yeah...

Things at this moment could definitely be better.
The most annoying thing at this moment is that I'm suffering from daily pain in my right hip, which come to find out I had a birth defect called hip dysplasia as a baby which can be fixed then, but apparently can come back after repeated stress around a person in their twenties. It makes it so walking hurts, and I have stopped working out as well. I need to go see a doctor about it, but I have to get all this paperwork switched around so I have health insurance with the military hospital...I'm just worried because I may potentially need to have surgery to get it corrected, and that is just not something I want to deal with. =/

But it is really annoying as I can't even pop my hip to the right side basically...and I find myself limping at times...it is just a stressful thing to think about as I have to dance for Putnam, and I don't want to not be able to be in the show or something. Ugh.

Also I'm just frustrated with a certain situation because I don't know what I want when it comes to relationships and the sort. I just feel like sometimes I just am not able to like be there for people that I really care about and that I just am not capable of being in a relationship anymore. I think it just comes down to me being selfish. I just want to do what I want at all times and not worry about hurting someone's feelings. And like everything could be going fine when I'm seeing someone- but all of a sudden like something switches off in my brain that makes me just get all weird and wanting to be alone all the time. I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. Oh well.. I will figure it all out I suppose.

And like I'm reading all this stuff about the oil spill and it just makes me depressed because I feel like we have really screwed up our world. I just get so frustrated with big government and corporations and how greed really is the root of all our problems, and America is dying of cancer from processed food and prescription drugs and nobody has a cure for anything because the medical industry is one of the biggest businesses in America. Idk I'm just in a really negative mood right now about the world we live in and am just frustrated in general.