So this is Christmas..

You know, this has been quite the unique Christmas season I have to say.
For one, it's been weird not being in school and having the obligatory 2 week Christmas break period. I have to live in the real world and work and such and it's just...strange.
Oddly, I feel very alone this Christmas. Without being with family, or a significant other or what have you it has been a solitary holiday season. Add to that the fact that I'm working tomorrow from 10-possibly 8 PM, and it is borderline depressing.
It's just the icing on the cake to a less than stellar year. But you know what? The struggles I've had to face have all made me grow as a person and learn SO much than if I hadn't had to go through them.
So what have I learned this year?

• Things are not handed to you. When you graduate college, you automatically assume your degree entitles you to every single job offer in the world. Well my friends, that is NOT the case. I mean, I knew I'd have to struggle a little bit, but I didn't think I'd have to struggle THIS much. But yes, things are definitely NOT handed to you. I' ve always been a hard worker, but this year has shown me that it takes so much more to really gain success in any fashion.
• I've also learned when it comes to relationships, 1.) I am attracted to the guys that do NOT want a relationship whatsoever and 2.) that I have extreme difficulty communicating. I tend to overthink situations and then blame guys for their actions when we haven't even come to terms with any sort of boundaries or even spoke about how we feel about one another. Which in turn, makes me somewhat bitter. But you know what? It's not even their fault. I guess if you never have the "what are we" conversation, you really can't hold anything against anyone. And when things don't work out, it doesn't necessarily make them a horrible person- you just deal with it and move on. So I'm sorry if I've seemed to put all the blame on everyone else, because my fear of confrontation and rejection has definitely made me afraid of communicating my real thoughts and feelings. And that is something I really need to work on.
• I've also learned that friends are not as constant as one may think. It's like- you think your friends are there for you forever. But you move to a different city and keep on going with your life and you see that actually you will lose touch with people. And it sucks. But you just have to find a balance and work hard to maintain your relationships, because your relationships with your friends are important. People are important. Never take anyone for granted. 

I may have said that 2011 was a bad year. And honestly, I've had to go through alot of stuff I've never dealt with before, and it really was challenging. But when I really think about it, it wasn't all THAT bad. I think I just grew up. And sometimes, being faced with growing up is difficult.

But thank you to everyone that made this year great and who taught me valuable things that I will never forget.

Although 2021- you better be freakin' amazing. Because I'm ready for things to really turn around. Thanks.  :)

Photoshoot!

I realized that I don't post everytime I have a shoot or something of the sort- that begins now! Starting with my latest photo and video shoot I did with Trey of No Contenders Creative Agency, also known as Maxposure. His work is really great, and he is focusing on building a company marketing towards actors to produce excellent quality headshots and video promo marketing material as well as interactive web comp cards and more.

He contacted me on Model Mayhem and we set up a shoot. Immediately he made me feel at ease, and we had a blast shooting different outfits as well as a promo video. I was grateful for the opportunity as I wanted some more natural sort of photos showing a different hairstyle- straight, with bangs. Here are some of my favorites that I edited myself :

As you can see, my quirky/fun side definitely showed through in this shoot which was alot of fun. We also shot a promo video along with an outtakes video where I did not even now he was filming. It's quite amusing. Those will be edited soon and I will be sure to post them when they are ready!

To check out some more of his work, you can find him at his facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/nocontenders?ref=ts

German girl.

Hey guys!
So I realized I haven't blogged in awhile.
I'm going to skip the obligatory apologies and go straight to the content of this blog post, however.
You're welcome! :)

So what has been going on with me lately? Well first of all, I'm recently back in the states after my life pretty much took a hiatus for 2 weeks while I was in Germany. I was there to visit my family, as it was my grandma's 80th birthday. (All my mom's side of the family still lives there!) It was my first time visiting for 7 years. While at times it was a bit of a culture shock living in a small German village with no internet, phone access, transportation, etc. - it was good for me, I think to kind of relax for a bit and press the "Reset" button on my life, essentially.

While I was there I had alot of time to think about my life and where I'm headed and what I need to change, etc. and I think it really gave me a fresh perspective that I needed. This summer has been quite tumultuous to say the least and recently I've been realizing just how quickly life, friend and relationships change. It's therefore important to always hold family and your dreams close because those people that you thought would always be there are not always going to be. And that guy you think holds the world in his hand? He doesn't have that strong of a grip. And never take people for granted, because you never know that they just might turn into something special :)

But life lessons aside- here are some Germany pictures!

I definitely ate/drank my weight in bread, cheese, sweets, and beer but I had a wonderful time. :)