What I want to accomplish in life.

• I want to make a living doing what I absolutely love to do more than anything else, acting. Contrary to what people may believe, my ultimate desire in life is NOT to be rich and famous. I could care less if people on the street know who I am. And money is just money. (Although it WOULD be nice to be able to buy some Louboutins every now and then!) But really, I just want to be able to support myself solely from my acting whether it be theatre, film, or both. My logic is if other people can do it, so can I.
• I want to encourage and inspire others through my personal discoveries/struggles. As some of you may know, I actually have a health blog focused on vegetarian/veganism as well as a tumblr devoted to positive body image. (I actually need to update the health blog more as I've been slacking on it!) But there is no greater feeling than somebody messaging me or telling me in passing how much they enjoyed an article of mine or that I have encouraged or helped them in some way. Being healthy and learning to love my body are things that I struggle with everyday and some days are easier than others. Writing is such a great outlet to help myself and others at the same time and I just want to make some sort of impact, which leads me to my next point:
• I would love to write a book aimed at college-aged girls addressing issues, such as keeping healthy, financially stable, fit, and emotionally in check. Not that I'm the expert on these things- but I have learned so much these past four years and have many stories to tell that I think would help others. Who knows when I'll actually have it done, but I think I may start on it soon...
• I want to travel. Alot. I thrive on change and I just am hungry for new places and experiences. Some of the places I want to visit: L.A., NYC (again), Italy, France, Greece, England, Hawaii, Japan, etc. Really I just want to go everywhere! I'm super excited because I actually may be visiting Germany with my mom in November to visit my grandma for her birthday...and one of the things I want to do is just take a train to Paris by myself and write while sitting under the Eiffel tower. Maybe grab a crepe or two and just revel in the place I am, reveling in a different culture and lifestyle that I'm used to.  That would be perfect :)
• I want to produce a singing album and have a live show. No, my life goal is not to be a pop star singing sensation- but I just want to start writing my own music and getting back into playing piano and just record an album. Having friends and contacts that actually own recording studios makes this dream more of a possibility in my life and I've been thinking of it more and more. I actually wrote the beginning stages of a song today which is something I've never really dabbled in before...but was surprisingly easier than I thought. Of course, I always have my dream of singing 1940s jazz standards in a glamorous gown in a smokey lounge setting. And you may think I'm joking...but seriously...that is a dream I've had for a while. And one day it will happen :)
• I want to design clothing. I've always had an eye for fashion and drawing and used to actually do this when I was younger...but I think it would be amazing to team up with someone who can actually sew a little bit better than I can and turn some designs on paper into an actual tangible garment that I designed. I mean, I suppose could always just learn to sew myself but who has time for that?! :P But seriously, going along with that whenever and if I do get married, I think I want to design my own wedding dress as well. Who knows, maybe I'll pay and commission my costume shop administrators from ole' CSU into making it for me :)
• Ultimately I never want to lose my sense of openness and spontaneity, and I just want to just enjoy life's every opportunity that is thrown at me. While I have a general plan for my life, I honestly have NO IDEA what I'll be doing 5 years from now. I mean, if you told me the things I was doing right now about a year ago, I wouldn't even believe you. A year ago I told myself that I would probably never be a Shakespeare actress, or wouldn't ever do film and here I am, the last theatre production I did being a Shakespeare show, and I've landed several paid film gigs and now have an agent. I'm not tooting my own horn or anything, but just making a point that it's amazing what can happen if you just open yourself up to new things. I obviously have a lot to learn still in this crazy world of acting especially, and there are constantly things I can improve on and learn. I think it's important to NEVER think you know it all, because the moment you think you've got it made and have all the answers- life throws an anvil on your plans and says "Nope!" I've learned this first hand and I'm sure others can attest to this as well. I hope that I never come across as braggadocious or arrogant. I know we actors sometimes have the tendency to just post everything that we are doing and go off about our "craft" but people just have to realize that it's such an unstable and insecure life we lead, and we are constantly faced with people doubting our abilities. I mean, if someone tells their great Aunt Milly that they are a business major in college, they'll get a "Oh, wonderful! So glad to see you doing something smart and productive!" Whereas a theatre performance major will get an "Oh, that's nice...well good luck with that." with a concerned gaze. So anytime an actor actually lands something, especially a paid gig- it's just a "HEY WORLD, YOU WERE WRONG!" type of move, really. We are constantly fighting for that seal of approval from our peers, from our family, and from ourselves.  Any ounce of validation is a major accomplishment, so don't roll your eyes at us, just realize that it's hard to pursue a career path that most people think is a pipe dream.  And well I just went off on a major tangent here, but sometimes when the words come out you just can't stop them! :P Now on to my next bullet point of life accomplishments:
• I want to not go off on tangents.  Hmm...well that may be the hardest bulletpoint to accomplish so moving on... :P
• I want to be able to financially give back to my parents. They have helped me so much over the years in many ways other ways besides just financially- but I want to be able to at least give back in that regard. I'm not sure exactly how or when, but it will. They deserve nothing but the best in life. Now that I'm edging on 23 I'm seeing more and more just how much my parents have sacrificed for me and I'm more and more grateful for everything that they do. Their selflessness and positivity is inspiring. 
• I'd like to meet a man who challenges me to be a better person; who tells me when I need to slow down in life and just live, and also when I need to get it together and push forward. Someone who shares my same belief systems and who is not afraid to be proactive. Someone who doesn't mind cats and thinks my quirks are endearing and not strange. Someone who realizes that I am not expendable and who doesn't think my career path is dumb. :)
• Ultimately I want to spread positivity in this world. I absolutely can't stand it when I see people repeatedly tweeting and posting negative facebook statuses and are just a drag to be around. I'm just a huge proponent of the notion that if you don't like your current circumstances, CHANGE THEM. Only you have the power to do so. Also, negativity breeds negativity. It's so crucial to find positivity in your situations. And I mean, I'm not 100% happy-go-lucky all the time, I definitely have my moments when I am sad or feel frustrated and angry, but I choose not to dwell on them. I really don't like sympathy and I just like to solve problems instead of focusing on them.My father who battled leukemia for 7 months is probably still the biggest inspiration in my life. I may have mentioned this before in earlier blogs, but literally throughout his entire battle he never complained once. Through chemo, through bone marrow transplants, through endless treatments causing him to age about 20 years, losing almost all of his physical strength...he never lost his faith. He is the strongest person I've ever known and even to the end, he never ceased to amaze me with the endless stream of positivity that flowed out of him. This has always stuck with me and I just have a hard time really sympathizing with people when they complain about petty things. And I know I'm not the only one that has had to deal with situations like this and people have gone through even worse things- but the difference is this: do you let the situation turn you into a bitter, angry person, spreading negativity and animosity or do you accept the cards you're dealt and allow them to turn you into a stronger and wiser person? Some choose the former. Take my father's side of the family, for example. Most of them refuse to speak to my mom to this day because she got re-married. They harbor so much bitterness and anger that it's unbelievable and it manifests itself continually. None of them are happy in their own lives and they are dealing with horrible issues on a daily basis that probably would not be there if they took initiative to better themselves and turn their situations into something not steeped in resentment, but into situations that enabled them to deal with things in a more positive manner. But again, that's something I cannot control and I don't intend to speak badly of my relatives, as I do love them and wish the best for them, but I just hate that they can't look past these things and just accept life, really.
• Did I mention that I needed to stop going on tangents? :P
• There are many more things I would love to accomplish in life, but I think I'll stop for now. There is always more I will wish to do and experience and learn, so this list will never end.