The truth is, I have been so ridiculously busy and stressed that I guess I didn't even think about it. But regardless, judging from my last post it seems as if the tables are turning in my life...
So there's this boy...
I actually never expected things to turn out the way they did but they have and I am just really happy. I feel totally comfortable with him, and he makes me smile so much... =]
But at the same time, alongside the warm fuzzy feelings that come with a new romance, I am scared. And it has absolutely nothing to do with him .
I just don't want to get hurt. (Well, Obviously, nobody does!) Nor do I want to hurt him either. Like I said before, I feel like I suck at being a girlfriend.
It's just that the fact of being in a bonafide relationship again scares me a little bit. Well, actually- I think it's not even being in a relationship- just putting myself out there is what scares me, because the last time I did that I found out that it was all in vain. And it sucked to find that out. I don't want to be lied to or played around with- I don't deserve that at all. And that is not saying in ANY way that the guy I am currently seeing is like that because I truly do not believe he is like that at all... it just is a shame that I have become so jaded on relationships in general.
I'm just going to have to forget about the things other guys have done... and just focus on how happy I am when I am with him... and how he even helps me relax- a word that seems to have disappeared from my vocabulary due to all the stress I put myself through!
Although lately the stress has been lifted a bit- Batboy is over, I just finished the last of directing scenes this month, no more Basic Design projects for a while.... all I have left is GTC (I'm number 4), and then Richard's freestage- "This is What Happens When." (Which, by the way, is going to be super fun and everyone needs to come see it Nov. 3rd at 5!) Although soon general auditions are coming up again... and so is Boy Gets Girl.
I really want to be cast next semester, so finding a super awesome audition piece is going to be imperative. I am longing for a chance to show off that I CAN do straight plays, too! I love musicals and all, but I feel as if I haven't been given a chance really to show that I know how to actually act. But hopefully things will work out in my favor!
Anyways. Life is good right now. I'm super happy and I'm going to embrace the happiness in my life.
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