In the sun

So life as of late has been quite interesting, lots of new things happening- I started my new job (Red Robin,) bought some new things with said money from new job which was nice seeing as I never buy myself anything cool really. I actually got a webcam finally, which I have been meaning to get. I consider it an investment in my acting career- because I mean there are just so many video-auditions these days, and so many people get opportunities from YouTube! So be on the lookout soon for my new channel. The world may never be the same...haha! :P Also I am thinking of getting Skype, I just don't know who all has one. So out yourself, fellow skypers!

Also, I've just had a great time meeting new people lately, which is great, and I'm having a blast- but I'm also trying to not rush into anything- I definitely do need some time for myself still!

Theatrically, my life is going well- I just had my audition for this year's season of the Springer Opera House last night, and I am being considered for the leads in High School Musical and did a reading which is very cool! I'm also getting excited for Spelling Bee in the fall... even though it is kind of pushed in the back of my mind at the moment, everytime a song comes on my shuffle on my iPod I get a little tinge of excitement! =]

I'm just enjoying some time away from hecticness, being able to just lounge at my pool or stop over at the mall whenever I want is very very nice. Even though I'm taking a class right now, it's so easy that it doesn't even phase me at all.

Also, I've downloaded some great new music, and can definitely make some recommendations-
-She & Him- Zooey Deschanel's band, very summer-esque and wistful.
-Florence and the Machine- Reminds me of a mix between Fiona Apple, Kate Nash, and Regina Spektor.
-La Roux- Electronic/pop. Very fun. Love it.
-Pomplamoose- my best friend Erin showed me this band and I'm in love. They are kind of like The Bird and The Bee. They have some really awesome covers- my favorite is this one:

Shop with me!

So today I went window shopping. I couldn't really buy anything since I am pretty much broke, but once I start my new job at Red Robin that won't be the case anymore! :D (I start tomorrow night by the way. training for 6 hours haha.)

In my shopping adventure, I found a few items that I really want...
One is a pair of jeans leggings. Now at first I was unsure of how I felt about them, and I wasn't sure how they would look on me, but it turns out that I think if you get a good quality pair like these ones from Express, they are pretty great.
That is what they look like on a fashion model. Here is what they look like on a normal person like me (along with some super cute tops from Express, as well. I especially love the turquoise one!) I really like Express because alot of the clothes are really figure flattering on curvy gals like me. I really liked this skirt because it was shaped with wide hip-room :P

Moving on from Express, I actually decided to walk into the Rave. Now, I know what you are thinking- The Rave?! But I actually find really cute things there, and not bad quality, really! I have a cute studded sweater from there that is still in good shape after a fall/winter season, and I'm pretty sure I got it for like $5.
But the whole reason I stopped in there was because I saw this particular dress on the mannequin in the front and was like.. ahhh so cute!

And to boot- it's super duper comfortable. I really want it. I have an affinity for one-shoulder things, and black dresses, so what a perfect combo haha.

Another thing I want this summer season, along with jeans leggings and this flowy one-shoulder dress is a romper. This one was super cute- I definitely think I would need a belt with it though. But it's just flowy and cottony and breezy and perfect for the summer months! (My purse strap is awkwardly sitting there haha)
But there we go- a window shopping journey. I can't wait until I get some money so I can buy a couple things without feeling super duper guilty, haha.

An exhale

Ahh...so the semester and year is officially over. The amount of relaxation that I feel is unparalleled! It's just so nice to be free from everything stressful going on- classes, rehearsals, etc. Yesterday I had a day of complete relaxation- I went to the pool and hung out with my new roommates Melissa and Chase, watched T.V., ate brownies, etc. It was very nice, although today I had to make up for my day of not accomplishing anything by going job hunting and accomplishing a myriad of other errands. It turned out quite successfully though-I think I may be getting a job at Red Robin which is nice. Buffalo Wild Wings seemed like another option as well. But at any rate, I'm excited about the notion of making my own money again and watching my bank account increase as well as dwindle away... it gets depressing lol. But yes, so today was successful!

Tomorrow I am headed to Panama City Beach and I am beyond excited. I haven't been to the beach since my Stress Free Spring Break, I think! Which wasn't a true beach trip since it was too cold =[ But it should be nice and warm, now which is exciting. And I'm going with a bunch of pretty fun people and staying at a nice beach house with a private pool and beach, for free! Can't beat that. I went out and bought some groceries today for the trip, including lots of yummy raw veggies and fruit. =] I'm excited to just lay out by the pool and relax and maybe go out and get dressed up at night. That is always a fun notion.

I have to say that I have more of a carefree attitude on life at the moment. I'I feel like I'm just generally being able to have fun with people. I like it.

wee

So, now I'm heading towards the end of my junior year in college. Wow. It is hard to believe.
In this past year, I honestly feel like I've done so much growing up. I've gone through alot of struggle, and overcame alot of obstacles and really came through on top. This is the year that all the hard work that I have put into this theatre department has finally paid off and I feel as if I have prevailed! It really is a nice feeling. I got a great role in Crazy For You and received the ACTF nomination, I got cast as Ms Peretti in Spelling Bee next fall, I passed on to SETC, I got inducted into APO, I made all A's in everything including Directing 1- a challenge that I was nervous to undertake, I've made great strides in Meisner class, I got cast as a great role in the One-Acts- alot of these things came to pass and I am so very grateful and appreciative of them.

Amid my successes that I've had, I've also dealt with really stressful situations regarding relationships and such. At this point I question my ability to maintain a relationship at all, and my ability to be able to really let myself let down my guard completely. I don't know if I have ever been able to do that, actually- completely let down my guard- I think that is the reason why I tend to be so independent. Usually I would rather just come home after class/rehearsal and do homework by myself rather than just hang out with a boyfriend. Even when in a relationship I tend to be in the "single life" mindset. So from here on out, I have decided that I definitely am just not going to be in a relationship, until after college. Because firstly I don't know of anyone that I would date, and secondly I don't know of anyone that would be able to date me. Because I don't know what people think, but I'm not an easy person to date. Not that I'm high maintenance, and annoying, or overly clingy, or I'm jealous all the time, but I'm really different than most other girls when it comes to relationships in the fact that I'm emotionally like the guy (in a relationship) I'm not a very emotional person to begin with, I don't get angry or upset very easily and I'm pretty laid back and go with the flow. But it's very strange...like, I'll read these articles in girly magazines regarding relationships and I find myself on the guy's side- like I sympathize with the guy because that is how I feel! Haha. I'm not quite sure what this says about me. But that's just how it is.

So anyways, I'm content being single at the moment and focusing on schoolwork and getting out of here and moving on to bigger and better things with my life. Besides, I'm taking Directing 3 in the fall which is going to take alot out of me, along with Spelling Bee and 2 hard main campus classes. I'm excited but it's definitely going to be alot of work, I can tell.

Regardless, I'm totally ready for this semester to be over....one more week!!! And I'll be done! =]

I want.

So apparently Christina Hendricks was voted sexiest woman by Esquire. Shown above with Lea Michele, you can see that she is not exactly waif-like- but quite a curvy gal. And to that I say BRAVO! Finally, curvy women- you know those with a chest and a booty, are getting the recognition they deserve! I feel like its due time. I mean, of course, I am an advocate for a healthy lifestyle, but sometimes you just can't help the body shape you are born with. Some girls have big hips- it's their bones, they can't help it. So why can't we have cute dresses, too!? The fashion industry seems to cater to the super-skinnies. But honestly, is a ghost-like figure like Nicole Richie really THAT attractive?! I think not. But honestly, sometimes I wish I was smaller and that I could get away with wearing certain things that other girls can beacuse they don't have as big hips or chest as I do. But back in the 40s/50s, women with a shape to them were celebrated, and there were plenty of clothes that catered to that fashion. (Why do you think I love retro fashion!) Nowadays, however, it's very hard for me to find a dress that, say, has enough room up top while still having a small waist. They just assume everyone is small all over, or big all over. Where is the fashion mindset of days gone by? So basically, that is why I wish I could afford stuff from this website:www.pinupgirlclothing.com. I just feel as if all those styles actually are meant for someone with my body type and these clothes and shoes are TO DIE FOR CUTE.. Just look at some of this cuteness!

So while things lately in my life have been going well, especially theatrically- (I got the ACTF nomination for Crazy for You! yay! I got into APO! yay! I am Ms. Peretti in the 25th Annual Putnam Co. Spelling Bee in the fall! yay! 83 Down is going well! yay!) Personally, I'm feeling emotionally and physically drained. I'm battling post-show sickness, my nerves are shot, and I'm just feeling sad. I'm normally not like this, so it definitely takes alot to make me feel this way. There are events that have happened recently that I am not going to get into- but that just make me question certain things in my life and I feel as if I'm going to have to make a decision I never really wanted to make... I know I'm being somewhat vague- but if anyone is reading just know I'm going through a tough time. =/
At this moment I am just feeling very down and I hate it. I'm honestly just so glad this semester is almost over, I need this summer to rejuvenate myself I think.

I'm really trying to focus on doing my structural analysis for theatre history but I just can't right now...ugh.

Buhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Let me give you the lowdown.

So, we start tech tomorrow for Crazy For You. (AHH!)

I've come to the conclusion that it is entirely impossible to do this show without the process being completely, well- crazy! Pretty much everything you could throw into a show to make it difficult, this show has it. (40 actors, a ginormous set, huge production numbers, tap dancing, cues in the triple letter range, etc.) And then you add on top of that a director that was in China for 2 weeks, a generally rambunctious cast, a non-cooperative collaboration with the Schwob, and things are bound to get sticky.

Lately I have been feeling alot of negativity surrounding this show... and to be honest last night it really hit me how upset it made me after I heard a comment someone made, insinuating that they didn't care about their perfomance and that they were not going to do their best. I was SO mad. Because you know what? I love performing. I love being on stage. I love being in musicals. I honestly love this show. Yes, its cheesy and the plot may be contrived... but I just love the music, the time period, and the style of the show, because it's just FUN. I was really excited to do this show when it was announced, but at the start it was met with negativity from others, just because it's not a trendy, dark, contemporary musical.

And you know after auditions I maybe did not get the role I wanted, but I did get a very good role that I've grown to love over this process. I am not the person that gets cast in every mainstage, and I understand that I just don't fit alot of the shows we do here. But this is my thing....and I feel like it's my time to shine- and it just is a shame when people aren't putting their whole effort into it because I feel shortchanged, honestly. Because every single time I go on stage to rehearse, I give my absolute all. And I am working hard out there, as are many others in the cast, of course! But then- I feel like there are certain people that come across as they don't care and that just bugs me so much, because if you don't CARE...then WHY are you here? Why would you even be in theatre if you don't enjoy it with all of your soul and being? And why would you not do your best? I don't understand that at all. And it makes those that do care seem shortchanged because if everyone is not giving their all, then the show is not going to be the best that it could be.

Contrary to the negative opinion some like to swirl about this show, it is going to be an awesome show overall. It really is unlike anything I have ever seen CSU do... I really think people will be surprised at the talent our department has! I'm actually pretty proud of it... but lately I just am getting more and more frustrated with the negativity that surrounds it. There is no use for that here. This is an educational theatre setting, and we need to all learn to be mature and make the best of our situations. I just wish people would have more fun while at the same time taking it seriously. I know it will all come together wonderfully. It's just a stressful time for everyone right now what with starting tech week, and one-acts, and general auditions next week, and homework assignments, etc... But I really can't wait for the show to open because I know that it is going to be so much fun! =]