wee

So, now I'm heading towards the end of my junior year in college. Wow. It is hard to believe.
In this past year, I honestly feel like I've done so much growing up. I've gone through alot of struggle, and overcame alot of obstacles and really came through on top. This is the year that all the hard work that I have put into this theatre department has finally paid off and I feel as if I have prevailed! It really is a nice feeling. I got a great role in Crazy For You and received the ACTF nomination, I got cast as Ms Peretti in Spelling Bee next fall, I passed on to SETC, I got inducted into APO, I made all A's in everything including Directing 1- a challenge that I was nervous to undertake, I've made great strides in Meisner class, I got cast as a great role in the One-Acts- alot of these things came to pass and I am so very grateful and appreciative of them.

Amid my successes that I've had, I've also dealt with really stressful situations regarding relationships and such. At this point I question my ability to maintain a relationship at all, and my ability to be able to really let myself let down my guard completely. I don't know if I have ever been able to do that, actually- completely let down my guard- I think that is the reason why I tend to be so independent. Usually I would rather just come home after class/rehearsal and do homework by myself rather than just hang out with a boyfriend. Even when in a relationship I tend to be in the "single life" mindset. So from here on out, I have decided that I definitely am just not going to be in a relationship, until after college. Because firstly I don't know of anyone that I would date, and secondly I don't know of anyone that would be able to date me. Because I don't know what people think, but I'm not an easy person to date. Not that I'm high maintenance, and annoying, or overly clingy, or I'm jealous all the time, but I'm really different than most other girls when it comes to relationships in the fact that I'm emotionally like the guy (in a relationship) I'm not a very emotional person to begin with, I don't get angry or upset very easily and I'm pretty laid back and go with the flow. But it's very strange...like, I'll read these articles in girly magazines regarding relationships and I find myself on the guy's side- like I sympathize with the guy because that is how I feel! Haha. I'm not quite sure what this says about me. But that's just how it is.

So anyways, I'm content being single at the moment and focusing on schoolwork and getting out of here and moving on to bigger and better things with my life. Besides, I'm taking Directing 3 in the fall which is going to take alot out of me, along with Spelling Bee and 2 hard main campus classes. I'm excited but it's definitely going to be alot of work, I can tell.

Regardless, I'm totally ready for this semester to be over....one more week!!! And I'll be done! =]