on Youtube for some testimonials and Before/Afters!

If you are interested in the cleanse yourself, visit this website here and find out more information

On December 27th the cleanse starts! Stay tuned!

AuditionBooth!

2010-12-22T14:08:00.001-08:00

So I just joined this site, AuditionBooth- where you can audition for things via webcam as well as upload a general "audition." Wanna check it out? Go here! I sing towards the end of it. :) Go "like" it!

No explanation necessary. Just take a second to drool. You're welcome.

2010-12-21T22:43:00.000-08:00

Officially finished!

2010-12-13T13:01:00.000-08:00

Today is the LAST official day of the semester. I finished my last 2 exams, and now it's Christmas break officially! It's weird to think that I just finished my last fall semester in my life essentially. But it's exciting too! :) With everyone just having graduated it is really causing me to prepare mentally for it myself. It's just going to be such a magical moment to get my degree and to be a college graduate! However, I do have some hurdles to jump first, but I'll get through them.
I think I figured out my post-graduation plan though. I think I definitely am going to move to Atlanta. Ideally, directly from my Columbus apartment. (Sorry Augusta...it's not that I don't like you..but...wait actually I really just don't like you!) There is absolutely no reason for me to be in a place where I can't further continue my career in any way. So I'm going to be looking for reasonably priced Atlanta apartments and move in and preferably already have a "real person" job lined up so I can be financially secure while I audition and find agents and what not.

Lately I've gotten some really cool modeling opportunities such as modeling for a local Atlanta designer named Marian Collier- she has some really great stuff and it was alot of fun to be a part of a fashion show situation.
I met some nice contacts there and from a photographer that was covering the event there, now I'll be doing a photoshoot at Compound in Atlanta for a different designer that will be published in Shooterfoto magazine. It's a small publication targeted to models/photogs/designers/etc. but it is still pretty cool to be published in something! And it should be alot of fun. Apparently Compound is this club where celebrities have their birthday parties at and stuff like that. Fancy! So anyways we will see how that goes. The shoot is on Saturday so I decided to stay in Columbus until then so I can save on gas, and also I have 2 photoshoots with Columbus photographers this week as well. I think it will be nice to have a little "me"-vacation before Christmas break as well if that makes sense.

But yeah other than that it's been somewhat of a cavalcade of partying these past couple weeks. Me and Robin had our birthday party shindig at Kyle's which went pretty well- here are a couple "paparazzi" shots before the party actually started:

So many other people have had parties and Christmas shindigs and what nots as well. It's been alot of fun to socialize, get dressed up and just generally enjoy the holidays :)

Thoughts on next semester and graduation.

2010-11-23T10:06:00.000-08:00

So I'm sitting here looking through the theatre calendar for the spring and just trying to orient myself with what is to come.
This is my conclusion: I'm going to be literally CRAZY. I'm going ahead and checking out on any sort of life I may try to have next semester. As there will be no social life to be had. This is why.

January.
Starting in January are juries for KC-ACTF every Friday. Also- I will be needing to do costume crew for Charlotte's Web, which starts on the 17th-23rd. I will also be preparing for KC-ACTF convo on the 28th (KC-ACTF is an acting competition for theatre majors in which you prepare 2 scenes and a monologue/song to perform in order to win scholarships and other awards.), and then I'm off to Daytona on Feb. 1st. Let's add to that As You Like It's preliminary rehearsals as well as In Dreams/Nightmares rehearsals. (Robin's Sr. Project)

February
February is a literal month of INSANITY. From the 1st-5th I'll be in Daytona for KC-ACTF, and then the following weekend is GA Thespians in which I'm required to work hours for, plus it will just be insane in Columbus around that time. The following weekend is One-Act auditions, and then In Dreams/Nightmares goes up the following weekend. I start actual rehearsals for As You Like It this month too, in addition to all the rehearsals for Robin's show. Aye Caramba.

March
And then I'm off to SETC on March 3rd-6th in Atlanta to audition for professional companies in hopes of landing an acting job after graduation. One-Act rehearsals begin on the 14th, and As You Like It is rehearsing as well. I will also be required to attend production meetings for the one-acts as I am taking sound design and will be needing to sound design a one act. Oh yeah and I also forgot one tiny thing-My SENIOR ACTING RECITAL goes up on the 25th, and the following weekend starts Tech rehearsals for As You Like It.

April
From the 1st-10th my life will be consumed with tech rehearsals and performances of As You Like It (It goes up the 7th!) and then that's over. However One-Act tech rehearsals start the week after. The next couple weekends will be consumed by one-acts and Dance Extravaganza rehearsals, no doubt. The day after One-Acts are over I've gotta high-tail it to Augusta for the weekend to be in Brooke's wedding on the 29th-30th.

May
May 2nd is the last day of classes. (Classes?! When will I have time for those?!) And Dance Extravaganza goes up on the 5th. However.....on the 9th....I ....will...be....A COLLEGE GRADUATE WITH A BFA THEATRE PERFORMANCE DEGREE. And ready to enter the real world!

So. There we have it. My Spring Semester of doom. Thank GOD my course load is light. I'm so incredibly thankful for taking summer/maymester classes because if I hadn't done that I would be killing myself to fit everything in! I literally only have theatre practice on M/W, and I have no classes on Fridays. T/TRs are going to be packed with classes, but that's just the way it worked. I have breaks though which is nice- and none of the classes are immensely stressful necessarily.

At some point I am going to have to find time to squeeze in Saber meetings and writing articles and things as well- since I definitely am not going to have time for a real person's job which is sad because I definitely need to save up money in order to move...ahh.

Speaking of moving after graduation. I have been doing some thinking lately. The bottom line is I definitely want to be in NYC. My initial plan was to go to Augusta and live there for about 6 months or so, and just work my butt off and raise money. However, I have been wondering if it is really the best idea for me to be in Augusta, making money, yet being far away from any opportunities I may get in the meantime-whereas I could perhaps be somewhere like Atlanta and paying rent, but being really close to tons of more opportunities and be able to maybe get signed on to an agency and do a year or so of professional work before heading to NY? These are just thoughts I'm thinking about. It would be definitely easier to take advantage of lucrative stand-in work and things like that if I'm already in Atlanta instead of commuting from Augusta, and I could easily share an apt. with friends that will be there. I'm also worried about being just stagnant career-wise in Augusta. I don't want to just slave away for money in order to get to NY while I could be slowly building up my career and making money at the same time. Also, if I am submitting to agencies earlier than I would have more of an incentive to move there as well. Then after a year or so, I could have alot of more experience and have beefed up my resume with professional work- making a move to NYC seem alot more feasible and I could have more time to prepare for it.

Of course, you never know what will happen in life. I could get a job from SETC, or heck, who knows- I could even get a job in NYC from an audition I will go on after graduation. (I want to go there and audition for my graduation present!)

But as you can see from my hectic schedule to come- I'm definitely going to embrace and enjoy these breaks coming up and try to utilize this time to the best of my ability! I'm a little annoyed that I don't know what part I am in As You Like It yet- as I wanted to really familiarize myself with my lines- but I guess I'm just going to have to familiarize myself with the entire play in general, or at least all the female roles- which is not a bad thing I suppose. I'm also going to use my breaks to submit to agencies and companies and the like, and to get off book for everything in advance- such as ACTF material and such. I also will need to find Sr. Project material during this time.
But it's okay- this is just the life of a theatre major, haha! I will get through it! It will make me a little insane- but I know it will all work out somehow. And the rewards will be great.

My life in bullet points.

2010-11-21T22:38:00.000-08:00

Crucible costume crew is finally over. I literally feel like I have been living in a dungeon for about a week. Forced to wear black and confined to a basement- it was awful. However, I did enjoy our knitting parties. Yes, you read right- I learned how to knit! And now I'm addicted! I just started a scarf. Although I have to say it's a little embarrassing how slow I knit right now- but I just knit it so tightly. It will take me forever to finish this scarf but by golly it will be a good scarf I think! It's pretty- variants of aqua blue. But anyways, I did enjoy working on such a great show, I just am glad it's over though. Life resumes as usual.
Thanksgiving break is coming soon! Literally in 3 days! I can't believe it's already here. I can't believe this semester is almost over. Thank God all my hard classes are over. (I'm DONE with Directing. WHAT? Bizarre!!!) I'm excited to just relax and rejuvenate in preparation for my LAST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE EVER. Although I do need to find a new Shakespeare monologue, as well as find scenes for ACTF. But that's not terribly stressful, really. All that entails is reading plays, which I enjoy doing :)
So I downloaded The Sims 3 on my new computer which is super exciting because it runs like a charm! The graphics are super crisp as well. I can waste so much time on this game...but it is just so addictingly fun!
I keep having dreams about New York. Can't wait to be there. Mentally, I'm already there. Now to get there financially as well as physically...

All I Want for Christmas...

2010-11-15T21:50:00.000-08:00

I have decided to keep an on-going wish list through my blog for Christmas. Just for funsies :P

First item! This cute keychain cap from Modcloth. I love it! :) Find it here!

Next: this kitchen brush. It's so freaking cute! :) I realize it's lame that I legitimately WANT a kitchen dish scrubber but I mean really- look at the adorableness of this. Find it here!

Aren't these sunglasses the CUTEST?! I love them. Find them here.

UMMMM This dress is beyond adorable. I absolutely love it. it's retro kitsch at its best. Find it here!

I LOVE this dress, too! Wouldn't it be just a grand audition dress? It's so unique but classically simple as well, with the right amount of femininity and structure. Buy it for me here. ;)

Is this or is this not the perfect LBD? So classy! You can dress it up or down easily, and it's just so perfect I can hardly stand it. Purchase.

So sumptuous! This dress just makes me want to be dripping in pearls and champagne.While sitting on a cloud of silky buttercream frosting. So delightfully frilly and feminine and GORGEOUS! I want.

(So if you haven't figured it out yet, I LOVE modcloth.com. Maybe I'll move to a new website...)

So...moving on to anthropologie! The clothes and accessories here are equivalent to a fancy decadent dessert at a restaurant you can't afford. So luscious. So expensive. So...off limits. But I love to look!
Let's take a minute and drool over all of these amazing sweaters:

I'll take them all, thanks! Find them here :)

I'll also take this scarf/shawl please.

And these shoes.
More Christmas wish list posts to come from here on out until Christmas. Ciao!

Moments

2010-11-14T22:27:00.000-08:00

It's so important to treasure individual moments in life as they happen and to not take it for granted. This weekend has really taught me that. It's been full of many truly wonderful moments that are special in different ways but that all are worth looking back on. Feeding ducks on my pond, enjoying nature and thinking about the future, the bliss of spending a night in alone, as well as the excitement of going out and just enjoying life with friends, the simple pleasure of doing a crossword puzzle, listening to music and just being taken to another place emotionally- I've just encountered many noteworth moments this weekend. Even though my philosophy is usually that life is a succession of awkward moments strung together- for the most part the past couple days have been pretty free of awkwardness and filled with moments of sheer joy that make me delight in the world and life in general. I'm just relishing in life right now and the uncertainty and spontaneity of it. Who knows what things will happen next week? Next month? Next year? Where will I be? What will I be doing? I have no idea! We never know. I may encounter hardships, heartache, failure, mistakes- but amid all of these things I know there will be special moments that will make life worthwhile. So I'll treasure these moments because this life is the only one I have- I don't think anyone should dwell on negativity but you should use your time on earth to just embrace the lovely world we live in by doing what makes you happy and finding ways that you may be able to spread joy to others. :)

Mega-List Part 2!

2010-11-14T10:20:00.000-08:00

I did a list like this awhile back and I think it's time for a second version!

What have I been listening to lately?
Okay, so recently I went on an album downloading rampage and I have been steadily listening to these albums:
1.) Maroon 5- Hands All Over

It's their newest CD...and oh so good. If you have ever been a fan of Maroon 5 I highly recommend it! My favorite song? Hands All Over. It just makes me want to dance. ;)

2.)Sufjan Stevens- The Age of Adz.

Simply wonderful. Everything Sufjan ever does is gold in my opinion, and this album is just rich with lush instrumentation, quirky beats and haunting vocals that just make for delicious music.

My favorite song? I Want to Be Well. Just so intricately awesome.

3.) Michael Franti & Spearhead- The Sound of Sunshine

This album is just full of happy fun music. Great for listening in the car on a sunny day! :) My favorite song? The Sound of Sunshine. Just fun. Makes me wish summer a bit though...

4.) The Andrews Sisters - The Best Of
Nothing quite like this lovely vintage music that makes me feel just warm and fuzzy. My favorite song? Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy. Love it.
5.) Matt and Kim- Grand
Simply delightful folk/alternative music...My favorite song? Daylight. Which I'm sure I'll be hearing alot of soon as it's in Robin's Sr. Project haha!

What beauty products have I been loving lately?

Purminerals make-up. It is wonderfully light, yet offers alot of coverage and takes the place of foundation, powder, concealer, as well as sunscreen. It's really a great product! :)

NYX lipgloss in Salsa. This lipgloss is a wonderful bright hot pink and I love wearing it because it's just so fun! NYX is a really great lipgloss line- you can get it at ULTA. I would highly recommend it to anyone!
- got2b Smooth Operator Lustre Lotion. This stuff is really great. I don't leave the house without it on my hair. It is basically a lightweight cream that tames frizzies and flyaways and makes your hair silky smooth. I especially like it for when I wear my hair straight as I like to put alot on the ends of my hair and at the top. It's pretty awesome!

What have I been eating lately?

Well I discovered my absolute favorite soup in the world is back at Atlanta Bread Company! Butternut squash! :D It's so amazingly delicious- especially if you get it in a bread bowl. Now, I realize, however, this may or may not be the epitome of health and I'm sure it is high in calories- but it is just one of those guilty pleasures that I just have to have. Especially because it's seasonal- I'm pretty sure they take it away around Januaryish, and I have been craving this soup for EVER. So if you have never had it, it's worth a try. It's absolutely scrumptious!

Also- if you have never had Chill frozen yogurt, you have no idea what you are missing. Chill is another guilty pleasure of mine- however it's really not THAT guilty, since it's frozen yogurt and not ice-cream and you can definitely make it healthy with non-fat vanilla fro-yo and fruit toppings. Although I myself am partial to the pumpkin pie flavor with graham cracker crumbs, pecans, cheesecake bites and whipped cream. So fall-esque. So delicious. I can't get enough!

What have I been wearing lately?

In the winter-time, I'm all about wearing colorful skirts with neutral tights and/or over-the-knee socks. I also love cozy sweaters and cardigans in neutral colors to pair with it. Also- since winter wear is a bit boring to me at times, I especially love any kind of embellishments such as flowered brooches and things, and statement necklaces! Aren't these heels to die for?! I wish I actually owned those. *sigh*

What have I been doing lately?

This weekend has been a lovely respite from the grind of school, rehearsals, etc. Yesterday was the loveliest of days- starting with getting to sleep in- then going to feed ducks by my pond, then going for a brisk run in the sunny weather, then getting Atlanta Bread Company's butternut squash soup while reading Christopher Durang plays (I found a hysterical scene that I think I want to do for ACTF!) and after that I was crafty, where I made these shoes(Okay, well I didn't "make" them, per se, but I just decorated my white keds from Goodwill that I used for my Kelly Kapowksi costume from Halloween and revamped them a bit using a Sharpie and replacing the laces with black satin ribbon. I just basically doodled all over them and wrote things on the bottom- one shoe has the world "love" in about 8 different languages- and the other shoe just has words like "peace," "joy," "happiness," "fun," "gratitude" etc. on it. These shoes just make me happy! I'm thinking I might get another pair and cover them completely with sequins or something. That will make for a fun project to do over Christmas break! :)
I also made this brooch here- I just had some leftover polka dot fabric, bunched it together to make a flower and sewed a metallic button in the middle. I like it. :)

Today, I again, have NO plans. I suppose I could be productive somehow but at this point I'm not even sure what I should do. I will have plenty of time to read plays for ACTF scenes during The Crucible so I'm not too worried about that. I suppose I can get a head start on my Saber Articles, even though we don't have an issue for awhile. But anyways, I'm just going to take the day as it comes and just enjoy this little break before this upcoming week of Crucible dress rehearsals and performances. It's going to be rough in addition to my directing scene and then with the 2 morning performances...but it will be a good show and I'm excited to have a part in it somehow. I love any opportunity to help out with make-up related things, and I will be assisting everyone with their old-age and making John Proctor look gross at the end essentially haha. But by Wednesday I will actually be done with my last directing scene ever which is a crazy notion but exciting too. It's a lot of stress that will be gone. I'm surprisingly, however, not really stressed at all about my scene anyways. It's coming together pretty well, and I really like it. I'm thinking of adding some cello underscoring and maybe going to play with some lighting to evoke an old Russian feel to this Chekhov piece. I never really use technical elements in my scenes, but I think that it will add a little something special to it. I'm excited!
Well anyways. I hope everyone else has gotten to enjoy their weekend like I have gotten to. And the day has just begun so there is more joy to be had I'm sure! :)

Clean house, clean mind.

2010-11-09T22:47:00.000-08:00

So the past couple days I have been cleaning my apartment intensely...like I'm talking bleaching the baseboards- cleaning out carpet stains- everything. Everything is pretty much done and I feel so super accomplished! Our apartment needed a thorough cleaning for awhile- we have all just been so busy...and recently we got some unfriendly fruit fly visitors so I thought it would be best to just do an overhaul. It is weirdly therapeutic actually, to intensely clean everything...and I'm not stopping still- I'm going to clean out my car tomorrow! Something I've been meaning to do for awhile. It's actually not too messy, I just need to like dust and spray everything down and vaccuum. But at either rate- it feels really nice and I feel like my head is clear.

I feel less stressed about life now that my last directing analysis is finished- however I feel like this is the calm before the storm....once Crucible starts I am going to be so busy with that, as I'm on costume crew and I'm rehearsing my directing scene during 1st and 2nd dress. But after that it's smooth sailing from here on out. I've got all my classes for next semester picked out and I'm ready and rarin' to go to settle into my very last semester!

I just feel like life is good and I'm grateful for everything that's come my way. I'm weirdly not as stressed out as I imagined I would be for this last directing scene, either. I usually fret so much about it but to be honest I'm just trusting that it will be good and I do believe that it will be, and I hate to say it but I'll be so glad once its over and I'm done with directing class! Not that I haven't learned alot and have enjoyed the process- it's just SO much work and it will be nice to focus my energy on other things besides 50 page analyses.

I don't know if I mentioned it earlier but I'm super excited to be cast in Robin's Sr. Project ballet in February! I have been missing dance, and I know that it will help me alot and it will be awesome to be able to be in a fully technical realized dance production that incorporates Shakespeare as well! I know Robin is going to do a great job :)

Everything just works out sometimes! :)

2010-11-04T22:05:00.000-07:00

So life is pretty good. I just got past a major blip of stress what with auditions and Sr. Sem and figuring out the deets for my last directing scene....but I think I have it all figured out! PLUS: I got cast in As You Like It! YAY! It's super exciting, because we have a guest director from the New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta directing it which will make it such a unique experience- plus some great networking! We actually don't know our roles yet, however- we are supposed to present another monologue in January and we will find out the entire cast in February. (The show isn't until April, so they can afford to do this haha.) It's mildly stressful that we are still in the audition "process," but it's nice to know that I have a show to work on for my very last semester here. And a Shakespeare show, no less!

You know, that I used to think of myself as an actress that just would never do Shakespeare. I had just decided that it wasn't for me. However, since taking Adv. Directing and being able to really delve into it- I decided that I really enjoyed it and that I was completely capable! And now that I changed my attitude on Shakespeare- lookie here, now I'm DOING a Shakespeare show! :) It's really wonderful what can happen when you open your mind and change your attitude a bit. But anyways, I have great fellow castmembers as well, and I know it is going to be an amazing experience to finish out my college career with.

Another exciting notion is that I don't have to give up going to ACTF either! That's great because I really didn't want to have to since I have never gone- and I really like the material I have picked out. I'm planning on doing "When You're Home" from In The Heights as a musical scene, and a scene from the classic play "The Country Girl." I still need to pick out a monologue- but I may do one I already know, we'll see! But anyways. It's exciting! And then I have SETC to go to too, in March. I can already tell Spring is going to be a CRRAZZYYY semester...but I say bring it on! The more opportunities the better.

Tomorrow I have auditions for Robin's Sr. Project (Which I can be a part of as well since As You Like It goes up afterwards!) which is exciting. It's a ballet type show and I'd love to get back into dancing again as I am not in a dance class for the first time in forever this semester. Tomorrow is also early registration. It's hard to believe it's the very last time I will be typing in my class numbers and preparing for the next semester's round of classes. Thankfully I've planned my classes well throughout the years so I literally am taking 12 hours. How awesome is that? And I only have theatre practice on M/W, and NO class on Friday. Ample, ample, homework time. Music to my ears! I'll definitely need all this time what with everything that is going on next semester...ACTF, SETC, Sr. Project, As You Like It, One-Act festival, Brooke's wedding....so. many. things. filled. with. stress. haha. But it will all work out I know it will, it always does!
However, I still am pining for the day I walk across the stage to get my degree... you know, I feel like it will be so much more emotional than my high school graduation was honestly...because I mean high school is something most every child in the country has to go through, and graduating high school doesn't seem that monumental for some reason. But graduating college with a degree- not everyone can say they have done that! And the fact that I feel like I have poured my heart and soul into this degree during my time here, and just thinking of everything I have learned, the people I've met and grown up in the theatre dept. with, all the experiences I've had- it was just so much more fulfilling than high school was. Don't get me wrong, I had a great high school experience, but now I'm older and can really appreciate things more, I think. I am just so grateful for everything that has come into my life during my time here and I wouldn't have exchanged it for anything. :)

Pictures throughout time worth re-visiting.

2010-11-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

This picture and the next are from the time that Robin decided to "dress me up" with random objects. For some bizarre reason, I let her. This was probably around this time last year or so. I've always loved the first picture with the leopard hose on my head. I think it's a rather attractive photo, don't you? And I'm quite the fashion plate in the following one.

This photo was taken before Crazy For You last Spring. It took me about an hour to put in these small, tight rollers in my hair every day. Ugh. We bought a cake and I decided to place the lid on my head, resulting in a strange photo that truly epitomizes me, I think. :P

This is a somewhat recent photo actually, taken at a party at Justin Stevens'. I vaguely remember this strange mask being around and I being rather fond of it. Note the way Chris is glaring at me in the background..bahaha. In general it's an amusing photo.

This picture goes way back to Freshman year, when I did Schoolhouse Rock Live, Too! On tour. One day we had a bunch of extra time before a show so we decided to don each other's costumes. "What a CraAaazzyyy day!"

Another vintage freshman year photo. There is not too much I can say except WHY!?! haha! I love this picture though and it really represents my freshman year. Bizarre.

One of my favorite pictures of all time. If you know Robin, you know her innate fear of wet paper...well this particular day at Ihop I decided to taunt Robin with wet paper mercilessly. Quite amusing for me, apparently, yet horrifying for Robin. Thankfully we got a great photo out of it that captures the emotion of the moment.

This was Halloween in the costume shop my Sophomore year. We had a ball just trying on random things... this was probably my favorite combination. The Lady Gaga-esque dress, Captain hook hand and crazy ghoul mask are quite an attractive combo.

The summer after my Freshman year in college I taught at Midsummer Macon, a summer arts camp. I taught theatre- and we did lots of fun things like create masks and put on mini plays. I demonstrated how these masks were supposed to work and created this strange one as an example. Thankfully, they did not follow suit and create similar ones. I have no idea what possessed the creation of this monstrosity of bizarrity.

Freshman year. Cory literally harassed me with pizza...there is a video on facebook of this occurrence...he tried to shove it down my throat!! It was quite amusing looking back but I was not pleased.

Actually, if there is any incident that epitomizes my freshman year, it has to be this one. The infamous "Peanut butter" incident. One day me, Dureyea, EJ, Emily and India decided to have a sleepover... and these were the days that I was not used to staying up super late yet and I got quite loopy at around 3 AM. This is around that time, and I decided to don Dureyea's cap and walk around with this giant jar of peanut butter, pretending to be a small child and asking everyone around me, "You like peanut butter?!?!" I was a mess.

Ah, stage makeup. This was the animal day, and I was a tabby cat. I remember this day as I used to ride my blue razor scooter all around downtown Columbus- and I remember keeping my makeup on after class and riding around on it. Incidentally I ran into Robin and Chase and snuck up to them exclaiming "Cat on a Scooter! Cat on a Scooter!" To which they found great amusement. This picture has always amused me for some reason...I think it's because I'm so nonchalant and Megan is so loving on my cat character. And yes I know I'm going to be a cat lady one day. Don't judge.

My freshman birthday party was alot of fun...reindeer ears got passed around to the many members of the party and I just love this photo for the different emotions represented.

This is just a smattering of fun photos I found while reminiscing on old times. I'm feeling very reminiscent lately, I think it's because I realize just how close I am to graduating and and crazy it is! I like to think of the progress I've made in life in general and I am just very pleased with how things have been turning out. I treasure the fun times I've had and look forward to creating many more memories in my next phases of life! :)

Halloween!

2010-10-31T07:15:00.000-07:00

So, first of all let me express to you how lame last year's Halloween was. First of all, there were no real parties that we knew about leading up to it, so nothing to plan for....we were underage so we couldn't go out...we had cute costumes but nowhere to go, so we essentially just had a few people over and hung out at the apt. Which was not completely terrible, don't get me wrong- it just wasn't that great. haha.
But THIS YEAR...completely different story! At first you would think having Halloween on a Sunday would be detrimental to the festivities- but in all actuality it made it seem to last super duper long. My Halloween festivities actually started out on Thursday at the RHAC party where I went as Kelly Kapowski. I love the RHAC party because it is always on the Thursday of General auditions, and it is a way to celebrate them being over! (Speaking of auditions- I got called back for Eurydice and As You Like It! Yay!)

But anyways. Then on Friday, which was another stressful day in my life, (Callbacks! Sr. Sem final/audition!) me and Robin went to Mix Ultra Lounge...it was a vampire themed party so we naturally went as vampires. We tried to get teeth but they ended up looking completely hideous so we ditched the teeth. (They were cheap ones from CVS, go figure.) Here are our vampire looks:

SCARY! :P Not really. But yeah, so Mix was pretty fun, although we were reinforced by the idea we already had of Columbus guys, and that is that they are just awkward. We still had a good time however! :)

And then yesterday was an entire day filled with lovely celebration! We started the day off going to Chill in costume to get 15% off, (I was a gypsy!) where I proceeded to get pumpkin pie flavor with pecans, graham crackers and whipped cream... delightful! We then went to the Fresh Market to get pumpkins and stopped in Petsmart and Target to get candy for the trick or treaters :)

We came home and carved our pumpkins which was a fun event. Here's mine- it's a Hello Kitty pumpkin, of course!

We then roasted the pumpkin seeds which were delicious, watched I Know What You Did Last Summer and passed out candy to trick-or-treaters, which was oddly nerve-wracking. I have no idea why but everytime kids knocked on the door it was just stressful...lol. But there weren't too many trick-or-treaters anyways.

Later on we got ready and went to a cartoon character themed party where I went as Jasmine...pictures to come soon!

And, since today is actually Halloween don't be thinking the festivities are over YET! They are showing Psycho at the Springer Opera House and we will be attending...in costume of course! I think I may do something gruesome like a zombie beauty pageant girl or something like that...with cuts/bruises/blood! But we'll see :P

The Electronic Age of Misunderstanding.

2010-10-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

In this new electronic age we live in, we are faced with new issues that one may have never thought of before. Text messaging, e-mails, facebook statuses, notes, blog posts- they are all means of communicating that are not spoken aloud- and in some cases they can cause misunderstanding and feelings to get hurt.

For example- have you ever received a text from someone that seemed hurtful only to realize later that it was a joke/sarcasm? Or experienced a tinge of anxiety when someone responds with a mere "k."? Or when your crush responds to way after after your last text and you've given up all hope only to realize that their phone just died?

On facebook, people are apt to write ambiguous statuses that spark controversy and make others wonder..."Is this about me?" Or they may write a note bashing something or someone and leaving others to figure out who it is, but adding just enough detail that most can figure out who it is. I've also seen people gang up on other's through facebook, causing extreme distress to the victim and making others just look heartless and unnecessarily mean, relishing in the pain they cause.

I've experienced over the years I've kept up this blog that there is a risk of putting your inner thoughts on the internet for all to see and that some like to use it as an outlet to say incredibly hurtful things, hidden behind the name "Anonymous."

Through having this blog I've discovered the extent that people are willing to go to hurt me, hitting at things in my life that are already extremely painful. For example- my father whom I was very close to passed away with Leukemia my freshman year of high school. I was in the hospital seven months throughout this ordeal, basically forgoing any extracurricular activities to be there throughout the entire process, and I dealt with him going into remission only to have it come back and to be told he had 3 days left to live. Dealing with that was not the easiest thing in the world, but his complete and utter strength (He never complained once) taught me not to sweat the small stuff in life. It has helped me with putting things into perspective and is probably why I tend to be really laid-back and not get worked up over things I have no control over.

Well, one day when I happened to be missing him I wrote a blog about it and how I wished he could see me in a show I was in, as he died before I started getting into theatre. Some anonymous coward decided to write that my father as well as GOD would have been ashamed of me, and many other extremely hurtful things. I just couldn't believe that somebody had the audacity to say something like that to me, when I had done nothing to hurt them, yet just decided to express that I missed my father that passed away.

Recently I have dealt with an incident to where my words were grossly misunderstood and skewed, causing me to be indirectly attacked (but it was obvious it was towards me.) In addition, my best friend just had somebody write very harsh, hurtful things in her honesty box on facebook as well. (ah, honesty box. the playground of anonymous cowards.) In both cases, neither of us had done anything to warrant such scathing words.

The bottom line is our feelings were definitely both hurt and it was unnecessary hurtfulness.

There have been other instances where people have written anonymous hurtful things on my blog as well. And I mean I would understand if I wrote things that were actually controversial, but these were all written on very personal blog entries specifically. It's just a horrible feeling to be attacked for no reason, and I suppose in this digital age, the means of communication make it easy for people to hide behind their computer screens and say whatever they want- even though they would never say these things to my face, I'm sure. And to be honest- I'm not even one of those people that wants people to say things like that to my face, either.

And I digress a little bit, but at times it makes me weary to be treated as if I am a villain for wanting to be successful in my career and working my butt off every single day in order to maintain a 3.9 GPA and gain the respect of those that matter in my life, such as my professors and fellow peers, while pursuing something I love and trying to stay sane at the same time. The sanity sometimes slips away, and at times I may be a little anti-social and unable to sustain relationships but I guess that is just the price I have to pay in order to accomplish my goals! This is the only time in my life I will have to do this so I don't think I should waste the time and resources I've been given.

I just think people should take the time to realize that words, no matter if they are spoken to your face or through text, facebook, or any other means can hurt, and we should be using these means to encourage others instead of to bring them down. I just don't think I deserve alot of the wrath that has been given to me and those I am close to. While I try to stay positive, I do have times where things can get to me and I do have insecurities as well- I just try not to dwell on them and use them as a crutch, that's all!

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

2010-10-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

Sucks when they happen to coincide! I was just generally feeling not so hot today. But glad that I'm feeling more positive again now! My directing scene is going well, I made a perfect score on my analysis, and once I make it through much stress of my scene going up, general auditions as well as Sr. Sem auditions, I will get to have fun this weekend because it is Halloween! Yay! For those inquiring minds that want to know, I'm planning on going as Kelly Kapowski from Saved By The Bell.

It's not this exact outfit- but I'm definitely all up in some nineties clothes, and the bangs WILL be teased! Also, I will be reviving my Jasmine costume from last year for a specific cartoon character themed party so that will be fun. At either rate, I enjoy Halloween and it will be a needed break after this week. Lots of stressful things happening but I'll make it through. I always do!

So you know how I mentioned I was an extra on MTV's My Super Psycho Sweet 16 Part 2? Well apparently the movie is out on iTunes already and my friend grabbed a screenshot of my scene.

Woo! Note to self: Have better posture next time I'm on a movie set! Haha. It's pretty cool though, because I'm very visible and clear which may not happen with alot of extra work one may do. But yeah it was a pretty exciting feeling to see yourself on TV even if I didn't have lines necessarily. I'll have you know a funny story behind this scene however- I literally asked this guy a new question about himself every take. It was like my thing so we didn't have to flounder for natural conversation since he seemed a bit shy haha. So I ended up finding out all these random facts about his life, none of which I really remember, but it was pretty funny at the time, haha!

Hopefully next time I'll have some lines though. Thank goodness I've shed a bit of weight as well- the adage "the camera adds ten pounds" is not a lie! =/ but it could be worse I suppose. haha.

Oh also if you haven't noticed, I revamped the blog a bit. I just can't let anything stay the same!

The Theatre.

2010-10-24T09:39:00.000-07:00

The other day in Senior Seminar, we had to discuss our manifestos- basically our final paper's describing what theatre means to us. Well It eventually turned into this emotional crying session as we realized just how much we all absolutely LOVE what we do. There's just something about being in the theatre that is absolutely magical. I mentioned in class that I have a hard time connecting with people in real life at times but when I'm on stage I'm so connected with the audience and those on stage with me. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world! While person-by-person we talked about our views on theatre, the impact it's made on our lives and how much we love it- I couldn't help but humorously ponder- Do Accounting, Business, or other majors sit around and cry about how much they love calculating figures? I mean I understand people who are these majors enjoy what they do, but it just made me be grateful that I am doing something that I am 100%, unabashedly, absolutely in LOVE with. And I must say that is not to say that these majors are not doing something they are in love with as well, as I am not an idiot- but I guess I'm just testifying to the over-dramatic emotional nature of us theatre majors. We're a crazy lot! I just don't think it happens often in other classes where people just sit around and cry in a circle for 2 1/2 hours over how much they love what they do. But if it has then that is pretty awesome. It's so great to do something you love no matter what it is! I think people also should realize that those that are in the theatre don't do it so that they can one day be famous. If I am never a household name or making seven figures a year, I couldn't care less to be honest. I mean it would be cool, but that has and never will be my aspiration in life. I have people asking me what I'm planning on doing after college and I always am befuddled by this question- why, I'm going to act of course! All I want career-wise is to make a living being a successful actress on the stage and/or film. I want to be in a National Tour of a musical. I want to do cabaret shows. I want to learn, take workshops, take dance classes, continue to study voice. I want to live in a little apartment in NYC with a cat, be able to walk to an Indian restaurant, go on auditions every morning and just live and breathe theatre, and the city life, and just everything that goes along with it! I can't wait until that is a reality in my life. but for now I have to get through jumping more hoops for school, but I am finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! :)