happiness.

Happiness- people are contuously in search of it. Some people seem to always be on cloud nine, while others seem to be in a continuous state of depression.

Now, I would say I'm a pretty happy person. I've never taken depression medication, have ever committed suicide, etc. But that's not to say everything in my life has been hunky-dory. I have gone through events in my life that are devastatingly awful! But I really think that we can control our happiness. We can choose to wallow in sadness, or continue living to our fullest capacity. No matter how you were brought up, or whatever has happened in your life- it IS possible to be truly happy! But in order to do so, I think there are some key points to explore in any individual's life, and if one is not attending to these needs, i twill ultimately result in unhappiness.

• Faith. I believe this is the number one factor in determining happiness. I am a Christian, and I know what I believe. I know that I am a sinner, but I have been forgiven which does not mean that I am perfect, and I have no right to judge anyone because we are all in the same boat. It's each individual's choice whether they want to accept the forgiveness, or continue on in life thinking they are right. But when you put your trust in someone bigger than yourself you are able to accept things that happen in your life, good or bad, andknow that there is a reason and a plan for everything. When you have faith, you are simply better able to see the light in dark situations. Most people that do not believe in God are constantly searching for something in their lives...and turn to less than favorable things to fill that void. I personally believe one cannot be completely happy without faith.
  

• Goals. I think that having goals in life is so important- because constantly striving for something gives you somewhat of an anchor. There should always be one major goal, (For me- to make a living doing what I love- acting) And then smaller goals along the way. (To get cast in this local production, even though I won't get paid- I am getting myself out there, getting experience, and building my resume.) Mini goals are like the fuel that keep you going and working your hardest. (Think- ifI am lazy and don't show up to rehearsals, my name will be tainted in the theatre community andI may not be asked to be in a show with this company again- thereby possibly reducing future employment opportunities.) It seems like a no-brainer, right? But personally, it boggles my mind that people will do things like that. If you are goal-conscious, even things like going to a 9 AM math class that has nothing to do with theatre will contribute to your goal. (If I make an A in this class, I can keep up my GPA, thereby enabling me to receive scholarships so thatI don't have to work and take away time from theatre!) Think of what you spend the majority if your time doing. If it is not helping you reach your goal, then change it.

• Personal acceptance and confidence. If you are not happy with the way you look/feel, you are the only person that can do something about it. If you look at yourself in the mirrorandsay, "I am ugly and nobody will love me." Then guess what? More people will pick up on your attitude and they will feed off of that, making them not necessarily want to be around you. But if you decide to love yourself, people will feed off of that and they will love you too!
  
• If you really want to love your body, don't put things in it that will harm it. For example, if you receive your dream car, you would not put maple syrup in the gas tank would you? You would put whatever makes it run the best. If not, your car will punish you by refusing to run. The same with your body. If you continue to put "maple syrup" in your gas tank, (fast food, processed food, sugary soft drinks, cigarettes, drugs) it simply will not run to the best of its capabilities. And as a way of punishment, it will produce more fat cells, resulting in weight gain, create diseases in the body, or just make you feel lethargic/sluggish all the time. When you feel this way, it is hard to really love your body. But when you put things in your body that it really is craving,(water, fruits, veggies, grains, etc.) It begins to thank you by providing you with energy, better brainpower, ridding your body of toxins that cause diseases, and will get rid of excess weight that is bogging you down.
  
• And as superficial as it may sound- girls-fixing your hair and makeup and putting thought into what you wear will have such a profound impact on how you feel about yourself. Granted, the more you love your body and treat it right, the less you feel you will need things like makeup- (ever since I have become a vegetarian and have started thinking about what my body wants instead of what I want to stuff in my face at any given moment- my skin has gotten so much better, and I feel as if I don't need to even wear makeup alot of the time! There was a time when I would never think of leaving the house without makeup or fixing my hair! ) but still, making an effort to look nice is always a mood-booster for me. Finding ways to express yourself through clothes/makeup/hair showcases your individuality to the world! You are unique, and if you are an actor/performer, you are your own product. A concert instrumentalist wouldn't dream of performing with a scuffed,dull instrument with stains on it, right? So why should you! This is where destructive habits also come into play. You are your own instrument. There's only one of you. Make it the best version of you it can be. (This doesn't mean that every single day you should look like you stepped out of a fashion magazine, obviously. Everyone has their bum days and is allowed them. But not everyday please!)
  

• Passion. It is so important to have something to be passionate about in life. (This sort of goes along with goals as well!) Indulging in your passions brings you alive! Do things for YOU and don't depend on others for your happiness. Of course, others can and may bring happiness to you, but if you depend on other people for your sole source of happiness, you will end up hurt and disappointed. You should always have something that makes you happy regardless of whoever else is there. Whether it is artistic or not- there should be something that just makes you so happy that you couldn't dream of life without it. If you have not found your passion yet, go out and explore! Take new classes in something you would never do, like some unknown martial art, or pastry cooking. Heck, take these classes even if you have already found your passion. Having lots of interests and hobbies makes you more open to the world and whats in it. And being open to many different things, as opposed to living in a closed-off bubble (that tends to happen in the south!) will help you connect with more people and will enable you to discover more things about yourself at the same time.

Things that people think constitute happiness but actually do not:

• Having a significant other. Now I know this may seem strange to say. Especially coming from me, as I have a boyfriend. But SO many people get into a relationship and all of a sudden their entire world is that other person. They neglect their interests and other friends, and live in this bubble consisting of them and the other person. This is DANGEROUS because what happens when the relationship ends? There is nothing left. You've expended all your energy on the other person. You're done. And that is when depression hits for some people. It's also dangerous for people that are continually in relationships- never being single. These people constantly use their significant other as their main forms of happiness, never being happy on their own. A significant other is definitely A source of happiness, I am definitely happy being with Matt! But a boyfriend has never been my MAIN source of happiness. Of course, we are human, and we all want companionship, and if you have been single for a while, there is nothing wrong with wanting someone there- but don't settle for anyone, make sure it is someone that adds on to you as a person-not one that takes things away from you,whether it be your individuality, or just specific quirky traits that you quell just to seem "sane." haha

• There are definitely other things that people constitute for happiness, but I won't harp on it. Things like money, promiscuous sex, etc. all have their downsides and you don't need me to tell you that. But I hope that my blog has provided the tiniest bit of insight. I don't know why I was compelled to write this- maybe some random web-surfer in Wyoming, or South Africa needed to hear it. I just thought I should share some deeper thoughts :O)
  

It's just a jump to the left.

So lately things have been going great.
I've been eating vegetarian for about 3 weeks now, and I'm working out at the gym reguarly- and my body hasn't felt this great in a LONG time. I feel so refreshed and healthy! I love it. Granted, be becoming vegetarian I haven't just simply "cut out" all meat and just eat peanut butter sandwiches and mashed potatoes all the time. I eat 75% vegetables and fruit and the rest is filled with whole grain oats like oatmeal, Kashi cereal, rice, and whole grain toast. And don't worry. I get all my protein and iron =]

But besides from that, everything else is going well. My biology class isn't near as bad as I thought it would be. My teacher is pretty great and since I have been eating a balanced breakfast every morning I have been feeling awake and energized! I just made a 94 on my first exam, also so that's pretty cool =]

Rocky rehearsals are going well! We just started choreography for the time warp and its such a fun dance. The show is going to be INSANE but a ton of fun for us and for anyone who comes to see it! (Which I hope you all do- it opens on July 23rd and runs until around Aug 22nd at the new ChatShakes facility which is across from the old Bradley theatre on Broadway in Downtown Columbus.)

Another thing- I got my hair cut! I feel so spunky now, I love it.And I am getting new headshots done today, so that I can mail them out along with my resumes to agencies! I just feel like this next year...something big is going to happen to me. I can feel it. I don't know what- but something GREAT! Whatever it is, I will continue to work hard and achieve my goals nonetheless.

I love it.

A fresh outlook.

So Into The Woods is over now, and I've had some time to rejuvenate. I have had such a blast working on the show- everything about it was just a luxury. I didn't have to strike the set afterwards, I had my own cool dressing room station, got to work with a great director, and super castmates. But now that this whirlwind of a show is over, I've been spending time at the pool, and with Matt- (We actually went on a DATE! yay!) Basically, it's been great. But now it is time to crack down now and get a job and so on.

But the rejuvenation will not end- since I have my free membership to Gold's gym, I have been frequently working out again, and I feel awesome. I need to get my butt in shape for Rocky Horror, definitely, but besides that I just want to feel great about myself and my body. I have also been eating very healthy lately, and I am seriously contemplating becoming vegan.

This was spurred by my reading the book "Skinny Bitch" (The authors admitted to using the term merely for shock value and attention, although it has really good information regarding health/the food industry that you should know!)

And it's not just from reading that one book, either. I knew about these things before from reading "Natural Cures they don't want you to know about" (Which is a VERY enlightening and great read), and other research I have done- but of course I have been living the college lifestyle and just getting out of sync with things.

So here are the reasons why I think I want to become a vegan:

-I barely ever eat meat anyways. The most I eat is frozen chicken tenderloins, but after being reminded of all the hormones/antibiotics/chemicals that they pump into chicken, and how cruelly they are killed, it makes me not want to eat it. And the term rotting animal carcass... not appetizing.
- Milk products are not good for you! Visit this website and read up on some of the articles, especially the Famous Milk Letter. Now again, I have always known this, and there are PLENTY of articles and legitimate research on the topic. Before you go crazy on me and say that it is ridiculous to say that milk is bad, just think of this: Would we drink the milk of cats or dogs regularly? of course not. The milk is formulated specifically for the kittens and puppies that is is made for. So why do we drink cow's milk? Isn't it formulated specifically for the calf? But the cow is the largest milk-producing animal and can be marketed the best, using mechanical machines to pump out as much as they can. And contrary to popular belief, milk and dairy can contribute to many health problems. (And calcium can be found in plenty of other things besides milk.) So from now on- nothing but Almond Breeze for me! (A milk substitute that literally tastes JUST like milk, but is way lower in calories and is made from almonds which have healthy fats that you need!)

I don't mean to go off on a tangent or act self-righteous or anything. But I'm just saying, it all makes sense. Of course the USDA puts out things like the food pyramid (which is really not the end-all-be all of health, fyi) because the organization was started originally to help FARMERS. Not the consumers. And the FDA as well- it's all about the money. And that is just the sick world we live in. I could get into all that but I won't.

Bottom line is this. I feel like I should only put things into my body that will help me, not hurt me. Things that are fresh and from the earth and that are not chock full of chemicals that are only there to make the food companies more money. Being healthier makes me feel great, and is better for me and for my career. And as a result, hey, I may drop a few pounds as well.

=]

I can't complain!

So, lately things have really been working out well for me. I have become really career focused as of late- and I feel as if my hard work is FINALLY starting to make itself known, and that I am starting to make a name for myself theatrically. Into The Woods is going wonderfully, and we started tech today. The set is breathtakingly gorgeous, especially on the midnight scenes, as we have a fiber-optic star cyc, and an amazing lighting designer, and of course Steve's set design is amazing as well. Everyone is doing so well and just everything about the show is so professional and awesome. It feels so cool to perform on the Bill Heard stage- the same one that Broadway tours perform on- and the view of the audience from the stage is reminiscent of the "Think of Me" scene in Phantom of the Opera, when you can see Christine's perspective- it's just really really really cool. =]

We open Friday (AHH!) But I'm really excited about it. And what makes it even better is that after a few weeks, I get to start on another show! Rocky Horror at Chatshakes. Of course, in the meantime I will also be taking a Biology with a lab, as well as trying to find a job. But I have to say that so far, I am enjoying the life of theatre without classes, haha. Makes me eager to graduate! Although I enjoy college thoroughly, and am grateful for the growth that I have and will continue to make throughout my studies.

Another good thing about my life right now is our super awesome new apartment! I will post some pictures up once I actually clean/decorate my room, haha. But everything about it is perfect. The only complaint I could possibly have is the fact that I have to drive everyday now, but it's not like the majority of everyone else in this town doesn't have to, so whatever haha.

And more good news of my life; what started out to actually be pretty sad news (I dropped my ipod into a cup of water) turned into something grand! (My mom is letting me get an ipod touch, since I got a pretty great scholarship =] )

Oh yeah, and I have a free membership to Gold's Gym right now because of Chatshakes! (Thank you Troy!)

And did I mention I have a cat now? Well, he is Robin's cat from home, but it is so great to have a warm snuggly animal at my disposal! =]

CougarOne gave me $37 randomly! Wee!

So life is pretty great. Theatre makes me feel alive. I have a shiny new electronic toy in the mail, state of the art workout equipment at my disposal, free money for having good grades, my own homey place to live, and a cat. Wee!

An ode to Andrew Miller

reminiscence

So another semester has finally come to a close. Let's take a trip down memory lane!

New Years 2009! Lots of fun at Robin's neighborhood block party =] (It's really bizarre seeing pictures of me with blonde hair now, haha)

Club Europe with Augustans! SOO much fun. Nothing like getting dressed up with a bunch of friends and dancing until you can't dance anymore, then getting McDonalds at 4 AM, then crashing in bed after the 1 and a half hour drive.




Steinberg Convocation! This was an evening filled with yummy snacks, potato gun adventures, and a rousing game of Apples to Apples which I dominated. bahaha. I love the Steinberg family!



I just have to note one of my strange hair escapades- that awkward time I decided to sponge roll my hair and I looked like Shirley Temple..Haha!

Fat Men in Skirts! What a crazy show. I enjoyed it so much and I had so much fun being POPO especially, haha. All the people involved are wonderful!

Class voice adventures-Debbie Anderson is my best friend.

Doing makeup for The Cripple of Inishmaan on lovely Lena! What a great experience! I was so honored to have even been trusted to do it.

This semester I discovered OSAKAS- the restaurant of heavenly delights. SUSHI.

4 words: STRESS FREE SPRING BREAK (And new hair!)

Future Roommates! =]

Me and Chase were the coolest Stage Managers ever.

Situations was a blast! Robin's choreography was pure fabulosity.

Machinal tech. I was the Assistant Props Master. Probably one of the best shows to tech ever!

The day of the tornado. Probably one of the scariest days of my life. Although me and Matt were hippies before the storm really took off. =]

APO BALL! Sooo much fun as usual. I just love to get dressed up and dance =]

Dance Extravaganza! It was so much fun this year, because I was in more than just one dance, haha! I especially loved "You Can't Stop The Beat" because it was such a blast of energy and so much fun to do.

I wish I had more pictures, but as usual, I forget. But I think this pretty much sums up the semester... I have enjoyed every second of it and have made memories that will last a lifetime. It's hard to believe I am at the halfway point of my college career! I know there is so much more for me out there, and I can't wait to see what happens next in these couple upcoming chapters of my life =]