merp.

So I'm almost finished with training at my new job, Dolce. Today I pretty much took charge of all the tables, with my trainer following me and it went rather swimmingly. I'm finally getting back into the "server" groove which is nice! I just have to say that not working for a corporate chain is pretty great. It sucked because we actually made some pretty good money but since I'm technically still training I only kept a very small percentage of them....which is understandable as I AM getting paid by the hour. Regardless it definitely made me feel good to know that everything ran pretty smoothly.

The only bad thing is it is seeming as though things may not be AS flexible as previously thought...I may for awhile have to just focus on building up a nice cashflow and get some savings going before I can really delve deeply into theatre specifically, because it's just a time commitment that I'm not sure this job will be able to work around, especially seeing as they are only open on the evenings. But if another door is meant to open it will be, and for now I'll stick with it and see how it all pans out. I have no worries, because I'm finding more and more that the more I believe and just have faith that things will work out, even if I am stressed or anxious- they ALWAYS do. Literally, every time. So I just have to stop fretting! Case in point: I was super stressed out because I thought I wouldn't know my work schedule until tomorrow when I would "skill out," or be certified to begin serving, and I was worried about not getting a day off to move my stuff from Columbus to my new apartment in ATL.

However- apparently the manager who is supposed to be there to officiate this skill out can't even do it until Saturday, SO...I now have the rest of the week off and I am going to be able to move in on Friday! Also, I am now able to attend this industry mixer that is a super great networking tool on Thursday, AND...I get to go on a boat outing tomorrow and get some sun and just relax! :D

I'm seriously loving life right now and I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of this transition phase which is wonderful. I just can't wait to just be in my new place and just soak it all in...I'm a college graduate and now able to fully pursue my career! Wahoo! :)

However when it comes to my personal life I'm still plagued with uncertainty and fear but it's hopefully something that will work itself out. I'm in such a strange place, I feel when it comes to matters of the heart and relationships and the like. I don't even know what I want, really and that may be the problem, in fact. Because most of the time when I want something, like, REALLY want something- I will do whatever it takes to get it (within reason, of course!) But I just always find myself meandering and not really "going for" anything when it comes to guys, and I'm not sure why. I feel like I have this constant sort of wall that is built up around my heart that has just gotten bigger and thicker the past couple years and in some ways it's a good thing, because I'm able to easily get over bad relationships and unrequited crushes with ease, but then I worry- because the one day I actually really get my heart completely broken there will be much more destruction and rubble...

But time will tell. I'm not completely miserable being single or anything. My fiercely independent self thrives on being able to not answer to anyone or have to do anything other than watch funny cat videos for hours if I so please! :)