lethargy is setting in.

So lately I really have just felt...so..LAZY.
I seriously don't get out of bed until about 1:30 every day when I can. It is so weird because usually I have never slept in THAT late, you know?
And I never can seem to get to bed, either.
And then I don't really do anything productive unless I'm working at Express, which I haven't been working there that much, really.
And I also have not worked out not once since I've been home, whereas my mom and Richard go running every day.
And I definitely feel as if I have gained weight...but it's probably due to all the gourmet bread my mom brings home and the cookies she makes, haha.
But I know that I should tell myself... "Well go running, then!" But whenever they go it's always earlier than when I get up, and I find myself SO exhausted until about 1:30 when I find the nerve to get myself out of bed.
It's completely ridiculous, really.
I'm totally ready to go back to school and start doing something productive! I'm sick of feeling worthless.
Also I miss Matt so much, too.

On another note, I had a good Christmas. It still doesn't feel the same as when I was younger... I never feel the anticipation of it anymore. Probably because I know pretty much exactly what I'm going to get- it's always money for college. I'll get a couple doo-dads like lip gloss or socks or something. But it's always just college money, which I need and which is really all I want so it's cool, but it kind of takes away that feeling of surprise which was always really fun.
It's nice to be with the family, too, I suppose. But really I am ready to start the new semester...

Oh and also I got my hair cut and colored! My hair was looking pretty rough becuase my roots were showing, and the blonde had turned brassy, and my ends were horribly damaged to the point where I had to untangle huge knots everytime i washed it. But now it is bouncy and healthy and I love it =]

Why have I not listened to her before?

Yelle.
She's crazy. She's French.
I love this song, and her album "Pop Up" is awesome!

Weaving is a man's game.

So just in time... right after me and the pinata watched the whole first season of Flight of the Conchords the past 3 days while gorging ourselves on pizza, ice cream, and chips (From which i thought I was dying from junk food overload the next day), I find that the FIRST EPISODE from the NEW SEASON is online! I already watched it and am so excited for the next season. If you have never seen Flight of the Conchords...I highly recommend it. It is so ridiculously stupidly funny and probably the dryest humor you will ever see. But brilliant.

Anyways, here is a link to the 2nd season's first episode: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c48f423bdf/season-2-online-premiere-flight-of-the-conchords-from-flight-of-the-conchords

Funnyness aside, I'm a little bummed at the moment.
So last night I was driving home from Columbus and I had about 30 miles left to go, I was almost home. Now, I normally drive about 80 on the 70 mph highway, as does everyone else usually. Well we were all going down a large hill, and everyone else around me was of course going faster, as was I, and apparently I was going 89. All of a sudden there were about 3 cop cars with their lights on, catching everyone and of course I was one of them. Now, I have never even gotten a speeding ticket or been pulled over before so it was pretty scary... and I ended up getting a ticket of course. Since I was clocked for 19 over it's sure to be pretty hefty, too. *sigh* as long as I don't get my license taken away... which I don't think they will as it's under 20 and it's my first offense. But the thought scares me! =/
Anyways, yeah. Thanks for the wonderful Christmas present, Warren County!

Reminiscing.

So, a third semester of college is under my belt! It's hard to believe, really. I feel like I've been through SO much these past three semesters.... so much has changed.Remember when I had short, dark hair and Robin had long hair? Haha... this was the Welcome Back picnic from last year first semester. It seems like forever ago!
This was our awkward meal at Ryan's with the other incoming freshmen whom we didn't know yet. haha
Fun times at Nick's!

I was on the attack with swiffer. There is video and photographic evidence of this.
I loved our Soulja Boy and Cupid Shuffle dance party in our living room!
The three Brunettes of 2D!

Then we had those strange gatherings at Dylan's.... oh lordy haha.

Me and Catherine did the Miss CSU pageant together! It was lots of fun. I love her!
Rehearsing for One Night Only- it was a great show.
Halloween was a blast!
We had our picture taking day down by the Riverwalk...Model time!
The infamous peanut butter incident.
Robin and I's Christmas party was a great time....
As was the Sadie Hawkins dance! (Which I did not have a date to, nor did I this year...even though I was dating someone both years lol)
our 50s murder mystery thing!

Schoolhouse Rock was a Blast! We toured all of second semester totaling over 60 shows.
Spring Break at Tybee!
I did Tech for Blood Wedding.

And I also got a job working at Picasso's!

Me and Robin's Easter Picture which we call "All the happiness in the world!"
IHOP visits were frequent!
Being on tour makes you crazy sometimes.

The beginning of our Sophomore year! Brittain and Megan hosted a potluck dinner.
We played in the field!
Right after I tormented Robin with the wet straw paper. bwahahaha
Me and Robin decided to host a dinner party.
We all didn't get cast. So we decided to dye our hair.
Barrett had his bday party again and Schoolhouse Rock had a revival! haha.

We all had a free weekend so we went to Six Flags!
GTC: we met up with the Harlem folks which was super fun!
We are all so weird! Robin and I did tech for Batboy. GRUELING!
The batboy gala!
I got some turquoise clip-ins... haha this was the batboy after party!

Halloween '08: Barbie and Ken. We were in the costume shop for Halloween and Kim let us play with the costumes! Fun!

Our first trip to Club Europe!

Gotta love stage makeup.

"This is What Happens When..." Was a ton of fun.

Jennifer threw matt, me and Robin a surprise bday party...although Robin and I knew.

Our second adventure to Club Europe! Although the guys aren't shown here.

The pinata and I's official birthday date at the Springer...we went and got sushi and then saw Peter Pan!

All in all I could say this semester has been pretty amazing. I have made some new great friends like Matt, Alex, Omar, Jennifer, Andrew, etc....And also I gained a new boyfriend, Matt aka the pinata. =] He is totally wonderful! Anyways, I sure do hope next semester can be just as good as this one was. My college career has been filled with many twists and turns and I can only wonder what lies ahead!

fabulous!

So I was searching for 60s hairstyles online for my basic design project... and I happened to come across these pictures of Jessica Alba and I had to post them because I just could not get over how gorgeous her dresses were. And she looks amazing as well!






And hello Heidi Klum! Looking fabulous as well! I especially love her shoes. Well her whole outfit is great, a little short for my taste but hey, she looks great and she's not that young so I give her props.

It's been better.

SO I knew it was going to happen. As soon as I returned from Thanksgiving break the stress was going to start...and just keep building and building... closing in on me. It's like the stress is broken up into 4 walls that are creating pressure on me... One wall being grades, mainly. I feel as if the pressure to get all A's again is driving me crazy sometimes. But I can't stop myself, I can't just say, "Oh it doesn't matter if I get a B on this project..." I feel like I just always do the absolute best I can on everything which of course, takes time, but if I don't I just am not satisfied with myself. I guess it comes from my constant drive to be great or the best at everything I ever try to do and if I come across something that I can't do I generally avoid it...(Sports, anyone?) And if I am not at the top of my game 24/7 I just feel lousy. For example, today I felt like I had a bad day in Acting class...and it just gets me down and I shouldn't let it get to me that much but it does.

And I feel like I don't have enough time to get anything done because I am rehearsing all the time, now rehearsals for Fat Men in Skirts is coming on strong, 3 hours a day with weekends off but then on the weekends I have Kapow rehearsals, and on top of that I am now in a directing scene again... and in the midst of this are my birthday, my boyfriends birthday, AND my best friend's birthday celebrations. Yay for me and the closest people's in my lives birthdays falling on the most stressful point of the semester! haha. So it sucks, because I want to be all celebratory, obviously but I feel like in the back of my head I am going to be thinking that I should be working on my basic project... because all the other times I'm rehearsing or in class!

And then on top of everything else I have to worry about the state of our apartment... and of course it's cluttered at the moment. There is always clothes strewn about the bedroom, and I'm working on my basic project so that stuff is out in the living room, and its not even GROSS at all its just cluttered, but of course we get a room inspection yesterday and the only reason we didn't fail is because Robin was like crying at the time because she is stressed out as well...uhhh..

And then I'm trying to lose some weight and work out but I never have time to and I just still feel gross and I need to get my hair trimmed and cut because its like straw at the ends and the color is grown out so I just feel really.. not attractive 99% of the time.

So yeah in general I am stressed, feeling not good enough, overworked, exhausted, and ugly.

And as much as I kind of would say CHRISTMAS COME ALREADY... I kind of don't... like it would be great if classes just ceased and everyone was still here and we could all live here for 2 weeks... but just actually going HOME is stressful to me... and over Thanksgiving I realized how much I really missed my dad and how weird sometimes it is that I feel out of place in my own home on the holidays.

I love my stepfamily, I really do, they are all great and I have nothing bad I could say about them, but its weird because it is me, my mom, my stepdad, his parents, and his daughters. I never see anyone else in my actual family because for one, half of them still live in Germany, and the other half doesn't speak to my mom and they live in Chicago anyways. My step-sisters kind of trade off and will spend half of a holiday with us then half with their mom, but it's like I don't get to see anyone else in my family. And sometimes everyone will be over and it's weird to think that I'm not actually related to anyone here but my mom. No matter how hard you try to fit yourself into this new family, it's never going to be the same as if they WERE your family, you know? Idk. Maybe eventually they will start to feel like real family... it is just hard to explain I suppose unless you know where I'm coming from! And I was telling this to my mom and she told me, "Well they are your family now" and it's just weird to say that this is my like immediate family when it ISNT! They are all great and wonderful people but I can't just make my brain believe they are like my actual family... I mean my mom is closer to them because, obviously, she's married to my step dad so she is with him and the family all of the time, but I'm in college gone for months at a time and then when I come home it doesn't feel like true "family" time.
The last time I have even felt like I spent a Christmas with all my family was when my Uncle from Germany came to visit us while my Dad was in the hospital, and then he was on remission for a few weeks during Christmas and we all spent that together. And that was probably 4 years ago or so?

Sometimes I'm envious of people who have these large families and have all this fun without anything being awkward...


Idk. Holidays are just weird sometimes and I have just been really feeling it lately. I hope it won't be that bad this Christmas... I just miss the way things used to be sometimes.

Uhhhdsf;adsjf;lkjsd. I dont even know.

I'm glad though that I have great friends and a wonderful boyfriend who supports me and who understands the things I am going through right now =]
And I'm in shows, and having fun and doing pretty well in my classes...and I am healthy. So I really don't have too much to complain about, I suppose... I just am really stresseeeddddd!!! ahh