So, I officially am the most accident prone when it comes to technology more than anyone I know. I just got my brand new phone, the Razzle, like...last week. And lo and behold- today I was texting while walking down the street, managed to trip over a curb, and faceplanted on the ground, with my phone in my hand as it slammed onto the hard concrete. So, the screen is cracked and it's just banged up in general. Along with my knee which was scraped and banged up as well. :( So there it goes. I just can't manage to keep any piece of technology intact. Thankfully, the phone still works fine, it just has a cracked screen, along with my iPod touch. I'm really frustrated with myself. But maybe I can take it to Verizon? I'm not sure. Anyways. So is life.
On a more positive note, rehearsals for Crazy For You are going well, I'm getting really excited about it! We also found out the season for next year- it is The 25th Annual Putnam Co. Spelling Bee, The Crucibe, Eurydice, and As You Like it. I'm already killing for Olive in Spelling Bee...aaahhh I'm really excited! Such good shows, and great roles for women, too. =] But now, I am focusing on Crazy For You- and One-Acts are coming up as well! So in the theatre aspect of my life, "Things are looking up!"
I've also been back on track with eating right and working out. I had been slacking off and feeling awful about it, snacking on too many chips and dip, etc., but now NO MORE. I am bringing my meals everyday instead of eating at the market and saving money, too. So that's good.
Lately I've been having this strange mix of emotions that range from high to low, back and forth. On one hand, I am really happy with Nick. Everything just feels so natural and comfortable and easy, and I just love being around him... but at the same time I feel down because when I get around certain people, I can't shake the feeling like I'm doing something wrong, even though I know I am most certainly am not. It's a feeling like we're not allowed to be happy together or something. Which is ridiculous, but I can't help the way I feel. And I also feel ostracized because of it. And it could just be me taking everything really personally, which I am probably doing...but it's still something that has been bothering me, and I have realized that recently it's been bothering me more than I thought or like to let on...
I just hate feeling like the bad guy all the time, just because I am happy. I'm sorry that I'm happy and that my happiness may or may not be the cause of other people's unhappiness, but there is just nothing that I can do about it... I am just trying to live my life to the fullest, I don't intentionally hurt anyone, I think I'm a pretty nice person...but it's whatever. I'm probably over-reacting. I just find it unfair, that is all.
The good thing is that for the most part I am really happy, I just think I let other people get to me more than I should sometimes. Which is something I'm trying to let go of- trying to make everyone happy. Because it is just impossible.
But I still love life and what I'm doing, and am on a positive track for the semester, and I think everything is going to work out and be fine. =]
2 comments:
If you're happy then that's what matters. You aren't hurting anyone by being happy. I think that everyone deserves happiness and your friends, above all people, would understand that.
Such a great season for you next year! I could see you in almost any of the female roles in spelling bee.
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