7 Ways Guys Try to Act Aloof & Mysterious.

Ah, gotta love the writers at Yahoo. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not writing for them and jerks such as the guy who wrote this article are. Here is the article in question. (My thoughts in italics):

"How (and why) should I act like I don't care about someone that I'm interested in?

 I can understand the rationale. I'm attracted to women that are gloriously unavailable.

It is this aloofness that I strive to master. I can't seem to get the mix right: I'm either not aloof enough or (when I try to be aloof) I look uninterested.

In addition to creating "a chase," aloofness creates mystery. The person might wonder, just who is Rich Santos (even though it's clear I'm just a dumb guy who likes the Ravens, Ramen, and chicken tenders...and sleep).

My main weakness is my tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve and remain honest with my affection and intentions.

Here are some aloofness tactics I've tried: 

Sending Mixed Signals

One moment, I'll be affectionate, totally paying attention to you. The next minute, I'll be a little distant.

Sending mixed signals is a timeless tactic employed by both genders. Not only does it create a riddle for the other person to solve, but giving little tastes of good vibes, mixed with a confusing vibe intrigues people.

[Okay. I can understand this a little bit because I can't say I have NEVER done this. But honestly I'll only do it if it is done to me first. It's a "two can play that game" reasoning. But to be honest, purposefully sending mixed signals first is kind of annoying. I'm like...if I get the feeling that you're not into me I'll just move on. ]

The Classic Ignore

This one is quite immature and can be downright mean, but sometimes you just have to do it.

You don't have to be that obnoxious, but making the person long for your attention by makes it that much better for them when you actually give them that attention later on (once you've decided the punishment has gone long enough). [WHAT?! Once you've decided the PUNISHMENT of not being graced by your presence has gone long enough?! Like you're God's gift to women or something?!]

Walking in to a party and talking to everyone but her, not going right over to her right away, keeps her in check and makes it look like I've got a lot going on.

[It "keeps her in check"?! Well, hope I don't get out of line so I don't get punished later!]

Surrounding Myself with a Crowd

Holding court the middle of an impenetrable circle of cool, attractive people is intimidating, but effective. Your person of interest will want to be part of the circle. It's especially magnetic if you can keep the crowd laughing and nodding in agreement, like a politician on the campaign trail.

[Make sure you kiss alot of baby's foreheads too. That's a real turn-on!]

Putting Down Your Cool Things

Due to the fact that women like jerks, when I put down something she thinks is really cool, I have success.

I am always telling women how much I hate Lady Gaga when they trump her up, and I once told a girl she'd "never make it in New York," while she was bragging about her plans. A few weeks later, we were hooking up. I guess putting all that stuff down makes me look too cool for school.

[I literally don't even know where to begin with this paragraph. A waiter at Cheddar's once told me "good luck with that" when I told him I was  a theatre major. He later friend requested me on Facebook. He was denied. Let that speak for itself. Also the fact that the phrase "too cool for school" was used in a serious context makes me seriously question this. Like I feel as if this could be a parody of itself. ]

Making Myself Look Busy

Sometimes when I text a girl that I can't meet her because of "cool social engagement A, B, or C," I'm doing so lying in bed in boxers watching Lifeteime movies before passing out. It's all about creating the image. If you use this tactic, remember not to leave a Facebook status trail saying that you're actually staying in and watching bad movies.

[There is a fine line between fibbing about plans because you need alone time and faking "cool social engagements" to make yourself appear like you are popular. Also- the "Lifeteime" typo is in the original article...haha ]

 

Sharing Occasional Deep Thoughts - AKA The Starving Artist

The occasional deep/tortured thought makes me look so distant and emotionally unavailable. Who doesn't want to try to solve that riddle?

[Um...I don't have time to solve your "occasional deep thoughts." Nor do I have the time to listen to you ask about the meaning of life while holding a straight razor dangerously close to your wrists in an attempt to seem "tortured." Plus I'm already a starving artist myself. I need an emotionally stable guy!]

Limiting My Attempts

After she's blown enough chances, I move on. It makes it look like I've got more going on.

I wish I didn't have to fake aloofness. It's part of the game. It's immature to employ these games, but it's also immature for men and women to be attracted to aloof people.

Shouldn't it be as simple as trying to spend time with someone you like, showing that you're available for them because they are special? I've been burned too many times doing this-perhaps it's boring because I'm "too easy".

Or maybe I'm supposed to be aloof until we are dating/committed- at which point I'll start getting in trouble for being too aloof.

Do you find it more attractive when a guy is aloof, and what do you think of my tactics above? Do you try to act aloof with guys? Why do you think aloofness is attractive-is it the thrill of the chase, or the mystery and their independent appearance?

[How about this. Don't act aloof on purpose. If you like me- I want to know. Don't purposefully send mixed signals. We are not in fourth grade anymore and it's not attractive. Even if it seems to be working a girl will get fed up with it. Trust me! So Guys: Please don't take this nitwit's advice. It's annoying. Thanks!]

Cleansing.

You know when you have a complete reality check? I totally had one the other day. And it was about my weight. Before you go all cray cray on me just hear me out. I was trying on a dress that I wanted to wear for Christmas Eve events today, and it was pretty darn tight and hard to zip up. So hard, in fact, that the zipper completely broke and it ripped my dress. A pretty distressing moment to say the least! And lately I've just felt so...puffed up I guess you could say. It's like I don't even enjoy getting dressed in the morning because of the way my clothes have been fitting me. Which is unfortunate because if you know me, you know how much I love clothes! It's just becoming like an annoying task more than anything and I just want to stay in my PJs as long as possible.

I'm just SICK of feeling this way.I've absolutely had it and decided that I want to cleanse my body and start anew.

So I have decided to do the Master Cleanse starting on December the 27th. (That allots for 2 days of Christmas leftovers/cookie eating!)

What is the Master Cleanse? Also known as the "lemonade diet," it's a cleanse where you basically only drink a concoction made out of fresh lemons, purified water, cayenne pepper, and grade B maple syrup. You also supplement it with herbal teas and laxative teas. It sounds bizarre, but a LOT of people have gone on the cleanse and had wonderful results. You can lose alot of weight fast, obviously- but what people don't realize is that it isn't really starving yourself- as this lemonade concoction does have calories that can sustain your body. One girl did the master cleanse for 40 days and she had super results from it. The main reason that I want to do it is not to lose weight necessarily- but to use it as a catalyst to change my eating habits. Most of the people that are successful with the cleanse drastically change their eating habits and start eating healthier again, mostly raw vegan which I have dabbled with in the past as well but lately have not so much been doing. So, these people have lost a good amount of weight on the cleanse and have actually kept it off by changing their eating habits.

I just need a good kick in the butt so I think that now being home for Christmas break before I go back into the harsh grind again would be a great opportunity to try something like this  so that when I return back to Columbus I will be even more motivated to stay very healthy and get back on track. The main reason I want to lose some weight is for my career. As you know I'm going into acting/modeling, and while I am by no means considering myself overweight- I definitely have some toning and weight loss to do! So this cleanse will kind of help to jumpstart me into a better lifestyle. (Not that I'm necessarily unhealthy right now- I eat pretty healthy meals- although lately I've been using that as an excuse to pig out on things such as margaritas, cookies, frozen yogurt, etc...and that adds up!)

Thankfully, most of you guys that are around me won't have to deal with how grumpy I inevitably will be the first few days of this cleanse and I will be fresh for when school starts which is nice.

I'm super excited because I just really think this is going to be what I need to get me started back into a wonderfully healthy lifestyle again! I'm just sick of making excuses for myself and ready to kick it into high-gear.

I'm planning on documenting my cleanse through Youtube videos which I may post here so you can see a Before/After as well as my thoughts while I'm on the cleanse so keep yourself posted.

Also- before you call me certifiable insane- just do a little bit of research on the cleanse. Just look on Youtube for some testimonials and Before/Afters!

If you are interested in the cleanse yourself, visit this website here and find out more information

On December 27th the cleanse starts! Stay tuned!

AuditionBooth!

So I just joined this site, AuditionBooth- where you can audition for things via webcam as well as upload a general "audition." Wanna check it out? Go here! I sing towards the end of it. :) Go "like" it!

No explanation necessary. Just take a second to drool. You're welcome.

Officially finished!

Today is the LAST official day of the semester. I finished my last 2 exams, and now it's Christmas break officially! It's weird to think that I just finished my last fall semester in my life essentially. But it's exciting too! :) With everyone just having graduated it is really causing me to prepare mentally for it myself. It's just going to be such a magical moment to get my degree and to be a college graduate! However, I do have some hurdles to jump first, but I'll get through them.
I think I figured out my post-graduation plan though. I think I definitely am going to move to Atlanta. Ideally, directly from my Columbus apartment. (Sorry Augusta...it's not that I don't like you..but...wait actually I really just don't like you!) There is absolutely no reason for me to be in a place where I can't further continue my career in any way. So I'm going to be looking for reasonably priced Atlanta apartments and move in and preferably already have a "real person" job lined up so I can be financially secure while I audition and find agents and what not.

Lately I've gotten some really cool modeling opportunities such as modeling for a local Atlanta designer named Marian Collier- she has some really great stuff and it was alot of fun to be a part of a fashion show situation.
I met some nice contacts there and from a photographer that was covering the event there, now I'll be doing a photoshoot at Compound in Atlanta for a different designer that will be published in Shooterfoto magazine. It's a small publication targeted to models/photogs/designers/etc. but it is still pretty cool to be published in something! And it should be alot of fun. Apparently Compound is this club where celebrities have their birthday parties at and stuff like that. Fancy! So anyways we will see how that goes. The shoot is on Saturday so I decided to stay in Columbus until then so I can save on gas, and also I have 2 photoshoots with Columbus photographers this week as well. I think it will be nice to have a little "me"-vacation before Christmas break as well if that makes sense.

 But yeah other than that it's been somewhat of a cavalcade of partying these past couple weeks. Me and Robin had our birthday party shindig at Kyle's which went pretty well- here are a couple "paparazzi" shots before the party actually started:

So many other people have had parties and Christmas shindigs and what nots as well. It's been alot of fun to socialize, get dressed up and just generally enjoy the holidays :)

Thoughts on next semester and graduation.

So I'm sitting here looking through the theatre calendar for the spring and just trying to orient myself with what is to come.
This is my conclusion: I'm going to be literally CRAZY. I'm going ahead and checking out on any sort of life I may try to have next semester. As there will be no social life to be had. This is why.

January.
Starting in January are juries for KC-ACTF every Friday. Also- I will be needing to do costume crew for Charlotte's Web, which starts on the 17th-23rd. I will also be preparing for KC-ACTF convo on the 28th (KC-ACTF is an acting competition for theatre majors in which you prepare 2 scenes and a monologue/song to perform in order to win scholarships and other awards.), and then I'm off to Daytona on Feb. 1st. Let's add to that As You Like It's preliminary rehearsals as well as In Dreams/Nightmares rehearsals. (Robin's Sr. Project)

February
February is a literal month of INSANITY. From the 1st-5th I'll be in Daytona for KC-ACTF, and then the following weekend is GA Thespians in which I'm required to work hours for, plus it will just be insane in Columbus around that time. The following weekend is One-Act auditions, and then In Dreams/Nightmares goes up the following weekend. I start actual rehearsals for As You Like It this month too, in addition to all the rehearsals for Robin's show. Aye Caramba.

March
And then I'm off to SETC on March 3rd-6th in Atlanta to audition for professional companies in hopes of landing an acting job after graduation. One-Act rehearsals begin on the 14th, and As You Like It is rehearsing as well. I will also be required to attend production meetings for the one-acts as I am taking sound design and will be needing to sound design a one act. Oh yeah and I also forgot one tiny thing-My SENIOR ACTING RECITAL goes up on the 25th, and the following weekend starts Tech rehearsals for As You Like It.


April
From the 1st-10th my life will be consumed with tech rehearsals and performances of As You Like It (It goes up the 7th!) and then that's over. However One-Act tech rehearsals start the week after. The next couple weekends will be consumed by one-acts and Dance Extravaganza rehearsals, no doubt. The day after One-Acts are over I've gotta high-tail it to Augusta for the weekend to be in Brooke's wedding on the 29th-30th.

May
May 2nd is the last day of classes. (Classes?! When will I have time for those?!) And Dance Extravaganza goes up on the 5th. However.....on the 9th....I ....will...be....A COLLEGE GRADUATE WITH A BFA THEATRE PERFORMANCE DEGREE. And ready to enter the real world!

So. There we have it. My Spring Semester of doom. Thank GOD my course load is light. I'm so incredibly thankful for taking summer/maymester classes because if I hadn't done that I would be killing myself to fit everything in! I literally only have theatre practice on M/W, and I have no classes on Fridays. T/TRs are going to be packed with classes, but that's just the way it worked. I have breaks though which is nice- and none of the classes are immensely stressful necessarily.

At some point I am going to have to find time to squeeze in Saber meetings and writing articles and things as well- since I definitely am not going to have time for a real person's job which is sad because I definitely need to save up money in order to move...ahh.

Speaking of moving after graduation. I have been doing some thinking lately. The bottom line is I definitely want to be in NYC. My initial plan was to go to Augusta and live there for about 6 months or so, and just work my butt off and raise money. However, I have been wondering if it is really the best idea for me to be in Augusta, making money, yet being far away from any opportunities I may get in the meantime-whereas I could perhaps be somewhere like Atlanta and paying rent, but being really close to tons of more opportunities and be able to maybe get signed on to an agency and do a year or so of professional work before heading to NY? These are just thoughts I'm thinking about. It would be definitely easier to take advantage of lucrative stand-in work and things like that if I'm already in Atlanta instead of commuting from Augusta, and I could easily share an apt. with friends that will be there. I'm also worried about being just stagnant career-wise in Augusta. I don't want to just slave away for money in order to get to NY while I could be slowly building up my career and making money at the same time. Also, if I am submitting to agencies earlier than I would have more of an incentive to move there as well. Then after a year or so, I could have alot of more experience and have beefed up my resume with professional work- making a move to NYC seem alot more feasible and I could have more time to prepare for it.

Of course, you never know what will happen in life. I could get a job from SETC, or heck, who knows- I could even get a job in NYC from an audition I will go on after graduation. (I want to go there and audition for my graduation present!)

But as you can see from my hectic schedule to come- I'm definitely going to embrace and enjoy these breaks coming up and try to utilize this time to the best of my ability! I'm a little annoyed that I don't know what part I am in As You Like It yet- as I wanted to really familiarize myself with my lines- but I guess I'm just going to have to familiarize myself with the entire play in general, or at least all the female roles- which is not a bad thing I suppose. I'm also going to use my breaks to submit to agencies and companies and the like, and to get off book for everything in advance- such as ACTF material and such. I also will need to find Sr. Project material during this time.
But it's okay- this is just the life of a theatre major, haha! I will get through it! It will make me a little insane- but I know it will all work out somehow. And the rewards will be great.

My life in bullet points.

• Crucible costume crew is finally over. I literally feel like I have been living in a dungeon for about a week. Forced to wear black and confined to a basement- it was awful. However, I did enjoy our knitting parties. Yes, you read right- I learned how to knit! And now I'm addicted! I just started a scarf. Although I have to say it's a little embarrassing how slow I knit right now- but I just knit it so tightly. It will take me forever to finish this scarf but by golly it will be a good scarf I think! It's pretty- variants of aqua blue. But anyways, I did enjoy working on such a great show, I just am glad it's over though. Life resumes as usual.
• Thanksgiving break is coming soon! Literally in 3 days! I can't believe it's already here. I can't believe this semester is almost over. Thank God all my hard classes are over. (I'm DONE with Directing. WHAT? Bizarre!!!) I'm excited to just relax and rejuvenate in preparation for my LAST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE EVER. Although I do need to find a new Shakespeare monologue, as well as find scenes for ACTF. But that's not terribly stressful, really. All that entails is reading plays, which I enjoy doing :)
• So I downloaded The Sims 3 on my new computer which is super exciting because it runs like a charm! The graphics are super crisp as well. I can waste so much time on this game...but it is just so addictingly fun!
• I keep having dreams about New York. Can't wait to be there. Mentally, I'm already there. Now to get there financially as well as physically...

All I Want for Christmas...

I have decided to keep an on-going wish list through my blog for Christmas. Just for funsies :P

First item! This cute keychain cap from Modcloth. I love it! :) Find it here!

Next: this kitchen brush. It's so freaking cute! :) I realize it's lame that I legitimately WANT a kitchen dish scrubber but I mean really- look at the adorableness of this. Find it here!

Aren't these sunglasses the CUTEST?! I love them. Find them here.

UMMMM This dress is beyond adorable. I absolutely love it. it's retro kitsch at its best. Find it here!

I LOVE this dress, too! Wouldn't it be just a grand audition dress? It's so unique but classically simple as well, with the right amount of femininity and structure. Buy it for me here. ;)

Is this or is this not the perfect LBD? So classy! You can dress it up or down easily, and it's just so perfect I can hardly stand it. Purchase.

So sumptuous! This dress just makes me want to be dripping in pearls and champagne.While sitting on a cloud of silky buttercream frosting. So delightfully frilly and feminine and GORGEOUS! I want.

(So if you haven't figured it out yet, I LOVE modcloth.com. Maybe I'll move to a new website...)

So...moving on to anthropologie! The clothes and accessories here are equivalent to a fancy decadent dessert at a restaurant you can't afford. So luscious. So expensive. So...off limits. But I love to look!
Let's take a minute and drool over all of these amazing sweaters:

 I'll take them all, thanks! Find them here :)

I'll also take this scarf/shawl please.

And these shoes.
 More Christmas wish list posts to come from here on out until Christmas. Ciao!

Moments

It's so important to treasure individual moments in life as they happen and to not take it for granted. This weekend has really taught me that. It's been full of many truly wonderful moments that are special in different ways but that all are worth looking back on. Feeding ducks on my pond, enjoying nature and thinking about the future, the bliss of spending a night in alone, as well as the excitement of going out and just enjoying life with friends, the simple pleasure of doing a crossword puzzle, listening to music and just being taken to another place emotionally- I've just encountered many noteworth moments this weekend.  Even though my philosophy is usually that life is a succession of awkward moments strung together- for the most part the past couple days have been pretty free of awkwardness and filled with moments of sheer joy that make me delight in the world and life in general. I'm just relishing in life right now and the uncertainty and spontaneity of it. Who knows what things will happen next week? Next month? Next year? Where will I be? What will I be doing? I have no idea! We never know. I may encounter hardships, heartache, failure, mistakes- but amid all of these things I know there will be special moments that will make life worthwhile. So I'll treasure these moments because this life is the only one I have- I don't think anyone should dwell on negativity but you should use your time on earth to just embrace the lovely world we live in by doing what makes you happy and finding ways that you may be able to spread joy to others. :)

Mega-List Part 2!

I did a list like this awhile back and I think it's time for a second version!

What have I been listening to lately?
Okay, so recently I went on an album downloading rampage and I have been steadily listening to these albums:
1.) Maroon 5- Hands All Over

It's their newest CD...and oh so good. If you have ever been a fan of Maroon 5 I highly recommend it! My favorite song? Hands All Over. It just makes me want to dance. ;)

2.)Sufjan Stevens- The Age of Adz.

Simply wonderful. Everything Sufjan ever does is gold in my opinion, and this album is just rich with lush instrumentation, quirky beats and haunting vocals that just make for delicious music.

My favorite song? I Want to Be Well. Just so intricately awesome.

3.)  Michael Franti & Spearhead- The Sound of Sunshine

This album is just full of happy fun music. Great for listening in the car on a sunny day! :) My favorite song? The Sound of Sunshine. Just fun. Makes me wish summer a bit though...

4.) The Andrews Sisters - The Best Of
Nothing quite like this lovely vintage music that makes me feel just warm and fuzzy. My favorite song? Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy. Love it.
5.) Matt and Kim- Grand
Simply delightful folk/alternative music...My favorite song? Daylight. Which I'm sure I'll be hearing alot of soon as it's in Robin's Sr. Project haha!

What beauty products have I been loving lately?

• Purminerals make-up. It is wonderfully light, yet offers alot of coverage and takes the place of foundation, powder, concealer, as well as sunscreen. It's really a great product! :)

•  NYX lipgloss in Salsa. This lipgloss is a wonderful bright hot pink and I love wearing it because it's just so fun! NYX is a really great lipgloss line- you can get it at ULTA. I would highly recommend it to anyone!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • got2b Smooth Operator Lustre Lotion. This stuff is really great. I don't leave the house without it on my hair. It is basically a lightweight cream that tames frizzies and flyaways and makes your hair silky smooth. I especially like it for when I wear my hair straight as I like to put alot on the ends of my hair and at the top. It's pretty awesome!

What have I been eating lately?

Well I discovered my absolute favorite soup in the world is back at Atlanta Bread Company! Butternut squash! :D It's so amazingly delicious- especially if you get it in a bread bowl. Now, I realize, however, this may or may not be the epitome of health and I'm sure it is high in calories- but it is just one of those guilty pleasures that I just have to have. Especially because it's seasonal- I'm pretty sure they take it away around Januaryish, and I have been craving this soup for EVER. So if you have never had it, it's worth a try. It's absolutely scrumptious!

Also- if you have never had Chill frozen yogurt, you have no idea what you are missing. Chill is another guilty pleasure of mine- however it's really not THAT guilty, since it's frozen yogurt and not ice-cream and you can definitely make it healthy with non-fat vanilla fro-yo and fruit toppings. Although I myself am partial to the pumpkin pie flavor with graham cracker crumbs, pecans, cheesecake bites and whipped cream. So fall-esque. So delicious. I can't get enough!

What have I been wearing lately?

In the winter-time, I'm all about wearing colorful skirts with neutral tights and/or over-the-knee socks. I also love cozy sweaters and cardigans in neutral colors to pair with it. Also- since winter wear is a bit boring to me at times, I especially love any kind of embellishments such as flowered brooches and things, and statement necklaces! Aren't these heels to die for?! I wish I actually owned those. *sigh*

What have I been doing lately?

This weekend has been a lovely respite from the grind of school, rehearsals, etc. Yesterday was the loveliest of days- starting with getting to sleep in- then going to feed ducks by my pond, then going for a brisk run in the sunny weather, then getting Atlanta Bread Company's butternut squash soup while reading Christopher Durang plays (I found a hysterical scene that I think I want to do for ACTF!) and after that I was crafty, where I made these shoes(Okay, well I didn't "make" them, per se, but I just decorated my white keds from Goodwill that I used for my Kelly Kapowksi costume from Halloween and revamped them a bit using a Sharpie and replacing the laces with black satin ribbon. I just basically doodled all over them and wrote things on the bottom- one shoe has the world "love" in about 8 different languages- and the other shoe just has words like "peace," "joy," "happiness," "fun," "gratitude" etc. on it. These shoes just make me happy! I'm thinking I might get another pair and cover them completely with sequins or something. That will make for a fun project to do over Christmas break! :)
I also made this brooch here- I just had some leftover polka dot fabric, bunched it together to make a flower and sewed a metallic button in the middle. I like it. :)

Today, I again, have NO plans. I suppose I could be productive somehow but at this point I'm not even sure what I should do. I will have plenty of time to read plays for ACTF scenes during The Crucible so I'm not too worried about that. I suppose I can get a head start on my Saber Articles, even though we don't have an issue for awhile. But anyways, I'm just going to take the day as it comes and just enjoy this little break before this upcoming week of Crucible dress rehearsals and performances. It's going to be rough in addition to my directing scene and then with the 2 morning performances...but it will be a good show and I'm excited to have a part in it somehow. I love any opportunity to help out with make-up related things, and I will be assisting everyone with their old-age and making John Proctor look gross at the end essentially haha. But by Wednesday I will actually be done with my last directing scene ever which is a crazy notion but exciting too. It's a lot of stress that will be gone. I'm surprisingly, however, not really stressed at all about my scene anyways. It's coming together pretty well, and I really like it. I'm thinking of adding some cello underscoring and maybe going to play with some lighting to evoke an old Russian feel to this Chekhov piece. I never really use technical elements in my scenes, but I think that it will add a little something special to it. I'm excited!
Well anyways. I hope everyone else has gotten to enjoy their weekend like I have gotten to. And the day has just begun so there is more joy to be had I'm sure! :)

Clean house, clean mind.

So the past couple days I have been cleaning my apartment intensely...like I'm talking bleaching the baseboards- cleaning out carpet stains- everything. Everything is pretty much done and I feel so super accomplished! Our apartment needed a thorough cleaning for awhile- we have all just been so busy...and recently we got some unfriendly fruit fly visitors so I thought it would be best to just do an overhaul. It is weirdly therapeutic actually, to intensely clean everything...and I'm not stopping still- I'm going to clean out my car tomorrow! Something I've been meaning to do for awhile. It's actually not too messy, I just need to like dust and spray everything down and vaccuum. But at either rate- it feels really nice and I feel like my head is clear.

I feel less stressed about life now that my last directing analysis is finished- however I feel like this is the calm before the storm....once Crucible starts I am going to be so busy with that, as I'm on costume crew and I'm rehearsing my directing scene during 1st and 2nd dress. But after that it's smooth sailing from here on out. I've got all my classes for next semester picked out and I'm ready and rarin' to go to settle into my very last semester!

I just feel like life is good and I'm grateful for everything that's come my way. I'm weirdly not as stressed out as I imagined I would be for this last directing scene, either. I usually fret so much about it but to be honest I'm just trusting that it will be good and I do believe that it will be, and I hate to say it but I'll be so glad once its over and I'm done with directing class! Not that I haven't learned alot and have enjoyed the process- it's just SO much work and it will be nice to focus my energy on other things besides 50 page analyses.

I don't know if I mentioned it earlier but I'm super excited to be cast in Robin's Sr. Project ballet in February! I have been missing dance, and I know that it will help me alot and it will be awesome to be able to be in a fully technical realized dance production that incorporates Shakespeare as well! I know Robin is going to do a great job :)

Everything just works out sometimes! :)

So life is pretty good. I just got past a major blip of stress what with auditions and Sr. Sem and figuring out the deets for my last directing scene....but I think I have it all figured out! PLUS: I got cast in As You Like It! YAY! It's super exciting, because we have a guest director from the New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta directing it which will make it such a unique experience- plus some great networking! We actually don't know our roles yet, however- we are supposed to present another monologue in January and we will find out the entire cast in February. (The show isn't until April, so they can afford to do this haha.) It's mildly stressful that we are still in the audition "process," but it's nice to know that I have a show to work on for my very last semester here. And a Shakespeare show, no less!

You know, that I used to think of myself as an actress that just would never do Shakespeare. I had just decided that it wasn't for me. However, since taking Adv. Directing and being able to really delve into it- I decided that I really enjoyed it and that I was completely capable! And now that I changed my attitude on Shakespeare- lookie here, now I'm DOING a Shakespeare show! :) It's really wonderful what can happen when you open your mind and change your attitude a bit. But anyways, I have great fellow castmembers as well, and I know it is going to be an amazing experience to finish out my college career with.

Another exciting notion is that I don't have to give up going to ACTF either! That's great because I really didn't want to have to since I have never gone- and I really like the material I have picked out. I'm planning on doing "When You're Home" from In The Heights as a musical scene, and a scene from the classic play "The Country Girl." I still need to pick out a monologue- but I may do one I already know, we'll see! But anyways. It's exciting! And then I have SETC to go to too, in March. I can already tell Spring is going to be a CRRAZZYYY semester...but I say bring it on! The more opportunities the better.

 Tomorrow I have auditions for Robin's Sr. Project (Which I can be a part of as well since As You Like It goes up afterwards!) which is exciting. It's a ballet type show and I'd love to get back into dancing again as I am not in a dance class for the first time in forever this semester. Tomorrow is also early registration. It's hard to believe it's the very last time I will be typing in my class numbers and preparing for the next semester's round of classes. Thankfully I've planned my classes well throughout the years so I literally am taking 12 hours. How awesome is that? And I only have theatre practice on M/W, and NO class on Friday. Ample, ample, homework time. Music to my ears! I'll definitely need all this time what with everything that is going on next semester...ACTF, SETC, Sr. Project, As You Like It, One-Act festival, Brooke's wedding....so. many. things. filled. with. stress. haha. But it will all work out I know it will, it always does!
However, I still am pining for the day I walk across the stage to get my degree... you know, I feel like it will be so much more emotional than my high school graduation was honestly...because I mean high school is something most every child in the country has to go through, and graduating high school doesn't seem that monumental for some reason. But graduating college with a degree- not everyone can say they have done that! And the fact that I feel like I have poured my heart and soul into this degree during my time here, and just thinking of everything I have learned, the people I've met and grown up in the theatre dept. with, all the experiences I've had- it was just so much more fulfilling than high school was. Don't get me wrong, I had a great high school experience, but  now I'm older and can really appreciate things more, I think. I am just so grateful for everything that has come into my life during my time here and I wouldn't have exchanged it for anything. :)

Pictures throughout time worth re-visiting.

 This picture and the next are from the time that Robin decided to "dress me up" with random objects. For some bizarre reason, I let her. This was probably around this time last year or so. I've always loved the first picture with the leopard hose on my head. I think it's a rather attractive photo, don't you? And I'm quite the fashion plate in the following one.

 This photo was taken before Crazy For You last Spring. It took me about an hour to put in these small, tight rollers in my hair every day. Ugh. We bought a cake and I decided to place the lid on my head, resulting in a strange photo that truly epitomizes me, I think. :P

 This is a somewhat recent photo actually, taken at a party at Justin Stevens'. I vaguely remember this strange mask being around and I being rather fond of it. Note the way Chris is glaring at me in the background..bahaha. In general it's an amusing photo.

 This picture goes way back to Freshman year, when I did Schoolhouse Rock Live, Too! On tour. One day we had a bunch of extra time before a show so we decided to don each other's costumes. "What a CraAaazzyyy day!"

 Another vintage freshman year photo. There is not too much I can say except WHY!?! haha! I love this picture though and it really represents my freshman year. Bizarre.

 One of my favorite pictures of all time. If you know Robin, you know her innate fear of wet paper...well this particular day at Ihop I decided to taunt Robin with wet paper mercilessly. Quite amusing for me, apparently, yet horrifying for Robin. Thankfully we got a great photo out of it that captures the emotion of the moment.

 This was Halloween in the costume shop my Sophomore year. We had a ball just trying on random things... this was probably my favorite combination. The Lady Gaga-esque dress, Captain hook hand and crazy ghoul mask are quite an attractive combo.

 The summer after my Freshman year in college I taught at Midsummer Macon, a summer arts camp. I taught theatre- and we did lots of fun things like create masks and put on mini plays. I demonstrated how these masks were supposed to work and created this strange one as an example. Thankfully, they did not follow suit and create similar ones. I have no idea what possessed the creation of this monstrosity of bizarrity.

 Freshman year. Cory literally harassed me with pizza...there is a video on facebook of this occurrence...he tried to shove it down my throat!! It was quite amusing looking back but I was not pleased.

 Actually, if there is any incident that epitomizes my freshman year, it has to be this one. The infamous "Peanut butter" incident. One day me, Dureyea, EJ, Emily and India decided to have a sleepover... and these were the days that I was not used to staying up super late yet and I got quite loopy at around 3 AM. This is around that time, and I decided to don Dureyea's cap and walk around with this giant jar of peanut butter, pretending to be a small child and asking everyone around me, "You like peanut butter?!?!" I was a mess.

 Ah, stage makeup. This was the animal day, and I was a tabby cat. I remember this day as I used to ride my blue razor scooter all around downtown Columbus- and I remember keeping my makeup on after class and riding around on it. Incidentally I ran into Robin and Chase and snuck up to them exclaiming "Cat on a Scooter! Cat on a Scooter!" To which they found great amusement. This picture has always amused me for some reason...I think it's because I'm so nonchalant and Megan is so loving on my cat character. And yes I know I'm going to be a cat lady one day. Don't judge.

My freshman birthday party was alot of fun...reindeer ears got passed around to the many members of the party and I just love this photo for the different emotions represented.

This is just a smattering of fun photos I found while reminiscing on old times. I'm feeling very reminiscent lately, I think it's because I realize just how close I am to graduating and and crazy it is! I like to think of the progress I've made in life in general and I am just very pleased with how things have been turning out. I treasure the fun times I've had and look forward to creating many more memories in my next phases of life! :)

Halloween!

So, first of all let me express to you how lame last year's Halloween was. First of all, there were no real parties that we knew about leading up to it, so nothing to plan for....we were underage so we couldn't go out...we had cute costumes but nowhere to go, so we essentially just had a few people over and hung out at the apt. Which was not completely terrible, don't get me wrong- it just wasn't that great. haha.
But THIS YEAR...completely different story! At first you would think having Halloween on a Sunday would be detrimental to the festivities- but in all actuality it made it seem to last super duper long. My Halloween festivities actually started out on Thursday at the RHAC party where I went as Kelly Kapowski. I love the RHAC party because it is always on the Thursday of General auditions, and it is a way to celebrate them being over! (Speaking of auditions- I got called back for Eurydice and As You Like It! Yay!)

But anyways. Then on Friday, which was another stressful day in my life, (Callbacks! Sr. Sem final/audition!) me and Robin went to Mix Ultra Lounge...it was a vampire themed party so we naturally went as vampires. We tried to get teeth but they ended up looking completely hideous so we ditched the teeth. (They were cheap ones from CVS, go figure.) Here are our vampire looks:

SCARY! :P Not really. But yeah, so Mix was pretty fun, although we were reinforced by the idea we already had of Columbus guys, and that is that they are just awkward. We still had a good time however! :)

And then yesterday was an entire day filled with lovely celebration! We started the day off going to Chill in costume to get 15% off, (I was a gypsy!) where I proceeded to get pumpkin pie flavor with pecans, graham crackers and whipped cream... delightful! We then went to the Fresh Market to get pumpkins and stopped in Petsmart and Target to get candy for the trick or treaters :)

 We came home and carved our pumpkins which was a fun event. Here's mine- it's a Hello Kitty pumpkin, of course! 

We then roasted the pumpkin seeds which were delicious, watched I Know What You Did Last Summer and passed out candy to trick-or-treaters, which was oddly nerve-wracking. I have no idea why but everytime kids knocked on the door it was just stressful...lol. But there weren't too many trick-or-treaters anyways.

Later on we got ready and went to a cartoon character themed party where I went as Jasmine...pictures to come soon!

And, since today is actually Halloween don't be thinking the festivities are over YET! They are showing Psycho at the Springer Opera House and we will be attending...in costume of course! I think I may do something gruesome like a zombie beauty pageant girl or something like that...with cuts/bruises/blood! But we'll see :P

The Electronic Age of Misunderstanding.

In this new electronic age we live in, we are faced with new issues that one may have never thought of before. Text messaging, e-mails, facebook statuses, notes, blog posts- they are all means of communicating that are not spoken aloud- and in some cases they can cause misunderstanding and feelings to get hurt.

For example- have you ever received a text from someone that seemed hurtful only to realize later that it was a joke/sarcasm? Or experienced a tinge of anxiety when someone responds with a mere "k."? Or when your crush responds to way after after your last text and you've given up all hope only to realize that their phone just died?

On facebook, people are apt to write ambiguous statuses that spark controversy and make others wonder..."Is this about me?" Or they may write a note bashing something or someone and leaving others to figure out who it is, but adding just enough detail that most can figure out who it is. I've also seen people gang up on other's through facebook, causing extreme distress to the victim and making others just look heartless and unnecessarily mean, relishing in the pain they cause.

I've experienced over the years I've kept up this blog that there is a risk of putting your inner thoughts on the internet for all to see and that some like to use it as an outlet to say incredibly hurtful things, hidden behind the name "Anonymous."

Through having this blog I've discovered the extent that people are willing to go to hurt me, hitting at things in my life that are already extremely painful. For example- my father whom I was very close to passed away with Leukemia my freshman year of high school. I was in the hospital seven months throughout this ordeal, basically forgoing any extracurricular activities to be there throughout the entire process, and I dealt with him going into remission only to have it come back and to be told he had 3 days left to live. Dealing with that was not the easiest thing in the world, but his complete and utter strength (He never complained once) taught me not to sweat the small stuff in life. It has helped me with putting things into perspective and is probably why I tend to be really laid-back and not get worked up over things I have no control over.

Well, one day when I happened to be missing him I wrote a blog about it and how I wished he could see me in a show I was in, as he died before I started getting into theatre. Some anonymous coward decided to write that my father as well as GOD would have been ashamed of me, and many other extremely hurtful things. I just couldn't believe that somebody had the audacity to say something like that to me, when I had done nothing to hurt them, yet just decided to express that I missed my father that passed away.

Recently I have dealt with an incident to where my words were grossly misunderstood and skewed, causing me to be indirectly attacked (but it was obvious it was towards me.) In addition, my best friend just had somebody write very harsh, hurtful things in her honesty box on facebook as well. (ah, honesty box. the playground of anonymous cowards.) In both cases, neither of us had done anything to warrant such scathing words.

The bottom line is our feelings were definitely both hurt and it was unnecessary hurtfulness.

There have been other instances where people have written anonymous hurtful things on my blog as well. And I mean I would understand if I wrote things that were actually controversial, but these were all written on very personal blog entries specifically. It's just a horrible feeling to be attacked for no reason, and I suppose in this digital age, the means of communication make it easy for people to hide behind their computer screens and say whatever they want- even though they would never say these things to my face, I'm sure. And to be honest- I'm not even one of those people that wants people to say things like that to my face, either.

And I digress a little bit, but at times it makes me weary to be treated as if I am a villain for wanting to be successful in my career and working my butt off every single day in order to maintain a 3.9 GPA and gain the respect of those that matter in my life, such as my professors and fellow peers, while pursuing something I love and trying to stay sane at the same time. The sanity sometimes slips away, and at times I may be a little anti-social and unable to sustain relationships but I guess that is just the price I have to pay in order to accomplish my goals! This is the only time in my life I will have to do this so I don't think I should waste the time and resources I've been given.

I just think people should take the time to realize that words, no matter if they are spoken to your face or through text, facebook, or any other means can hurt, and we should be using these means to encourage others instead of to bring them down. I just don't think I deserve alot of the wrath that has been given to me and those I am close to. While I try to stay positive, I do have times where things can get to me and I do have insecurities as well- I just try not to dwell on them and use them as a crutch, that's all!

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

Sucks when they happen to coincide! I was just generally feeling not so hot today. But glad that I'm feeling more positive again now! My directing scene is going well, I made a perfect score on my analysis, and once I make it through much stress of my scene going up, general auditions as well as Sr. Sem auditions, I will get to have fun this weekend because it is Halloween! Yay! For those inquiring minds that want to know, I'm planning on going as Kelly Kapowski from Saved By The Bell.

It's not this exact outfit- but I'm definitely all up in some nineties clothes, and the bangs WILL be teased! Also, I will be reviving my Jasmine costume from last year for a specific cartoon character themed party so that will be fun. At either rate, I enjoy Halloween and it will be a needed break after this week. Lots of stressful things happening but I'll make it through. I always do! 

So you know how I mentioned I was an extra on MTV's My Super Psycho Sweet 16 Part 2? Well apparently the movie is out on iTunes already and my friend grabbed a screenshot of my scene.

 

Woo! Note to self: Have better posture next time I'm on a movie set! Haha. It's pretty cool though, because I'm very visible and clear which may not happen with alot of extra work one may do. But yeah it was a pretty exciting feeling to see yourself on TV even if I didn't have lines necessarily. I'll have you know a funny story behind this scene however- I literally asked this guy a new question about himself every take. It was like my thing so we didn't have to flounder for natural conversation since he seemed a bit shy haha. So I ended up finding out all these random facts about his life, none of which I really remember, but it was pretty funny at the time, haha!

Hopefully next time I'll have some lines though. Thank goodness I've shed a bit of weight as well- the adage "the camera adds ten pounds" is not a lie! =/ but it could be worse I suppose. haha. 

Oh also if you haven't noticed, I revamped the blog a bit. I just can't let anything stay the same!

The Theatre.

The other day in Senior Seminar, we had to discuss our manifestos- basically our final paper's describing what theatre means to us. Well It eventually turned into this emotional crying session as we realized just how much we all absolutely LOVE what we do. There's just something about being in the theatre that is absolutely magical. I mentioned in class that I have a hard time connecting with people in real life at times but when I'm on stage I'm so connected with the audience and those on stage with me. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world! While person-by-person we talked about our views on theatre, the impact it's made on our lives and how much we love it- I couldn't help but humorously ponder- Do Accounting, Business, or other majors sit around and cry about how much they love calculating figures? I mean I understand people who are these majors enjoy what they do, but it just made me be grateful that I am doing something that I am 100%, unabashedly, absolutely in LOVE with. And I must say that is not to say that these majors are not doing something they are in love with as well, as I am not an idiot- but I guess I'm just testifying to the over-dramatic emotional nature of us theatre majors. We're a crazy lot! I just don't think it happens often in other classes where people just sit around and cry in a circle for 2 1/2 hours over how much they love what they do. But if it has then that is pretty awesome. It's so great to do something you love no matter what it is! I think people also should realize that those that are in the theatre don't do it so that they can one day be famous. If I am never a household  name or making seven figures a year, I couldn't care less to be honest. I mean it would be cool, but that has and never will be my aspiration in life. I have people asking me what I'm planning on doing after college and I always am befuddled by this question- why, I'm going to act of course! All I want career-wise is to make a living being a successful actress on the stage and/or film. I want to be in a National Tour of a musical. I want to do cabaret shows. I want to learn, take workshops, take dance classes, continue to study voice. I want to live in a little apartment in NYC with a cat, be able to walk to an Indian restaurant, go on auditions every morning and just live and breathe theatre, and the city life, and just everything that goes along with it! I can't wait until that is a reality in my life. but for now I have to get through jumping more hoops for school, but I am finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! :)

Why I'm unlike most girls and people you probably know.

• I don't keep up with any television show currently airing on TV. However I've seen every episode ever made of Flight of the Conchords and the Tim and Eric Awesome Show multiple times.
• I literally have no favorite sports team, professional or college...whatsoever. Football, baseball, basketball....they are all pretty meaningless to me to be honest.
• I have never seen a Harry Potter movie.
• I don't like Lord of the Rings or Star Wars.
• I'd rather be in my room working on homework than doing most things. Not because it's an enjoyable activity, but because I literally CAN'T relax at all until everything that I've scheduled to do that day is done, and even when it's done I have a hard time relaxing. My version of relaxing often times still has something to do with furthering my career or school. 
• I barely ever hang out with anyone besides the built-in social life of my apartment...because of reason listed above.
• I identify with John Mayer's song "Half of my heart" more than most songs I've ever heard of a female songwriter.
• I get annoyed with leading female characters in relationship dramas plays/movies most times because they are whiny.
• I don't drink soda, sweet tea, or coffee.
• I like to sit in the front of class whenever I can.
• I have never and refuse to ever get a flu shot
• I have a bizarre habit of picking at my cuticles with mechanical pencil lead. 
• I'm attracted to artistic guys in glasses, cardigans, or skinny ties that wouldn't be afraid to go salsa dancing with me.
• I am unattracted to guys who rev up their car engines beside me, wear visors, say the phrase "That's whassup," talk about their Ford truck, or that list Hinder, Nickelback or Daughtry in their favorite bands.
• If I could afford it, I would shop at health food stores for my entire grocery needs besides produce, where I wish I could have my own garden or purchase from an organic local farmer.
• I love cats because I identify with them.
• I make lists about everything. I schedule out my life weeks in advance in detail.
• When circling my foot in the air while seated I often form the shapes of certain letters over and over.
• I tend to not form close relationships with people easily.
• I'm weirdly obsessive about the shape of my eyebrows.
• I hate driving and find it a chore.
• I find taking showers a chore.
• I would rather wash dishes by hand than take out the trash. 
• I think most dogs are annoying.
• I'm really self- conscious of my jawline. 
• I am a musical theatre junkie, but I think Glee is overrated.
• I own way too many Hello Kitty items than a person should probably own.
• I have an aversion to silly bandz.
• I'm against hunting and I hate the Dixie Outfitter, "Confederate" culture. 

I'm just odd :P

And...I'm back!

So, I just returned from GTC in Savannah. For those that don't know, GTC stands for GA Theatre Conference- where college theatre students audition in hope of getting passed to SETC, where you audition in front of professional companies all over the nation in hopes of getting summer work at regional and summer stock theatres, amusement parks, and cruise lines and the like. There were approximately 300 students auditioning this year- and around 80 something got passed. There was some pretty stiff competition- but thankfully I did get passed on! :)

I also had a really great time in Savannah, going on ghost tours, exploring downtown, etc. Me and Melissa devoured a huge apple covered in caramel, chocolate, as well as crushed M&Ms...then foolishly went to go eat afterwards and realized we both were super full. We ended up giving up our leftovers to people on the ghost tour, which by the way was SCARY. Unlike most ghost tours where you walk around the town and people tell stories- in this one we actually went inside the Sorrel-Weed house, where there were apparently murders and suicides that took place there and was featured on popular ghost-hunting television shows. We used EMF detectors to detect electro-magnetic frequencies..and it was really dark in the house..it was super creepy and worth it!

Today we had lunch at a truly great pizza place, and did some shopping downtown before finding out the results of our GTC scores. After what seemed like a really long drive back home, I'm glad to be back in a way- although I'm a little stressed about what the next two weeks hold for me. I start rehearsals for my directing scene this week and it's Shakespeare so I'm just a little nervous about it. But I'm sure it will be FINE...I just over-react. Sometimes I feel as if I put too much stock into directing when it's not even something I want to do outside of college- but I'm just the type of person that just can't to put forth something mediocre as my work, so I just tend to overwork myself. But it's alright, I suppose that's not a horrible character trait, haha!

But yeah, adding to my stress it the fact that my laptop decided to not turn on once I took it out of my suitcase today. I'm wondering if the fact that the outlets were really faulty at the hotel are to blame, or if my power cord is broken, or (hopefully this is not it-) that my laptop has just decided to die on me. I just have so much information and software on it that it would be extremely annoying for it to just go kaput... but I will take it into Best Buy tomorrow and see if they can test out my adapter and see what's wrong with it. Thank GOD I e-mailed myself my analysis when I went to Augusta, and worked on my scenic progression on Google Documents so that I can still access my analysis since it is due Wednesday and I absolutely HAVE to work on it all day tomorrow especially. My present self is currently very pleased with my past self's thoughts for the future.

I've also LITERALLY gained 5 lbs. since fall break started. I'm completely baffled at how quickly my weight fluctuates! So in order to get back in shape so that I can look good in my Jasmine costume from last year for Halloween, I'm going on an extreme sort of diet, well not really that extreme, but more like I'm cutting out ALL sweets, refined carbs, and the like and going back to my kale/sweet potato/beans/veggies/fruits way of eating that was proving to be so successful for me before fall break began. I'm telling you, in Savannah I just let myself loose, and however nice that was- it's time to SNAP back into reality and get back into shape! So I'm putting it out there right now for you guys- keep me accountable! And don't lure me to my favorite frozen yogurt place in the world Chill...or force me to go to half price margarita night at the Cantina...because however much my heart yearns for these things, my body has paid the price for my reckless caloric abandon these past few days and I must get back to where I was!

But anyways, life resumes.

Envy

Okay, so I admit it- I look at the "2 Hot 2 Handle" and "What Were They Thinking?!" Celebrity fashion slideshows from Yahoo.com frequently. Okay, phew. Glad that's over.

Now moving on, very rarely am I ever really blown away by a specific outfit to where I feel like I must blog about it, but TODAY is the day!

This Robert Cavalli gown worn by Rachel Bilson is GORRGGEEOOUUSSSSSS!! And it looks gorgeous on her! Her pose, the way the strap is draped over the shoulder, the train- everything about this dress is absolutely luscious and I want it.

That is all!