The Electronic Age of Misunderstanding.

In this new electronic age we live in, we are faced with new issues that one may have never thought of before. Text messaging, e-mails, facebook statuses, notes, blog posts- they are all means of communicating that are not spoken aloud- and in some cases they can cause misunderstanding and feelings to get hurt.

For example- have you ever received a text from someone that seemed hurtful only to realize later that it was a joke/sarcasm? Or experienced a tinge of anxiety when someone responds with a mere "k."? Or when your crush responds to way after after your last text and you've given up all hope only to realize that their phone just died?

On facebook, people are apt to write ambiguous statuses that spark controversy and make others wonder..."Is this about me?" Or they may write a note bashing something or someone and leaving others to figure out who it is, but adding just enough detail that most can figure out who it is. I've also seen people gang up on other's through facebook, causing extreme distress to the victim and making others just look heartless and unnecessarily mean, relishing in the pain they cause.

I've experienced over the years I've kept up this blog that there is a risk of putting your inner thoughts on the internet for all to see and that some like to use it as an outlet to say incredibly hurtful things, hidden behind the name "Anonymous."

Through having this blog I've discovered the extent that people are willing to go to hurt me, hitting at things in my life that are already extremely painful. For example- my father whom I was very close to passed away with Leukemia my freshman year of high school. I was in the hospital seven months throughout this ordeal, basically forgoing any extracurricular activities to be there throughout the entire process, and I dealt with him going into remission only to have it come back and to be told he had 3 days left to live. Dealing with that was not the easiest thing in the world, but his complete and utter strength (He never complained once) taught me not to sweat the small stuff in life. It has helped me with putting things into perspective and is probably why I tend to be really laid-back and not get worked up over things I have no control over.

Well, one day when I happened to be missing him I wrote a blog about it and how I wished he could see me in a show I was in, as he died before I started getting into theatre. Some anonymous coward decided to write that my father as well as GOD would have been ashamed of me, and many other extremely hurtful things. I just couldn't believe that somebody had the audacity to say something like that to me, when I had done nothing to hurt them, yet just decided to express that I missed my father that passed away.

Recently I have dealt with an incident to where my words were grossly misunderstood and skewed, causing me to be indirectly attacked (but it was obvious it was towards me.) In addition, my best friend just had somebody write very harsh, hurtful things in her honesty box on facebook as well. (ah, honesty box. the playground of anonymous cowards.) In both cases, neither of us had done anything to warrant such scathing words.

The bottom line is our feelings were definitely both hurt and it was unnecessary hurtfulness.

There have been other instances where people have written anonymous hurtful things on my blog as well. And I mean I would understand if I wrote things that were actually controversial, but these were all written on very personal blog entries specifically. It's just a horrible feeling to be attacked for no reason, and I suppose in this digital age, the means of communication make it easy for people to hide behind their computer screens and say whatever they want- even though they would never say these things to my face, I'm sure. And to be honest- I'm not even one of those people that wants people to say things like that to my face, either.

And I digress a little bit, but at times it makes me weary to be treated as if I am a villain for wanting to be successful in my career and working my butt off every single day in order to maintain a 3.9 GPA and gain the respect of those that matter in my life, such as my professors and fellow peers, while pursuing something I love and trying to stay sane at the same time. The sanity sometimes slips away, and at times I may be a little anti-social and unable to sustain relationships but I guess that is just the price I have to pay in order to accomplish my goals! This is the only time in my life I will have to do this so I don't think I should waste the time and resources I've been given.

I just think people should take the time to realize that words, no matter if they are spoken to your face or through text, facebook, or any other means can hurt, and we should be using these means to encourage others instead of to bring them down. I just don't think I deserve alot of the wrath that has been given to me and those I am close to. While I try to stay positive, I do have times where things can get to me and I do have insecurities as well- I just try not to dwell on them and use them as a crutch, that's all!